This is awesome! Reminds me of my own situation similar to this! But hmm, you like have to find her? Your co-worker couldn't just give you her number or something? I guess if that's the case then your best bet is to wait at the bus stop for her. I mean, she probably goes to the stop with regularity, it's highly unlikely that she would never ever go to that bus stop again. She was probably heading to school, you know? I'd say be casual. Don't do anything outside of your personality but also don't be meek or too shy, after all she did already express interest just by telling her friend that she'd like to talk to you, it's not like she blew you off completely. Don't mention how you searched for her though haha. Good luck man. I'd like to know the outcome of this date!
TheMichaelMacRaeFeatured By OwnerDec 25, 2012Hobbyist Digital Artist
Already happened. Gave my number to a friend of hers. Went out for coffee. Now I'm just trying to find some time to hang out with her again. THough I'm not 100% sure she wants to. I'll have to keep prodding
How long ago did you see her? Have you texted her since? A lot of girls I know get super paranoid about texting activity or lack thereof. It doesn't help that most guys signal that they are no longer interested by never speaking to us again, so sometimes not hearing from a guy we've gone out with after a day or two can make us start to think this is what he's doing. I am apparently very liberal when it comes to how long I will tolerate waiting to hear back from a guy; I've recently made many more female friends than I used to have, and they freak out and even get angry if a guy doesn't text them back within a few hours or so.
Oh, and that's the thing you need to be aware of: First it's "I guess he's busy right now," then it's "Omg he's ignoring my text he must think I'm a loser, boo hoo he doesn't like me," then it's "HOW DARE THAT ASSHOLE IGNORE ME LIKE THIS. FUCK HIM FOR NOT LIKING ME, I HOPE HE ROTS IN HELL." Then sometime after that is probably when you realize you have a text on your phone that you haven't opened yet.
The best thing to do would be to text a girl the day after you've gone out with her and say, "Hey, I had a lot of fun last night! Are you doing anything next weekend?" If it's already been a few days, don't worry yet and just replace "last night" with "the other day" or whatever.
Or, if there's anything you two talked about on your date that would make sense to follow up on, like talking about a funny YouTube video or commercial she hasn't seen, or an article you've read that she hadn't, or a movie that she hasn't heard about yet, or a band she's not familiar with, link her to whatever it was you were trying to describe to her. Don't send a novel of text with it, just "this is that ___ I was talking about: [link]"
TheMichaelMacRaeFeatured By OwnerDec 26, 2012Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well, we had coffee and walked home together. Then I didn't text her till this weekend, asking what she was up to, she promptly replied she's working saturday and sunday. I asked if she had any last minute shopping to do on christmas eve, she, again, promptly replied luckily she got it all done (I was looking to see if she'd join me in this last minute shopping) Then I asked what she was doing boxing day (today) she said she's going up to her cabin.
I'm thinking of asking if she'd like to meet up again soon, when she gets back. But slant the message toward really asking if she'd like to see me again. Cause I haven't seen her since last monday... I know this weekend has been busy and it's christmas and all so I haven't had the thought that she's avoiding me or anything. And like I said she responded almost immediately after I texted her and they had a light hearted tone to them.
(I feel like such a tool over-analyzing every little thing like this but if you could provide your advice that'd be swell)
Try asking what she's doing for New Year's. Everyone parties on New Year's, right?
If she says nothing or that she doesn't know yet, invite her to your plans. If she says she's doing something, ask if she wants to meet up with you and yours for a while. If she invites you to her plans, go. Or tell her you're already partying with your friends but would love to meet up after.
You should make plans... I wouldn't really want to date anyone who didn't have any friends. They would get clingy.
What does being straight laced have to do with partying? Straight laced people don't get together and celebrate New Year's? "Partying" doesn't have to mean keg stands, lines of coke, and body shots off hookers. I had plenty of non-alcoholic parties when I was younger.
I don't see it as weird unless you're like "we have to MAKE OUT at midnight" or "this means we're going to be together all year, LOL." If I was making a new friend and had a party coming up I'd invite them so I don't see why it has to be weird. Just have fun hanging out and don't be super coupley. Frankly if I was talking to a guy and found out he went to a New Year's party and didn't think to invite me I'd assume he was just setting me up to be a booty call and that's why he doesn't want me to meet his friends. Or that he's seeing other girls (or wants to be) and didn't want me to cramp his style and prevent him from hooking up with someone else on New Year's. Or didn't want me to meet his friends because he's playing multiple girls and doesn't want his friends to know about it.
But if you wouldn't feel comfortable then don't. The hell do I know.
TheMichaelMacRaeFeatured By OwnerDec 26, 2012Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's mostly that I've asked her a few times what she was up to on the weekend and on boxing day and that she hasn't really shown an interest in meeting up again. She said she's going to her cabin today, not sure when she's getting back.
Though of course, these are text messages and are thus: stupid. So they shouldn't be taken too seriously. I just have a feeling in my gut that she might not want to meet again. Otherwise she'd have maybe mentioned when she'd be back or mention when she was free or something
That may be true. But I guess seeing her again won't hurt, right? I mean, s'all up to you! You know how girls are. If you don't persist with them they say that you aren't confident enough or something and if you do persist then they say you're a creep. No pleasing them :/
ooo ooo i wanna be a part of helping! Have you seen her again yet? if not: Don't look too hard for her, maybe ask your coworker who knows her where she likes to hang out. When you do see her, keep it casual! Start with chit chat then ask if she'd be interested in coffee, if so give her your number! Don't ask for her number, it could make her uncomfortable.
Just be yourself, keep it casual, don't get too crazy with the compliments on the first couple of dates, but be sweet.
TheMichaelMacRaeFeatured By OwnerDec 11, 2012Hobbyist Digital Artist
Actually on sunday I worked a closing shift and one of the new girls who works there now is really good friends with the girl in question. I gave my number to her to give to her friend. I explained to her that I had hoped to just run into the girl and start a chat that way but I was doubtful that would happen seeing as I've only seen her twice in the wild.
I wanted to leave it up to myself to get the ball rolling but I don't see how that would happen.. she knows where I work and now she's got my number so if she wants to she can meet me i guess. Woo?
That probably would have been a good idea to ask where she might be... but I'd feel like a stalker
P.S. Try not to giggle to yourself if she compliments you cos that's when they start to back away... yeah my relationship advice isn't really that helpful, come to think to it. i guess i'm just a very creepy person.
A blind date not quite but almost, eh? Well, just really go out of your way to find her I guess. Don't be a creeper. Number one rule is not to creep. Unless you creep to begin with. But then, stop creeping. Getting off subject...
The point is go for her and, if you see her, just make it so you bump into her. If she's getting on a bus, get on the bus and try sitting next to her. Drastic things call for drastic measures.
Rule number one: calm down. Relax. It seems you already have her interested, so don't worry.
Since she knows where you work and seems to shop there at times, let her come to you. As mentioned before - she seems interested, you have already made the first move by talking to your mutual friend, let her take the next step. That said, if you two DO bump into each other then you could of course ask if she want to grab a coffee or whatever.
On a date: how would you be if you were out with friends? Don't be different. If you hit off with this girl, she is likely to get to know how you really are, so why pretend to be "better" to get her interested? And depending on how you are "flirty"... don't. If it comes natural, then do it. Don't give compliments if - you know it - it's all natural. Unless it's one of those "you're the most beautiful girls I've ever seen" - it might be true... but it's a bit too much for a first date. Conversations should come naturally if you fit each other.
When I met my boyfriend my opening line was "I hope you're not trying to be the Joker in Batman". Okay, he was sitting in my lap, so not saying anything would've been weird, but still, it was the first thing I said and it turns out we're both Batman fans. From that the conversation just went on naturally for most parts of the night... the next morning and now we've been together for over a year. If you don't have enough things in common to have long conversations then things probably won't work.
For the "asking for number" thing, that would come quite naturally too. If you ask her out for coffee, give her your number so you can stay in touch. Overall, I think giving her your number is better then asking for hers.
The first two dates are, get to know each other type scenarios, go get coffee/hot chocolate and talk about what you both like. This, and the second date should be somewhere where you can talk, there are no formalities, ie, buying her roses.
However that said, its important to be yourself, theres no point lying or trying to impress, you want to know what she likes and who she is, and like wise the opposite. If you're a little nervous, tell her, but in all honesty, she'll be just as nervous.
After those two dates, if you want to carry on, do it, if you're a romantic sod, buy her flowers, if not, don't. Its sorta like an interview.
She already knows where you work, so if she's interested, which it seems like she is, she'll come find you, which you want for two reasons. One you don't run the risk of seeming creepy by searching for her, and two, you have a much better chance of sealing the deal and less to worry about if she's the one that finds you.
As for conversation, why don't you just start to tell her a little bit about yourself.
TheMichaelMacRaeFeatured By OwnerDec 4, 2012Hobbyist Digital Artist
Also, I guess this is kinda a given but what do I ask of her when I first meet her? SHould I ask for her phone number then take off? Should I be like, "hey wanna get some cOffEE some time? I'll call you soon is that ok?"
Also, when you next see her, talk to her for a bit before asking her out. Asking her out for a coffee should be what wraps up the convo, plus then you've already Talked with her enough to know how an hour or two at a Starbucks would pan out.