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November 26, 2012
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An unstable ex-friend who is obsessed with me ?

:iconowlity:
owlity Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
Hey guys, I was hoping you could help me out with a problem that my friend and I have been facing?

At the very end of July this year, I lost a friend because he was talking trash about my best friend to her MOM, of all people. I chose my best friend over him, of course, because some of the things that he had been saying were very nasty, not to mention, that he was putting himself on a pedestal and making himself look good. My friend is overweight, and he was complaining about how slow she was, how her arms hang down, and saying that she will never find someone; he went on and on and on...

Since then, he's been obsessed, according to my coworkers who have been telling me what HE has shown them. He has a flash drive of emails, pictures, texts, etc. of our conversations, but they are mostly of ME. He is bringing the problems to work (because we work together), and the head chef isn't taking this seriously. He is a very unstable individual and has told the chef about "taking things to the level" whatever that means. He won't give up, despite us telling him MANY times that we don't want to be his friend. He just doesn't understand whatsoever and he won't take no for an answer! He's written my best friend letters, tried calling her, the whole deal. He has lost MANY friends, probably because of what he has done to other people. He can't keep a stable relationship.

He only works 3 days a week, and not the days that I work on, but my other boss is trying to turn the schedule around for me in my favor.

He has a dA account, and he is always stalking my page every single day, even several times a day, though there isn't much I can do about that. I blocked him so he can't contact me anymore, but I still don't feel comfortable having him on my page.

Sorry for the wall of text, but what would you do in my situation? :( It's really creeping myself and my coworkers out.
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:iconpuppy-dangerous:
puppy-dangerous Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
That's stalking. It's not serious now, but talking about the 'next level' sounds really ominous. I'd interpret that as actually physically stalking and/or harassing you and your friends. This needs to be ended as soon as possible.

Alright, I've been in this situation before. I had a super creepy guy stalking me for almost two years. He used to call me and tell me he was standing in my front yard (luckily he wasn't, but still).

That situation resolved itself when I got married. Probably not the rout for you.

I'd suggest going to the police in this case. They may not see this as serious enough at the moment to intervene, but making them aware of it will really help if he DOES start to escalate. Go get it on record that this guy is doing these things, so if they get called later or if it goes to court you have some context. He won't be able to get out of it if you have an official record that he's doing this stuff.

As for the emails and stuff, I don't know that there's really all that much you can actually do. Even if you do get them taken away from him somehow, that doesn't mean he didn't have copies stashed somewhere.

Concerning the account here, unless he's actually harassing you there isn't much anybody will do. If he is actually harassing you, he can be banned. I would suggest talking about this with a dA admin, though.
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:iconowlity:
owlity Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
Yikes, you've been through this too, huh?

Yeah, it's not like he's creating alternate accounts to harass me, but he DID create an alternate account pretending to be some girl from the UK and he tried to start up a conversation with me. I knew it was him because of the way that he writes, all of his favorites were the same, AND when he visited me, he came up as my city in my maps, so I knew that it was him. I blocked that account, too.

Thanks for the advice. If this continues for another month or two, I will probably have to file a police report.
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:icontoshiro12:
toshiro12 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
if things get out of control contact the police.
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:iconowlity:
owlity Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
That's what I'll do. I'll need a lot of evidence, though. :/
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:icontoshiro12:
toshiro12 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
you could get your fellow workers to testify and also tell the police about the flash drive with all that stalker stuff on it.
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:iconowlity:
owlity Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
That's true, because I literally have dozens of coworkers and friends that know about what happened and what he has told them. Granted, I'm sure he hasn't told them the whole story, either, but they can testify.
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:icontoshiro12:
toshiro12 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Glad to hear!!! good luck on ur case!
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:icondorkface4:
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
Tell him directly "I do not want to be your friend. Ever."
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:iconowlity:
owlity Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
I already did. He doesn't want to take "no" for an answer.
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:icondorkface4:
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
I knew a guy like that. I'd suggest trying to find a new job, cut him out of your life completely and have absolutely no contact with him.
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