Going to have a sort of blind date hopefully soon, need tips


TheMichaelMacRae's avatar
Long story short: I work as a cashier, super cute girl comes through my till with her parents, her parents begin talking to my female co-worker who was working at the till next to me. So i figure they know each other. They leave, and I ask her if she knows the girl. She says yes. I say she was one of the most beautiful people I've seen. She says she can hook me up with her if I wanted. I say HELL YES.

This all happened about 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I go into work and she says she talked to the girl, told her I was an artist that I thought she was super pretty etc and that the girl told her to tell me that next time I see her to say hi and then we can chat and maybe go for coffee or whatever.

SO. My predicament. A: I have to somehow bump into this girl randomly, I know she lives near me but she goes to a different college and I've litterally only seen her twice. One time I saw her at the bus stop in the early morning... but just once.

I have no idea how I'm going to find her. but you guys can't really help with that.

IF I do find her: What do I say?? My plan was simply to say, "hi, my name's Mike, I believe a mutual friend told you about me?" yada yada but beyond that I'm clueless.

QUESTION: what are some basic do's and don't's? How should I act? Do I want to be really flirty or what?

help me
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siegeonthorstadt's avatar
wow youre turkish..
anyway, my advice is: dont take any tips. be yourself. without attaching any "i should do this\that" stuff. bring out your best characteristics without forcing anything.
TheMichaelMacRae's avatar
I'm actually Canadian. I set my name to "I am A" and then changed my country to Turkey so that when I view my profile it says " I am a male/Turkey"
IMDSound's avatar
This is awesome! Reminds me of my own situation similar to this! But hmm, you like have to find her? Your co-worker couldn't just give you her number or something? I guess if that's the case then your best bet is to wait at the bus stop for her. I mean, she probably goes to the stop with regularity, it's highly unlikely that she would never ever go to that bus stop again. She was probably heading to school, you know? I'd say be casual. Don't do anything outside of your personality but also don't be meek or too shy, after all she did already express interest just by telling her friend that she'd like to talk to you, it's not like she blew you off completely. Don't mention how you searched for her though haha. Good luck man. I'd like to know the outcome of this date!
TheMichaelMacRae's avatar
Already happened. Gave my number to a friend of hers. Went out for coffee. Now I'm just trying to find some time to hang out with her again. THough I'm not 100% sure she wants to. I'll have to keep prodding
RavynneNevyrmore's avatar
How long ago did you see her? Have you texted her since? A lot of girls I know get super paranoid about texting activity or lack thereof. It doesn't help that most guys signal that they are no longer interested by never speaking to us again, so sometimes not hearing from a guy we've gone out with after a day or two can make us start to think this is what he's doing. I am apparently very liberal when it comes to how long I will tolerate waiting to hear back from a guy; I've recently made many more female friends than I used to have, and they freak out and even get angry if a guy doesn't text them back within a few hours or so.

Oh, and that's the thing you need to be aware of: First it's "I guess he's busy right now," then it's "Omg he's ignoring my text he must think I'm a loser, boo hoo he doesn't like me," then it's "HOW DARE THAT ASSHOLE IGNORE ME LIKE THIS. FUCK HIM FOR NOT LIKING ME, I HOPE HE ROTS IN HELL." Then sometime after that is probably when you realize you have a text on your phone that you haven't opened yet.

The best thing to do would be to text a girl the day after you've gone out with her and say, "Hey, I had a lot of fun last night! Are you doing anything next weekend?" If it's already been a few days, don't worry yet and just replace "last night" with "the other day" or whatever.

Or, if there's anything you two talked about on your date that would make sense to follow up on, like talking about a funny YouTube video or commercial she hasn't seen, or an article you've read that she hadn't, or a movie that she hasn't heard about yet, or a band she's not familiar with, link her to whatever it was you were trying to describe to her. Don't send a novel of text with it, just "this is that ___ I was talking about: [link]"
TheMichaelMacRae's avatar
Well, we had coffee and walked home together. Then I didn't text her till this weekend, asking what she was up to, she promptly replied she's working saturday and sunday. I asked if she had any last minute shopping to do on christmas eve, she, again, promptly replied luckily she got it all done (I was looking to see if she'd join me in this last minute shopping) Then I asked what she was doing boxing day (today) she said she's going up to her cabin.

I'm thinking of asking if she'd like to meet up again soon, when she gets back. But slant the message toward really asking if she'd like to see me again. Cause I haven't seen her since last monday... I know this weekend has been busy and it's christmas and all so I haven't had the thought that she's avoiding me or anything. And like I said she responded almost immediately after I texted her and they had a light hearted tone to them.

(I feel like such a tool over-analyzing every little thing like this but if you could provide your advice that'd be swell)
RavynneNevyrmore's avatar
Try asking what she's doing for New Year's. Everyone parties on New Year's, right?

If she says nothing or that she doesn't know yet, invite her to your plans. If she says she's doing something, ask if she wants to meet up with you and yours for a while. If she invites you to her plans, go. Or tell her you're already partying with your friends but would love to meet up after.
TheMichaelMacRae's avatar
what if i'm a bum and don't have any plans?

She doesn't seem to be the partying type either. I work with a number of her friends and they are all pretty straight laced. From what I gather she is too.

Do you think it would be weird to hang out on new years for a second date?
RavynneNevyrmore's avatar
You should make plans... I wouldn't really want to date anyone who didn't have any friends. They would get clingy.

What does being straight laced have to do with partying? Straight laced people don't get together and celebrate New Year's? "Partying" doesn't have to mean keg stands, lines of coke, and body shots off hookers. I had plenty of non-alcoholic parties when I was younger.

I don't see it as weird unless you're like "we have to MAKE OUT at midnight" or "this means we're going to be together all year, LOL." If I was making a new friend and had a party coming up I'd invite them so I don't see why it has to be weird. Just have fun hanging out and don't be super coupley. Frankly if I was talking to a guy and found out he went to a New Year's party and didn't think to invite me I'd assume he was just setting me up to be a booty call and that's why he doesn't want me to meet his friends. Or that he's seeing other girls (or wants to be) and didn't want me to cramp his style and prevent him from hooking up with someone else on New Year's. Or didn't want me to meet his friends because he's playing multiple girls and doesn't want his friends to know about it.

But if you wouldn't feel comfortable then don't. The hell do I know.
IMDSound's avatar
Anything happen for you to say she might not want to hang out with you again? And don't prod too much haha!
TheMichaelMacRae's avatar
It's mostly that I've asked her a few times what she was up to on the weekend and on boxing day and that she hasn't really shown an interest in meeting up again. She said she's going to her cabin today, not sure when she's getting back.

Though of course, these are text messages and are thus: stupid. So they shouldn't be taken too seriously. I just have a feeling in my gut that she might not want to meet again. Otherwise she'd have maybe mentioned when she'd be back or mention when she was free or something
IMDSound's avatar
That may be true. But I guess seeing her again won't hurt, right? I mean, s'all up to you! You know how girls are. If you don't persist with them they say that you aren't confident enough or something and if you do persist then they say you're a creep. No pleasing them :/
DecadentDolly's avatar
ooo ooo i wanna be a part of helping!
Have you seen her again yet?
if not:
Don't look too hard for her, maybe ask your coworker who knows her where she likes to hang out. When you do see her, keep it casual! Start with chit chat then ask if she'd be interested in coffee, if so give her your number! Don't ask for her number, it could make her uncomfortable.

Just be yourself, keep it casual, don't get too crazy with the compliments on the first couple of dates, but be sweet.

I want to know when you see her again!
TheMichaelMacRae's avatar
Actually on sunday I worked a closing shift and one of the new girls who works there now is really good friends with the girl in question. I gave my number to her to give to her friend. I explained to her that I had hoped to just run into the girl and start a chat that way but I was doubtful that would happen seeing as I've only seen her twice in the wild.

I wanted to leave it up to myself to get the ball rolling but I don't see how that would happen.. she knows where I work and now she's got my number so if she wants to she can meet me i guess. Woo?

That probably would have been a good idea to ask where she might be... but I'd feel like a stalker
DecadentDolly's avatar
I've been so busy this month but I really hope something happened for you with this girl.
If she has your number it's up to her to make the next move but i hope she contacts you. :)
TheMichaelMacRae's avatar
Last monday we went for coffee. And I have texted her a few times since then. I'm trying to find some time so we can hang out again maybe boxing day or something :D
DecadentDolly's avatar
Wooo! That's so exciting! Hope it went well and that you get the chance to see her again!
chloedeathgod's avatar
dont hug her if u see her, i did that to a lot of people i know but they dont know me, so now there all scared me (well they shud be i am insane)
TheMichaelMacRae's avatar
Don't worry I wasn't planning on it haha.... I WAS GONNA KISS HER HADN THOUGH... THEN MAYBE TAKE A BITE
chloedeathgod's avatar
P.S. Try not to giggle to yourself if she compliments you cos that's when they start to back away... yeah my relationship advice isn't really that helpful, come to think to it. i guess i'm just a very creepy person.
BrunoMonsterberg's avatar
A blind date not quite but almost, eh? Well, just really go out of your way to find her I guess. Don't be a creeper. Number one rule is not to creep. Unless you creep to begin with. But then, stop creeping. Getting off subject...

The point is go for her and, if you see her, just make it so you bump into her. If she's getting on a bus, get on the bus and try sitting next to her. Drastic things call for drastic measures.

Never been on a blind date myself though...
CedarWoods's avatar
This might not be able to help you this time, but I would strongly recommend buying this book:

[link]

The food section has the best brownie recipe you've ever tasted.
BeeSull's avatar
I would just give your friend a note with your number on it and ask them to give it to her. Let your friend know that you'd like to take her out for coffee sometime! :nod: