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November 26, 2012
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Need Advice for Situation with Friends

:iconcreativegirl91:
Creativegirl91 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello All,

I have two best friends who have been with me now for a long time. My one guy friend Alex for 7 almost 8 years and my gal pal Heather for 8 almost 9 years. My situation is that recently this summer while celebrating my best friend Alex's 21st birthday he disclosed with me some new and surprising information about our friend Heather (she was not at the party, she was on a mission trip in Africa). He told me that our best friend Heather, the most Christian, holy like, innocent girl on the planet, lost her virginity at a party before she left for Africa. I was and still am stunned by this information, I was told by Alex not to say anything to Heather that I knew so of course I haven't said anything.

It's not that I don't believe Alex but I'm not sure what to make of it. Heather still claims that she is a virgin. I know this because this past weekend she was telling me how she and her college friend who is getting married soon are still virgins. So does this mean that Heather is lying to my face about the whole thing? I mean I'm fine if she did have sex that's not what bothers me, what bothers me is the fact that she didn't tell me like she told Alex and that she is lying to my face. I love both Alex and Heather we have been through a lot together I just want to be able to get past this with some kind of resolution.

Is there any way for this elephant in the room to go away without me screwing anything up? I've tried not to think about it but when ever I get a chance to see Heather the thought just creeps up again. I don't know y'all, help me please.

Thanks,

Creativegirl91
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Devious Comments

:iconkizziesama:
Kizziesama Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
I'm not even seeing what the issue is. One of them is lying, clearly, but the topic... does it even matter? :O
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:iconflicher:
Flicher Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You should appear disinterested next time. People will tell you what you need to know in good time.
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:iconraismash:
raiSMASH Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
I think she's lying about it to you/not bringing it up because she thinks you'll be mad or upset. She's probably worried you'll be disappointed in her and she's nervous and doesn't want to deal with that. Sooo... I think you should just forget about it and when the time comes she'll probably tell you and if not, well... we all have our secrets. Don't let it bother you. I know that's easier said than done, but she probably feels guilty about it just as much as you feel betrayed for her not telling you.
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:iconcreativegirl91:
Creativegirl91 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you honey bear... ^o^ I love you!!!
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:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
Ignore the whole thing.
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:iconcreativegirl91:
Creativegirl91 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well said, thank you :)
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:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
:bow:
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:iconlightning-13:
lightning-13 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hmm, do you 3 tell everything to each other? I mean, maybe there is a reason for why she didn't tell you? and not telling you isn't exactly 'lying', if she twisted the truth, then she would be lying. If she still tells you she is a virgin, maybe in that case too, there is a reason for it. There is no way to know who is lying, maybe Alex is lying, how can you be sure? Maybe he is just joking about it?
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:iconcreativegirl91:
Creativegirl91 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I am honestly not sure if Alex is telling the truth or not. Like I said he has a very good poker face so it is hard for me to tell. He was serious when he told me about it and when I was in denial about it at first he came back at me and was like I'm not joking this really did happen. And I know I tell them everything, and they in turn have told me a lot of their personal things as well.
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:iconshadee:
shadee Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Who she confides in when it comes to very personal issues is her choice. You can be the best friends ever, yet sometimes, some things might seem more appropriate to discuss with someone else instead.

Alex on the other hand, is a lousy friend if he passed on something which was told to him in confidence. Who knows what his source was even, maybe she wasn't the one who told him, maybe it was the person she was with. Or maybe it didn't happen at all, maybe he's lying. In any case, the fact that he blabbed about something sensitive like that at all, made up or not, makes him seem rather questionable to me.

I would put it out of my mind entirely. It's her personal thing and who she does and doesn't feel too embarrassed to share it with shouldn't have any impact on your friendship if you respect her privacy. If she wants to talk to you about it, she will, if she doesn't, she doesn't have to. As for him, I would keep an eye on him and I certainly wouldn't trust him with anything private ever again.
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