Deviant Login Shop
 Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour

Details

Closed to new replies
December 3, 2012
Link

Statistics

Replies: 12

My friend is in emotional turmoil and he's being a jerk because of it. what do I do?

:icontita442:
tita442 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Ok, so my friend is being extremely unreasonable. Some years ago, stuff went down with him and his other friend. lets call them Dragon and Mouse, for privacy reasons. mouse is the one who is being unreasonable. Dragon is a victim of harassment. A few years ago, when dragon was harassed, Mouse was part of it. In my opinion, it wasn't extreme. though after what happened, Dragon was slightly traumatized and all the friends she had at the time, she dumped and made new ones in high school. Mouse and Dragon were very unfriendly after that. Mouse did not know it would hurt dragon so much, nor did he even mean to hurt her(as far as my knowledge goes). they all probably thought it was just joking around. soon after, dragons very mean grandmother,.... Snake(lets go with that) got a restraining order on the few people who were involved in the incident. Dragon wasn't allowed to clear things up with her friends. Or talk to them. or have any interaction with them... I think that was the fuse that started it... then Mouse said something a year later that dragon took much too literally. Mouse was staying at Dragons house because it was so big. then me and his mother were kicked out. that made Mouse feel worse than before. He thinks Dragon is being a bitch and is doing this on purpose. I can imagine dragon thinks mouse is a terrible, mislead person. then some more stuff happened, which furthered the crack between us all. Mouse refuses to believe that Dragon is a victim in any way,and dragon just doesn't want to talk to mouse what so ever. Mouse is also making things seem worse than they are. I don't. maybe they actually ARE worse. it doesn't help that mouse has social disorders and has anger management. What should i do?
Reply

You can no longer comment on this thread as it was closed due to no activity for a month.

Devious Comments

:icontita442:
tita442 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
ooooops.... ok that's embarrassing. when i wrote me and his mother i meant to write he and his mother.....
Reply
:iconalliekat1996:
AllieKat1996 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Interesting take on this.

My grandmother didn't kick him and his mother out. His mother decided to leave, on her own. There was no kicking out, his mother told him to get his stuff and start walking. HIS MOTHER. NOT NANA. Just so you know. Don't believe me, ask her.

Also, it's not just what went down that one time. Okay, so he held me down once so this other kid could put disgusting things in my mouth. That's one thing. He stole my clothes on a regular basis. He sneaked onto my computer, infected it, and lost one of the keys. He'll deny that one, but I have proof--- Gaia was in my history. *I* don't go on gaia. He wrecked a room in the basement so bad we had to have it completely redone. NEVERMIND what he did to me over the years before that. He's violent, and would hit me until I bruised. The only thing that made him stop was when I actually started hitting back. He used to say things like "I can't hang out with you in school, because you're embarrassing to be around." Sweety, it was NOT a healthy "friendship," not through any of it. He says and does awful things. He doesn't just have one little social problem. He is a sociopath- he only cares for himself. He might do nice things for you sometimes, but just watch what happens when you need help, and it would be detrimental to him to give it to you.

You other two, this is not teen drama. This has been going on for years.

There's gonna be no talking this out. He just makes me uncomfortable. I have some friends I love very much, I don't WANT to go BACK to being treated like that. Him, and the others involved were very condescending, and had no respect for me. Back then was when I had my all time self-esteem low. You and your sister weren't doing that, but you were encouraging me to stay with those people. You seem to think that that sort of thing is okay- and it's not. You shouldn't put up with it either.

Just thought you might learn something from my side of the story...
Reply
:icontita442:
tita442 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
oh, I am really sorry about this. though, if there's one thing i learned from other people not telling me stuff,it's that not telling people the problems can add up. like, when my friend didn't tell me that she thought what i was saying to her was insulting. if I knew that, i would have stopped right away. but she just spun on me and said i was being a jerk. she didn't tell me why or anything and wouldn't talk to me for about a month. she's not really friends with me now... more like aquatints. wanna know why that is? because she didn't tell me what was wrong, so she basically didn't let me make amends. and all over a silly spat that friends have sometimes. communicating is important, and I still really want you as a friend... we both still care about you even if it's not the same for you to us.
Reply
:icontita442:
tita442 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
: ( Actually, it's nice to learn your side. i just thought you wouldn't want to talk about, since you really didn't seem to even talk to me....... >_< thanks for replying. I know he can be a really big jerk and drama whore(and yes he can be a sociopath, i realized this) an now I understand your actions more. but... if that wasn't it, then why did you get rid of even the friends that were kind to you? Shina couldn't have cared for you more. just because she was too clingy? I really don't mean to turn this on you at all, but... you really hurt her feelings, and kind of mine..... were you really her friend, or were you only her friend because you had no one else... she says she doesn't know if she took the note you sent her a while back wrong. it would be really nice for some closure. though..... why doesn't he treat us the same way?
Reply
:iconalliekat1996:
AllieKat1996 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You two were kinda a part of all that. No, you were not doing what they were but... you didn't see the problem. I just kinda flushed everything to do with that part of my life. As for Shina, well, yeah. A good part of it was that she didn't understand my separation from the others, and a good part of it was the clinginess. I was friends with her, but the constant "If you weren't straight..." speech was getting kinda old, and it was weird. I don't know why he might treat you two different. Maybe cause you guys didn't know him since first grade.

If I'm being perfectly honest-- I hate him. I DID try to tell him that what he was doing was shit, but you know how well he listens. The way he treated me, and my family was not okay. As for the others-- well, I just kinda dislike the former shorty. He was actually apologetic- though it took time for him to realize that what he did was not okay. I've heard he's even becoming a more decent person- and good for him. As for you and your sister... I dunno. I felt smothered at the time, and since you guys hang out with said people who I very much dislike...

...not only that, but I've changed. My interests are different, my sense of humor is... sorta different :P but basically, I'm not into the same stuff you guys are anymore.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't dislike you. I don't think we're super close friends, or that we're going to be-- though I'm not ruling out the possibility that we could change in a way that makes us like to be friends again. It's kinda hard to be around you and Shina without being reminded of a time in my life that kinda sucked. But I don't have anything against you two.
Reply
:icontita442:
tita442 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
.... ok.
Reply
:icontacosteev:
tacosteev Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist
How can mouse stay at her house? No more restraining order? Why were you and her mother kicked out?

Personally it's between those two. Getting involved will appear as if you're taking sides and your good intentions will end badly for you. It's teen drama and it'll run its course.

Sounds like both of them should see a counselor to resolve it. It seems like a huge miscommunication situation to me.
Reply
:icontita442:
tita442 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
sorry about that. i meant to type he instead of me. and the restraining order was placed upon the other people who weren't living in the house.
Reply
:icontacosteev:
tacosteev Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist
No worries, was just a little confused about that bit. But my advice stands. Getting in between of their little spat will only end badly for you. They're your friends so you can be friends to them, but don't get middle. Good luck!
Reply
:icontita442:
tita442 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
Gaw. Thanks for the good luck
Reply
Add a Comment: