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November 28, 2012
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I want to get angry....

:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I have a little problem. I never get angry, not on the outside anyways. I keep my bad feelings cooped up inside and I worry to much about the consequences.
This makes people walk all over me at times.
Anyone else have these problems?

I just want to say what I really feel to some peoples face when they piss me off.
I very rarely do that and I think it would give me a lot more respect if I did.

I always earned my respect by being nice and friendly but that does just not work with some people.
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Devious Comments

:iconrendjur:
rendjur Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012
I know exactly how you feel. It was horrible for me throughout high school. I never spoke my mind, and despite the fact people wronged me, I would still say nothing. In fact, I would feel guilty -- the idea that I was inconveniencing them.

But it's something you need to deal with. Keeping your emotions pent up inside isn't good, though. For me, I think a lot of these bad feelings got cooped up inside and stayed with me when I went to college. Whenever I was under a lot of stress (eg. studying for exams) I would lash out. Someone would say one little thing, make one little noise, and I would just spazz and go nuts. But you know, it's really tiring. I eventually learned to just try to speak my mind more and as a result, I don't spazz out as much, and I feel better emotionally, too.

And the thing is, it's not necessarily about BEING ANGRY RAAAH HULK SMASSSHHH. I think if you feel like someone has wronged you, or said something incredibly stupid, just say what is on your mind in a calm manner. There is a difference between speaking your mind and being angry, you know? Because if you do get angry like WAHKHWEWEEEAA, I feel like people might interpret that as being a whiny baby. But if you can get your point across sternly, but calmly, I think people know not to cause shit with you.

I know it's easier said than done, but that might be something to consider? It's a bit scary at first when you speak your mind and you're not used to it (at least it was for me), but I think once you do it a few times...it can definitely offer you some relief. It's okay to speak your mind, you know?
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Yes that is what I am trying to achive, just finding the middle way of speaking my mind when upset. I don't want the HULK SMASH thing. I did work as a demolisher for a little while though. Good way to get a little HULK SMASH and get paid to do it =)
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:iconvelvetfish:
VelvetFish Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Student Filmographer
i too know that feel, m8. :(

from what i've gathered, people tend to react and stop doing stupid shit when the person being bothered expresses it. However, i too find myself unwilling to accept the consequences of disagree with a person's harmful actions.

However, a couple days ago, i did tell this one dude who kept running his hands over my backpack to cut that shit out. I was surprised when he didn't put up a fight and stopped. (it seems that people aren't expecting people to express active disagreement, and when surprised, go into 'obedience mode' by default.)

I'm still feeling that feel, but not as bad as before. hopefully, this observation from someone in a similar situation helps you out.
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Well I did something like that to. Like ten years back we were sitting a bunch of guys in a minivan. The guy sitting behind me was flicking me in the back of the head and it was annoying as hell. I told him to quit it a few times. But he did not so I teared up a plane ticked I had in my pocket in to confetti and threw it at him. The bunch of stiff paper did not spread out though. It was like a small paper throwing star and it hit him in the eye. Well e got insanely pissed of course, and he had noooo problem acting out his rage. So I got hit hard in the back of my head twice.

No moral to the story, this was when i was in the military so it ended up in meeting and hearings and it came to nothing in the end. It all just ran out in the sand.
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:iconjericawinters:
JericaWinters Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012
Martial arts can be a big help in learning to express anger. Boxing is good too (even if you only train with props).
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
It is the best, to train yourself in to utter exhaustion really gets the endorphines flowing =)
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:icono0christina0o:
o0Christina0o Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist
go into the forest and sream as loud as you can
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I have good outlets for anger. It is just that I need to stand up to more agressive people that is an issue for me.
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:icono0christina0o:
o0Christina0o Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist
find the reason why you dont like those people and tell them...?
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
It sounds so easy here, but I tend to get locked up when i get upset and nothing comes to me. And when I calm down I am no longer angry and have no need to say anything about it....
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:icono0christina0o:
o0Christina0o Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist
So, did I get it right: You want to show you are not always like Mr.Niceguy and that you can also be angry and loud even though you don`t have real reason why you are aggressive when calming down and thinking about it?
Or is it more like you can`t say sth because you don`t know what and how and you feel kinda helpless?
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I wan't people to walk in to a wall when they try to walk all over me =)

I am Mr nice guy and I don't want that to change. I just want to unlock my mind when upset so I can talk back in an argument or when someone is being overly bossy.
I don't like authority from people that has not earned the respect authority should be built upon. But all I can do now is be passive aggressive and that just feels petty and stupid in the end.
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:iconandyducat:
AndyDucat Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012
Well I also face the similar situation sometimes or may be most of the times.

May be it is due to over thinking and less talk.

May be I should talk a little more (not too much, I need to be moderate, not too talkative, not too silent), only then I think this issue can be copped. If you do not share your feelings/problems with others, you keep on thinking about them, which make you even tense.

I know sometimes people do not behave in a good way, and since people (having similar issue as yours) do not talk much, so they cannot answer them immediately. And when they come back home, they start thinking about it, which makes them even tense.

So, I was also thinking to do some practice of talking :). And one should try to take this life positively.

[link]
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Well yes, I am the "if I can't say anything nice, I don't say anything at all" kind of guy =)

Why does the perfect comeback come to me like a week after the event. far to late for anyone to remember the quarrel....
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:iconcommisarjakster:
CommisarJakster Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Getting angry and speaking your mind are two very different things. Im pretty much angry all the time but I avoid taking my frustration out on people when I can, only because when I do focus on people, I tend to focus on those that are around me at the time, which isnt entirely a good thing.

Getting angry "on the outside" can be expressed in a variety of ways also. I tend to break alot of stuff, sometimes unintentionally,to take out my anger. To be honest, its preferable to smash a window to smashing someones face in.

If you do find it difficult to get angry at someone and you reallyyyy feel you need to, just think of a bunch of stuff that you really hate and try to associate that person with it. Only advice I can really give. Just remember, being an ass is going to loose you more friends then it will make you, so just keep reminding yourself to not go overboard and you should be fine.
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I work in a car company we always have tyres around to punch =)

I am feeling a little bit like the classic movie wimp who need s to stand up to father, mother, boss etc. I just feel like I am taking a lot of shit needlessly.

The problem is not feeling anger it is expressing it, and surpressing anger makes it harder to express other feeling as well. Supressing one feeling a lot tend to make me numb inside.
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:iconedarlin:
edarlin Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
I've always had a really hard time expressing anger, especially towards other people. I usually end up more angry at myself than whoever or whatever it was that made me angry.
I've never been able to handle "negative emotions" well, probably because I was punished for displaying them as a child and never learned how to express them in a normal, healthy manner. Now, I only know how to internalize that anger and it's pretty painful for me to get angry, so I try really hard to not be angry, ever. So, I basically have to be the nicest, most forgiving person possible in order not to either cry or injure myself on a daily basis.
The upside is that pretty much everyone thinks I'm either ridiculously nice or mildly retarded and basically ignore me. The downside is that the assholes think they can walk all over me and that I won't ever do anything except sigh heavily or cry.

So what I do about this is take Zoloft (prescribed for anxiety, but it kind of knocks out the majority of my emotions, including anger) and practice controlling my thoughts. I tend to go over and over situations that make me upset in some way, so I force myself to avoid thinking about those things.
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I had a pill called atarax but it was not for regular use, only for when the anxiety gets to strong to handle. the pill does not take it all away or numb me it just takes the edge of the anxiety.

I have the same problem with people underestimating me because I am not as assertive as more aggressive people are. But given time most people learn to respect me.
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:icondaydawndusk:
DayDawnDusk Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I don't get angry either but there is one 2 things that made me rage for no apparent reason 1 the movie Bronson I have no idea why it evoked my feelings the way it did I liked that movie, and 2 Tim White-Sobieski's work Alpha, seeing that in person made me really angry.
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I have not seen either of them. Perhaps I should take a look.
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:icondaydawndusk:
DayDawnDusk Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
it always makes me feel better
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I will check it out then. I could not find the Alpha artwork you recommended though. Do you have a link?
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:iconfxuker:
Fxuker Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Professional General Artist
No matter how strained the friendship is, show yur anger. Don't keep it inside. It'll kill you inside.
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Yes that is the problem, supressing one feeling supresses the others as well.
If I cant feel anger, I can't feel love and happiness.
Yin and Yang etc =)
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:iconfxuker:
Fxuker Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Professional General Artist
You can't feel any other emotions without feeling a specific one? In this case, anger? That's kind of odd to be honest.... I've never heard anything like this before :o I'm worried about you.
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I mean by surpressing one feeling a lot the rest gets affected as well. It does not kill all emotions, it numbs me.
What I am trying to say here is that because I don't show anger I have trouble showing happiness. Because whenever I have a very strong feeling my natural instinct has become to supress it. Whatever that feeling may be.

It makes me feel fake or unnatural in some way, it is simply not comfortable for me to express strong feelings to other people. And the source of that uncomfortatblenes is when I started supressing anger at a young age.

I got angry a lot when i was young (say about 7-12 years) but I thought myself to keep it inside. Because i got bullied in school.
I have always been strange, but these days it is more to my advantage than when I was young. Now it is a strength to differentiate from the general crowd.

Short summary: quick to anger, learned to contain it, over did it, can't find a middle way now.
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:iconfxuker:
Fxuker Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Professional General Artist
I sort of get it now. :)
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Good, it is a little hard to explain =) I hope I was clear
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:iconfxuker:
Fxuker Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Professional General Artist
You were, thanks.
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:iconnocturn0wl:
Nocturn0wl Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I find that I'm much the same as you when it comes to showing anger. I try to be generally friendly and nice to everyone, even when they start getting on my nerves. If I ever feel angry, I stick the feeling somewhere people can't see it (unless those people know me really, really well) until I can find somewhere to let it out that's out of sight from other people. Usually, that's in my room with the door shut. But yeah. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can relate.

What I've found is that letting people know when I'm irritated helps me get angry a lot less often. Showing irritation is a lot calmer than showing anger, so it helps prevent situations from escalating but still allows you to show your feelings. And, I've found that if people can clue in to the fact that you're irritated (which they usually will unless they're dense), they'll usually sort of back off and let you be before you can't tolerate them anymore and actually get mad at them. But anyway, as a general rule, letting people know that you're irritated is a good middle ground between getting angry and being completely passive.
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
It is nice to not be alone about it =)
I usually practice a little boxing on tyres when people is not around hehe.

The problem is that I have trouble even showing irritation. But I shall learn...
The middle ground is the best I think. You need to set borders without going psycho.
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:iconnocturn0wl:
Nocturn0wl Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Nice :) Whatever helps you let it out. I usually end up walloping my mattress/a pillow once or twice really good, or just sitting at my desk thinking murderous thoughts to myself. :P

When it comes to showing irritation, I tend to let the expression on my face do most of the talking. My irritated face (if you want to call it that) starts as a flat, unsmiling look of "I have no emotions right now". If I'm more than mildly annoyed, my lips and the muscles around my mouth tend to tense up a little, I think in effect pursing them somewhat. And, if it gets even worse, I start to scowl a little. And then I glower at people.

Other than that, I usually just start speaking in shorter sentences. And I start to care less about rubbing people the wrong way when I talk, so I'm much more likely to be painfully frank about saying stuff that needs to be said. :shrug: Though really, when it comes to you showing your irritation, go with what works for and feels most natural to you.
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I am poker faced slightly smiling all the time. there was a guy at work who asked me why I was the only one always in a good mood. That was I realized I was doing it.

I don't know if you have seen the anime monster? But there is a character in there who is constantly smiling no mater what he feel inside. It is a rather good anime btw.
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:iconnocturn0wl:
Nocturn0wl Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm sure you'll find your own way to express yourself. Which is really what's most important. :)

I haven't ever heard of that anime. I'll have to look into it sometime. Out of curiosity, what's the premise? I just might look into it sometime. :D
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
A doctor saves a boys life but on the cost of ruining his career. 10 years later it turn out the boy is a manipulative psychopath killer. The doctor feels responsible since he saved his life and decides to find the boy and bring him to justice.
But the boy frames the doctor for murder by killing all the doctors enemies making a very persistent police officer dedicate all his efforts to catch the doctor.

The story is quite complex and very good. Without all the hysterical Japanese humor.

The villain has the same first name as me to =)
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:iconnocturn0wl:
Nocturn0wl Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ooh, sounds dark. And I like twisty plots, so that's a bonus. I'll definitely check it out sometime. :) Thanks!
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
It is quite dark, I could only about 5 episodes at a time because it got me a little down. But i always returned because I needed to know what would happen. The plot is deep and complex. The characters are as well.
And the viallain is really good, it is someone you love and hate at the same time.
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:iconenuocale:
EnuoCale Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Find alternative ways to not get walked over that don;t rely on being angry.
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:iconelyssea:
Elyssea Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Not everyone is going to respect you.. that's just how it is but that's ok. :love: If you ever get so mad you don't know what to do tell the person or go talk to someone about! If you want to vent to me go for it. :)
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks a lot, as I wrote in reply to the other post. What bugs me is when somone is trying to boss you around without earning the trust or respect a boss should have.

If a boss is someone I respect I have no problem with orders. But when a co-worker is trying to act like a boss without earning any respect I just get pissed of.
But never the less I did the chores....

But I did get to have fun yelling at people in the gym today ( I work as a box instructor)
That is probably the best job you can have if you need a good shouting. People actually thank you for yelling at them =)
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:iconelyssea:
Elyssea Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I can understand that completely. I had that issue at my old bakery. :(
Haha, that's wonderful! I wish people would tank me for yelling t them!!
What's a box instructor though?!
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I am working at a gym and we have a class where people train boxing in pairs.
It is not traditional boxing but a mix of MMA and gym group training.
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:iconelyssea:
Elyssea Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
That's pretty rad.:D
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Violence and fun packed in to one!
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:iconrokte:
Rokte Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student General Artist
No need to waste your emotion and anger on those who have no respect for you. Rather, litte sense in trying to earn the respect of those of whom you are already so much better my dear.
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
The thing that bugs me is being looked down upon. I am a humble person and treats everyone with respect. What annoys me is when people reads this as weakness and gets all bossy and rude.

The thing that pissed me of yesterday was a guy at work who has been gone for 1,5 years and now came back and acts like he is the boss of the whole building. He is not though, he is just a guy who worked there for a long time. I respect his knowligability (excuse my bad spelling) and experience. But that does not make him my boss.
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:iconrokte:
Rokte Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Student General Artist
And it is something that he needs to be told. Of course, this doesn't have to be done in a stuck up way or in a way that is against your natural character, but despite someones overbearing rudeness, especially a colleague who is overly bossy, you can speak volumes by how you react to their pestilence. (What I am trying to suggest is not to succumb to their power struggle, yet maintain a cool demeanor.)

Your humbleness is a rare strength...you will always encounter people who want to walk all over you...but perhaps its because they wish so badly they had just a fraction of the character you have...(Im sorry if that sounds corny,but its how I really feel about the situation...)
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for your words. I think I will be cool about it. But that can turn in to passive aggressiveness and that is not much better. But I will take a calm discussion with him later then.
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:iconsatoshi444:
Satoshi444 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student General Artist
Maybe that isn't such a bad thing. Most people has anger inside them, and "almost" all of them want to get rid of that anger away and replace them with patience and good behavior, one of those people is me. For example, my Mother teased and look down on me so many times, she's also selfish, which makes me really pissed off so many times every time I see her, even mention her name in my brain. Anger leave us uncontrollable. Even the most respected person can be a juvenile when they throw a tantrum over something trivial as being teased (been through hard thing, being teased is an easy matter to me now). You really should reconsider to what you have. Patience is just what most people with natural thoughts after for. Correct me if I'm wrong...
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I have a person like that in my life to. But it is the only person I can say anything I like to. And after we are friends again. it is good to have someone you can tell to go to hell, and get it back and then be friends again =)
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