Friend just came out as gay. What does he want/need to hear?
That question might not sound the same to everyone, so let me clarify by immediately saying that I would really like people who had previously come out of the closet to answer me on this. I honestly can't think of a better way to handle this than to try and learn from other people's internal experiences on the matter; what did YOU want to hear when you came out as gay/lesbian/bi/whatever? What, in retrospect, SHOULD have people said? What was bad for them to say? And I'm not asking this purely for anthropological purposes either. One of my friends is now identifying as homosexual. He's told other people, hasn't directly told me yet, but I know. Whether or not I should is immaterial, for I'm not gonna unlearn this fact.
So what do people want from their friends when they come out? Support? Indifference? Questioning to a reasonable degree? Questioning to an UNreasonable degree? I'm kinda bumbling around in the dark here.
So what do people want from their friends when they come out? Support? Indifference? Questioning to a reasonable degree? Questioning to an UNreasonable degree? I'm kinda bumbling around in the dark here.
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I didn't want to hear anything. I just wanted everyone to treat me the same way they always had - as friend, as family member, whatever. 
When you come out as 'not straight', I think it helps to know that nothing have changed. To know that you are still their friend and you view them in the same way.
A few of my close friends asked me about my preferences and things when I came out as bi, but most while we had been drinking. I think it is okay to want to know somethings about his sex life, if you want, but don't press him if you do.
Also, since he hasn't actually directly told YOU yet, but you know, don't push him into telling. Maybe give him incredibly small hints but don't confront him about not telling you yet. Some people need more time than others.
Coming out is very difficult so indifference is NOT helpful. Be happy for him that he can share that with you and tell him that if he does tell you, then move on.
I hope that helped.
A few of my close friends asked me about my preferences and things when I came out as bi, but most while we had been drinking. I think it is okay to want to know somethings about his sex life, if you want, but don't press him if you do.
Also, since he hasn't actually directly told YOU yet, but you know, don't push him into telling. Maybe give him incredibly small hints but don't confront him about not telling you yet. Some people need more time than others.
Coming out is very difficult so indifference is NOT helpful. Be happy for him that he can share that with you and tell him that if he does tell you, then move on.
I hope that helped.
Pretty much all that I wanted to hear that nothing was different.
I don't like people making a it a big deal when they learn I'm gay. When I first came out to a friend, she told me that she loved and accepted me for who I was (cliche, I know) and proceeded to treat me how she always does - as a friend. She never pushed me to talk about my sexuality... Imo that's the best reaction I could have gotten... It helped; I grew up in a very homophobic environment, and it took me a while to learn that it's to be gay...
*ok... there should be an 'ok to be gay', dammit, I blew it... Imma go cry in the corner now, excuse me
I appreciated anyone that didn't make a big deal out of it. I felt like I was really abnormal, and I needed reminders that I wasn't.
Say: Good for you. Don't look at my butt.
get him a pink fedora for x-mas
Problem: I would end up keeping the fedora.
Maybe there will be a buy-one-get-one sale!
Just congratulate him for being so brave and keep treating him like you've always done.
This is veri sweet from you.
I'm a girl, who has always been with boys and finally fell in love with a girl. I hate that situation, because in my country homosexuality is still a taboo and i'm so afraid of coming out because this will tag me for the whole life; and aboveall, i want to be sure, before making that great decision.
However, i know for that how homosexual feel. If it was me, i surely would look for support. It's really important to have non-homophobic friend, who understand that there's nothing wrong with sexual orientation, beacuse it's a matter of love. Friends who don't fear you because "OMH you could jump on me and touch my boobs!" ...No. Nothing about it. I really would search for support, yes. Because it'd be so great to know you're not the only one in your battle and that, whatever people would say, your friends will be there.
I'm a girl, who has always been with boys and finally fell in love with a girl. I hate that situation, because in my country homosexuality is still a taboo and i'm so afraid of coming out because this will tag me for the whole life; and aboveall, i want to be sure, before making that great decision.
However, i know for that how homosexual feel. If it was me, i surely would look for support. It's really important to have non-homophobic friend, who understand that there's nothing wrong with sexual orientation, beacuse it's a matter of love. Friends who don't fear you because "OMH you could jump on me and touch my boobs!" ...No. Nothing about it. I really would search for support, yes. Because it'd be so great to know you're not the only one in your battle and that, whatever people would say, your friends will be there.
Well you should support him, I just recently came out to my friends and I was treated a but differently but I'm still the same persons I'm always am, its just that you should support them as they are and treat them like always, no one wants to be treated differently just because something little about them
"It's okay to be gay"
If I came out, I would like a positive reaction, and I wouldn't want my friends or whoever to be rude about it. Treat him like who he is: a friend.
Sorry that I'm not a person whosr actually come out but I have a lot of really close lesbian/gay friends
The best thing you can do is not say anything about it and keep treating them the way they are. The only time you should say anything is if they're trying to hit on you and you don't swing that way. But the orientation means nothing really. Its like a persons preference for food. Some people like hamburgers some like hot dogs.
The best thing you can do is not say anything about it and keep treating them the way they are. The only time you should say anything is if they're trying to hit on you and you don't swing that way. But the orientation means nothing really. Its like a persons preference for food. Some people like hamburgers some like hot dogs.
Welp, when I came out all I really wanted to hear was "that's great for you! And just so you know I will stick by you no matter what, because you're still the same person you were before you told me." and that's really what I got. ^^ just act the same as you always do with him.
When a friend of mine came out to me, I felt honored that he felt he could trust me enough to tell me, and now he is more awesome than ever xD
When a friend of mine came out to me, I felt honored that he felt he could trust me enough to tell me, and now he is more awesome than ever xD
Don't treat him any differently. He doesn't want that. He just wants to get something about himself out in the open
Thank him for trusting you enough to tell you.
There are definitely articles out there that help with the coming out process from a friend's perspective, including a few key things you should say (such as "I still care about you no matter what you identify as" for example) and some things you probably shouldn't mention (such as "I knew you were the entire time!"). I had a friend come out to me and his biggest fear was not being accepted by his family so he was happy enough to find comfort in us as his friends.
I just came out of the closet a bit ago. What I was hoping and wanting to hear and have was for my family and Friends to respect me for who I am, and not treat me differently because of who I am. And fortunatly, that's what I got. Be a supporting friend and support him until the end.
Support is always good, naturally. Nothing much has to change to any huge extent, it's just his sexuality after all 
For me personally... Questions have never been much of a problem or even an annoyance. You're bound to want to know stuff so... Ask away. Check he's alright with you asking first though so that you're not just like probing him for answers or something. Also try to be sensitive about it without being overly sensitive, if that makes sense. 
Other than that though... Do as you will.
For me personally... Questions have never been much of a problem or even an annoyance. You're bound to want to know stuff so... Ask away. Check he's alright with you asking first though so that you're not just like probing him for answers or something. Also try to be sensitive about it without being overly sensitive, if that makes sense. Other than that though... Do as you will.
Let me put it like this: I've a straight friend...they haven't told me they're straight, but I know that they are. What do I say to them?
Kidding aside, that's pretty much the main of things. Just...you know...be their friend...like you were, before.
Kidding aside, that's pretty much the main of things. Just...you know...be their friend...like you were, before.
I'd say that don't bring it up: the best way to show you don't mind is to act as if you don't mind. If he brings it up, be supportive mate. It takes some serious balls to come out of the closet.