I want to get angry....
I have a little problem. I never get angry, not on the outside anyways. I keep my bad feelings cooped up inside and I worry to much about the consequences.
This makes people walk all over me at times.
Anyone else have these problems?
I just want to say what I really feel to some peoples face when they piss me off.
I very rarely do that and I think it would give me a lot more respect if I did.
I always earned my respect by being nice and friendly but that does just not work with some people.
This makes people walk all over me at times.
Anyone else have these problems?
I just want to say what I really feel to some peoples face when they piss me off.
I very rarely do that and I think it would give me a lot more respect if I did.
I always earned my respect by being nice and friendly but that does just not work with some people.
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I know exactly how you feel. It was horrible for me throughout high school. I never spoke my mind, and despite the fact people wronged me, I would still say nothing. In fact, I would feel guilty -- the idea that I was inconveniencing them.
But it's something you need to deal with. Keeping your emotions pent up inside isn't good, though. For me, I think a lot of these bad feelings got cooped up inside and stayed with me when I went to college. Whenever I was under a lot of stress (eg. studying for exams) I would lash out. Someone would say one little thing, make one little noise, and I would just spazz and go nuts. But you know, it's really tiring. I eventually learned to just try to speak my mind more and as a result, I don't spazz out as much, and I feel better emotionally, too.
And the thing is, it's not necessarily about BEING ANGRY RAAAH HULK SMASSSHHH. I think if you feel like someone has wronged you, or said something incredibly stupid, just say what is on your mind in a calm manner. There is a difference between speaking your mind and being angry, you know? Because if you do get angry like WAHKHWEWEEEAA, I feel like people might interpret that as being a whiny baby. But if you can get your point across sternly, but calmly, I think people know not to cause shit with you.
I know it's easier said than done, but that might be something to consider? It's a bit scary at first when you speak your mind and you're not used to it (at least it was for me), but I think once you do it a few times...it can definitely offer you some relief. It's okay to speak your mind, you know?
But it's something you need to deal with. Keeping your emotions pent up inside isn't good, though. For me, I think a lot of these bad feelings got cooped up inside and stayed with me when I went to college. Whenever I was under a lot of stress (eg. studying for exams) I would lash out. Someone would say one little thing, make one little noise, and I would just spazz and go nuts. But you know, it's really tiring. I eventually learned to just try to speak my mind more and as a result, I don't spazz out as much, and I feel better emotionally, too.
And the thing is, it's not necessarily about BEING ANGRY RAAAH HULK SMASSSHHH. I think if you feel like someone has wronged you, or said something incredibly stupid, just say what is on your mind in a calm manner. There is a difference between speaking your mind and being angry, you know? Because if you do get angry like WAHKHWEWEEEAA, I feel like people might interpret that as being a whiny baby. But if you can get your point across sternly, but calmly, I think people know not to cause shit with you.
I know it's easier said than done, but that might be something to consider? It's a bit scary at first when you speak your mind and you're not used to it (at least it was for me), but I think once you do it a few times...it can definitely offer you some relief. It's okay to speak your mind, you know?
Yes that is what I am trying to achive, just finding the middle way of speaking my mind when upset. I don't want the HULK SMASH thing. I did work as a demolisher for a little while though. Good way to get a little HULK SMASH and get paid to do it 
i too know that feel, m8. 
from what i've gathered, people tend to react and stop doing stupid shit when the person being bothered expresses it. However, i too find myself unwilling to accept the consequences of disagree with a person's harmful actions.
However, a couple days ago, i did tell this one dude who kept running his hands over my backpack to cut that shit out. I was surprised when he didn't put up a fight and stopped. (it seems that people aren't expecting people to express active disagreement, and when surprised, go into 'obedience mode' by default.)
I'm still feeling that feel, but not as bad as before. hopefully, this observation from someone in a similar situation helps you out.
from what i've gathered, people tend to react and stop doing stupid shit when the person being bothered expresses it. However, i too find myself unwilling to accept the consequences of disagree with a person's harmful actions.
However, a couple days ago, i did tell this one dude who kept running his hands over my backpack to cut that shit out. I was surprised when he didn't put up a fight and stopped. (it seems that people aren't expecting people to express active disagreement, and when surprised, go into 'obedience mode' by default.)
I'm still feeling that feel, but not as bad as before. hopefully, this observation from someone in a similar situation helps you out.
Well I did something like that to. Like ten years back we were sitting a bunch of guys in a minivan. The guy sitting behind me was flicking me in the back of the head and it was annoying as hell. I told him to quit it a few times. But he did not so I teared up a plane ticked I had in my pocket in to confetti and threw it at him. The bunch of stiff paper did not spread out though. It was like a small paper throwing star and it hit him in the eye. Well e got insanely pissed of course, and he had noooo problem acting out his rage. So I got hit hard in the back of my head twice.
No moral to the story, this was when i was in the military so it ended up in meeting and hearings and it came to nothing in the end. It all just ran out in the sand.
No moral to the story, this was when i was in the military so it ended up in meeting and hearings and it came to nothing in the end. It all just ran out in the sand.
Martial arts can be a big help in learning to express anger. Boxing is good too (even if you only train with props).
It is the best, to train yourself in to utter exhaustion really gets the endorphines flowing
go into the forest and sream as loud as you can
I have good outlets for anger. It is just that I need to stand up to more agressive people that is an issue for me.
find the reason why you dont like those people and tell them...?
It sounds so easy here, but I tend to get locked up when i get upset and nothing comes to me. And when I calm down I am no longer angry and have no need to say anything about it....
So, did I get it right: You want to show you are not always like Mr.Niceguy and that you can also be angry and loud even though you don`t have real reason why you are aggressive when calming down and thinking about it?
Or is it more like you can`t say sth because you don`t know what and how and you feel kinda helpless?
Or is it more like you can`t say sth because you don`t know what and how and you feel kinda helpless?
I wan't people to walk in to a wall when they try to walk all over me
I am Mr nice guy and I don't want that to change. I just want to unlock my mind when upset so I can talk back in an argument or when someone is being overly bossy.
I don't like authority from people that has not earned the respect authority should be built upon. But all I can do now is be passive aggressive and that just feels petty and stupid in the end.
I am Mr nice guy and I don't want that to change. I just want to unlock my mind when upset so I can talk back in an argument or when someone is being overly bossy.
I don't like authority from people that has not earned the respect authority should be built upon. But all I can do now is be passive aggressive and that just feels petty and stupid in the end.
Well I also face the similar situation sometimes or may be most of the times.
May be it is due to over thinking and less talk.
May be I should talk a little more (not too much, I need to be moderate, not too talkative, not too silent), only then I think this issue can be copped. If you do not share your feelings/problems with others, you keep on thinking about them, which make you even tense.
I know sometimes people do not behave in a good way, and since people (having similar issue as yours) do not talk much, so they cannot answer them immediately. And when they come back home, they start thinking about it, which makes them even tense.
So, I was also thinking to do some practice of talking. And one should try to take this life positively.
[link]
May be it is due to over thinking and less talk.
May be I should talk a little more (not too much, I need to be moderate, not too talkative, not too silent), only then I think this issue can be copped. If you do not share your feelings/problems with others, you keep on thinking about them, which make you even tense.
I know sometimes people do not behave in a good way, and since people (having similar issue as yours) do not talk much, so they cannot answer them immediately. And when they come back home, they start thinking about it, which makes them even tense.
So, I was also thinking to do some practice of talking
. And one should try to take this life positively.[link]
Well yes, I am the "if I can't say anything nice, I don't say anything at all" kind of guy
Why does the perfect comeback come to me like a week after the event. far to late for anyone to remember the quarrel....
Why does the perfect comeback come to me like a week after the event. far to late for anyone to remember the quarrel....
Getting angry and speaking your mind are two very different things. Im pretty much angry all the time but I avoid taking my frustration out on people when I can, only because when I do focus on people, I tend to focus on those that are around me at the time, which isnt entirely a good thing.
Getting angry "on the outside" can be expressed in a variety of ways also. I tend to break alot of stuff, sometimes unintentionally,to take out my anger. To be honest, its preferable to smash a window to smashing someones face in.
If you do find it difficult to get angry at someone and you reallyyyy feel you need to, just think of a bunch of stuff that you really hate and try to associate that person with it. Only advice I can really give. Just remember, being an ass is going to loose you more friends then it will make you, so just keep reminding yourself to not go overboard and you should be fine.
Getting angry "on the outside" can be expressed in a variety of ways also. I tend to break alot of stuff, sometimes unintentionally,to take out my anger. To be honest, its preferable to smash a window to smashing someones face in.
If you do find it difficult to get angry at someone and you reallyyyy feel you need to, just think of a bunch of stuff that you really hate and try to associate that person with it. Only advice I can really give. Just remember, being an ass is going to loose you more friends then it will make you, so just keep reminding yourself to not go overboard and you should be fine.
I work in a car company we always have tyres around to punch
I am feeling a little bit like the classic movie wimp who need s to stand up to father, mother, boss etc. I just feel like I am taking a lot of shit needlessly.
The problem is not feeling anger it is expressing it, and surpressing anger makes it harder to express other feeling as well. Supressing one feeling a lot tend to make me numb inside.
I am feeling a little bit like the classic movie wimp who need s to stand up to father, mother, boss etc. I just feel like I am taking a lot of shit needlessly.
The problem is not feeling anger it is expressing it, and surpressing anger makes it harder to express other feeling as well. Supressing one feeling a lot tend to make me numb inside.
I've always had a really hard time expressing anger, especially towards other people. I usually end up more angry at myself than whoever or whatever it was that made me angry.
I've never been able to handle "negative emotions" well, probably because I was punished for displaying them as a child and never learned how to express them in a normal, healthy manner. Now, I only know how to internalize that anger and it's pretty painful for me to get angry, so I try really hard to not be angry, ever. So, I basically have to be the nicest, most forgiving person possible in order not to either cry or injure myself on a daily basis.
The upside is that pretty much everyone thinks I'm either ridiculously nice or mildly retarded and basically ignore me. The downside is that the assholes think they can walk all over me and that I won't ever do anything except sigh heavily or cry.
So what I do about this is take Zoloft (prescribed for anxiety, but it kind of knocks out the majority of my emotions, including anger) and practice controlling my thoughts. I tend to go over and over situations that make me upset in some way, so I force myself to avoid thinking about those things.
I've never been able to handle "negative emotions" well, probably because I was punished for displaying them as a child and never learned how to express them in a normal, healthy manner. Now, I only know how to internalize that anger and it's pretty painful for me to get angry, so I try really hard to not be angry, ever. So, I basically have to be the nicest, most forgiving person possible in order not to either cry or injure myself on a daily basis.
The upside is that pretty much everyone thinks I'm either ridiculously nice or mildly retarded and basically ignore me. The downside is that the assholes think they can walk all over me and that I won't ever do anything except sigh heavily or cry.
So what I do about this is take Zoloft (prescribed for anxiety, but it kind of knocks out the majority of my emotions, including anger) and practice controlling my thoughts. I tend to go over and over situations that make me upset in some way, so I force myself to avoid thinking about those things.
I had a pill called atarax but it was not for regular use, only for when the anxiety gets to strong to handle. the pill does not take it all away or numb me it just takes the edge of the anxiety.
I have the same problem with people underestimating me because I am not as assertive as more aggressive people are. But given time most people learn to respect me.
I have the same problem with people underestimating me because I am not as assertive as more aggressive people are. But given time most people learn to respect me.
I don't get angry either but there is one 2 things that made me rage for no apparent reason 1 the movie Bronson I have no idea why it evoked my feelings the way it did I liked that movie, and 2 Tim White-Sobieski's work Alpha, seeing that in person made me really angry.
I have not seen either of them. Perhaps I should take a look.
it always makes me feel better
I will check it out then. I could not find the Alpha artwork you recommended though. Do you have a link?
No matter how strained the friendship is, show yur anger. Don't keep it inside. It'll kill you inside.
Yes that is the problem, supressing one feeling supresses the others as well.
If I cant feel anger, I can't feel love and happiness.
Yin and Yang etc
If I cant feel anger, I can't feel love and happiness.
Yin and Yang etc