A perfectionist attitude will yield you much pain and sorrow. I won't tell you to change that, because it is likely part of who you are. My only advice is to embrace the negativity you experience and use it to thrust you forward. There isn't much difference between negative and positive energy, its just the way we let it affect our emotions, and thus, our actions.
....i'm sorry if I make absolutely no sense by the way.........
I don't think you sound like a drama queen. I think you sound like you have a problem you don't know how to handle. I can relate.
Heres what I think, take it or leave it... It seems to me that art comes in cycles, sometimes you feel like drawing, painting, ect., sometimes not. You have to work with what the situation presents. It may not work for you, but whenever these anxious thoughts come to me and I have my wits I tell those thoughts to go to hell. The thoughts that tell you you can't, you aren't and you should are not your friends. They are ever present traps to rob you of your enjoyment of life. I looked at your gallery and I like your work, I don't think your aiming too high.. I think you may be being a little unrealistic about getting to the ideal of professional artist though. It seems like you want to excel and don't know how to get to a point of excellence, which is always frustrating for me when I deal with it. But you have to keep in mind the sacrifice the artists who are excellent have made to get to the point of being professionals. A great portion of their lives is spent perfecting their trade.
I have this complex about art that makes it an obligation and a chore. If it were like this all the time I would absolutely HATE drawing. But, because I love the process of drawing and love some of the things I have drawn it's joyous.
The biggest and most common beginners run into is trying to be perfect. Masters of their arts are not perfect themselves. Only to the untrained eye do their works seem perfect. What you shouldn't do is try to go straight into drawing, because then you run into the problem you're having now where you're not confident that you can do it exactly as it is in your mind, you give up on it. What you should do is step back and practice rough sketching. Sketching is where you really begin to hone your skills and artist's eye. Simply sketch things around you. People, places, and objects. Study light and shadow, composition, and perspectives. Don't think you need to be doing finalized drawings. You can do those, and do them much better, once you sketch your ideas first. In time you may not even need to sketch in order to start a drawing exactly as you envision it, but you need to go through rigorous practice for a long time before you get to that level.
Don't worry about wasting your time sketching simple things, because there's a kind of beauty to sketches themselves and seeing your own progression over time can give you more confidence. It's okay if you sketch the same stuff over and over too. The point of practice is to train yourself to draw things flawlessly, so drawing the same things over and over just makes you better and better at it. What you should do though is try to branch out every now and then. What we did in my college sketching course was sit outside a Panera Bread and draw whatever we saw on the streets. We'd spend 5 minutes on each sketch being really loose and not focused on details, then move to another spot and draw something else: [link][link][link]
What I would suggest is taking a local college workshop course on drawing. They're usually over the course of a weekend and sometimes even free. Just being in an environment surrounded by other artists will be encouraging. It'll also get you away from the computer. And having an instructor to give you specific drawing tasks and being there to give you pointers will help a lot more than looking at online tutorials. Maybe try to make some friends while you're there too.
"Perfectionism" is just your lacking self confidence and anxiety getting the better of you. In art "perfect" doesn't exist because regardless of how skilled and experienced you are it can ALWAYS get better (seriously, there are people at Dreamworks and Disney who feel exactly like you do at times). I think you should feel proud about finishing instead, if you finish and maybe it didn't turn out so good it's literally no deal. You can make more drawings! If you don't draw anything on the other hand it can NEVER be good since it doesn't exist yet!
On variety. Look at clothing. Pinterest has a TON of fashion folk on it, just surf the tags for a spell and see what interests you. Deliberately try something new instead of leaving it to chance. Don't be afraid because you don't know how to draw something. You won't learn by ignoring it so you might as well.
Mistakes in drawing does NOT mean failure as a person. Separate the craft from yourself and you'll feel better.
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More