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November 26, 2012
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:iconb1ackskies:
b1ackskies Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
So yeah I was pretty much raped 2 days ago. I met this guy at a place that sells bubblers/hookah pipes/etc and I just came in to check out the prices on their hookah pipes. He was the only employee there and he started talking to me immediately. we hit it off fast and he is also an artist so we started talking about art. We stood there talking for about an hour and I thought he was really cool. We exchanged numbers.

Later he texts me, asking "Are you single?" I don't want to date anyone right now but I told him the truth which was yes.

so he decides to ask me out to chill at his place later than night. I dress up a bit in a shirt that shows off some cleavage. didn't think it was a big deal. I normally won't go to an unfamiliar guy's house alone but he's around my age and I'm pretty lonely these days because people in PA don't like leaving their houses or hanging out. I also trust my own judgement. So I went. Turns out he's a huge stoner (no surprise) There's 2 of his other male friends there and they're cool. We're passing a bong around and taking hits. In 10 minutes I'm very "intoxicated." he also gave me a bit of hash which was my first time doing it so I was woozy.

His friends leave. So now we're alone and just talking. Soon he's got his arm around me and we're cuddling. This is fine. This I don't really mind. I'm trying to focus on the movie but i don't know what the hell it's about. He spends a few minutes talking about being in the army, being in california, working at the shop, and whatever else. He decides it's more comfortable to lie down with me laying ontop of him. This I don't really mind either.

I'm not sure what happened in between this but soon he's kissing me. I very quickly become uncomfortable. I don't like the way he kisses. Feels wrong for some reason. But I try to enjoy it despite the nagging in the back of my head. Soon he's feeling me up. I tell him stop, I don't want to have sex. He laughs and says for me to calm down that that's not going to happen.

So he begins touching me more despite promising we're not going to have sex. I'm stoned but still very uncomfortable. When he puts his hand on my breasts or on my ass I pull it off, not with much force because I'm high, and I kept saying "we shouldn't do this" but he continues. Skipping ahead. I keep telling him to stop things keep going further... and yeah. Use your imagination.

After it was done I high tailed it out of there and went to work, which he made me late for because he wouldn't fucking stop when i asked. I was a lot more sobered up at this point.


I'm not sure how to feel? I feel like this whole thing is my fault but I'm also flamingly pissed at this guy. I told him how I felt about what happened and he said he was very very sorry. IDk. I feel so cheap. And like I don't want to be around guys for a long ass time. o_o
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Devious Comments

:iconkatara-alchemist:
Katara-Alchemist Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Student General Artist
:lock: Locked by user request.
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:iconzombie-goldfish:
zombie-goldfish Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I do understand what would have been going though your mind at the time, having been in a similar (but not as serious) situation myself years ago.
Hopefully you've learned from this mistake and it doesn't happen again.
Maybe you could speak to a counselor and find out if there is any action you can safely take about this?
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:iconfalconstrife86:
falconstrife86 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
I'm sorry, but this reads like a teenager's badly written angst story.

1) You met a guy who you seemed to like and made a point of sexualizing yourself for his sake.
2) Despite barely knowing him you willingly did drugs with him with no concern for your wellbeing.
3) You claim that you said no, and yet you continued to participate in precursor sexual activity, including mounting him.
4) You had the presence of mind to think his kissing sucked and worry more about work than your wellbeing, as well as was physically capable of putting a stop to it, and yet you still imply that you actively participated.
5) Rather than seeking out a community/group focused on support for victims, you chose a forum that you knew would spark controversy and drama.

I'm calling bullshit on the rape claim. Based on all of your posts, I'm guessing you're either mad because he sucked or you made the entire story up to fill some sick desire to be the centre of a dramafest.
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:iconb1ackskies:
b1ackskies Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
It's funny because if this was a lie which I wish it was, I would have made it much more convincing and posted it on an anonymous account.
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:iconsheridan-j:
Sheridan-J Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Careful....the circle-jerk is strong in this thread...
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:iconsignsofortune:
signsofortune Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
dear deviantart:

Unhelpful much?
:iconfacepalmplz:

dear b1ackskies,
I am not an expert about rape, but here is a website which gives some advice which seems good to me.
[link]

also, I wish to apologize for the behavior of 50% of deviantart. :[ not cool. And I hope that you get through this ok.
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:iconoh-cherie-cherie:
Oh-Cherie-Cherie Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student General Artist
That's rape. I mean, it sounds like you've talked to him about it, and I honestly don't think reporting it would get you anywhere, because of the drugs and such.
Oh, man, that's hard. Do you want to get counseling, maybe?
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:iconmarx-man:
MARX-MAN Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Professional Artist
What a time to have no popcorn.

This thread is like a cluster-fuck of bad advice and foot-shooting.

I will keep this short.
  1. It's going to be hard to get a conviction if he pleads the 5th
  2. The drug use makes it even harder because it undermines your testimony to an extent.
  3. Consent is not an issue with drug involvement as consent cannot be given under the influence of drugs! (You were being raped even if you said yes.)
  4. The circumstances leading up to the suspected rape are pretty dire.
  5. Voluntary intoxication isn't a defence for assaulting somebody, let alone raping them.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear, a date-rape drug is any drug that loosens your inhibitions including hash and alcohol, in fact alcohol is the number 1 date rape drug as all sexual encounters under the influence of alcohol are actually rape, as highlighted in the earlier comment.

With that all said and out of the way.

I want you to think about this small chain of logic.

You were lonely, so you gave a guy who gave you a 'strong come on' some face time and got sexually assaulted, you then think that guys aren't worth your time, until you get lonely again...

Then what, repeat?

Make a change, find a guy you like and take things steady, it makes you less vulnerable to people like the guy you mentioned in your post and stops the cycle from repeating.
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:iconferricplushy:
FerricPlushy Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
This sounds really fake
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:iconfalconstrife86:
falconstrife86 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
Agreed, ~FerricPlushy.
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:iconb1ackskies:
b1ackskies Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
:lol:
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:iconferricplushy:
FerricPlushy Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I mean why make a point of the fact you were wearing a low cut top? This sounds like a controversial fiction about a girl that made every single poor choice imaginable and was raped. Guy you just met, go to his house where there are more men you don't know, you get extremely stoned and let him kiss and fondle you? This sounds like bs
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:iconb1ackskies:
b1ackskies Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Then I guess I'm a moron who deserved to get raped huh?
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:iconferricplushy:
FerricPlushy Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I think you're a liar who was never raped, my friend was raped and when she told me what happened she didn't use the phrase "kinda mad" and worried she would be late for work
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:iconoh-cherie-cherie:
Oh-Cherie-Cherie Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student General Artist
You're a bastard
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:iconferricplushy:
FerricPlushy Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
you realize many reports of rape are fake to avoid some kind of "trouble" the victim was in, I had a friend that was fucking raped numb nuts and her account didn't sound anything like this. Why don't you fucking learn something before you say anything
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:iconb1ackskies:
b1ackskies Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I really don't care what you believe. ._.
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:iconrrn-erosia:
RRN-Erosia Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's your attitude some people are concerned about. You don't even seem to care about yourself, let alone the situation. Rape isn't something to screw around with, I mean it doesn't even sound like you care that you were used by some strange guy. I'm wondering where your feelings are, because you say you are a victim to this horrible act. If you really don't care about either of those things then you shouldn't get upset over what anyone says to you. In fact most of the posts and responses I read, you only seem to care about those who tell you it's not your fault. And for those who are neutral, give logical advice to help you.. or say that it was a screw up on both parties, you couldn't give two shits less, pardon my language. I find it hard to trust what you've posted as true simply because nothing connects or makes sense, and I think some others feel that way also..it just didn't come out the right way.
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's not her fault. That's the whole reason for starting a thread like this. She needs to know, to be told by people that it's not her fault. She said in the OP that she felt like it was her fault, but later on she seems to get real pissed. That's a good thing. It means that she's not just letting it ruin her life like a pathetic whiny person. She's actually trying to move forward.

Everyone reacts different, and perhaps acting like she doesn't care, is a way of putting a wall between herself and the event. Eventually though she will have to face what she's afraid of (she said she didn't want to be around men for a long time) if she wants to truly heal.
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:iconb1ackskies:
b1ackskies Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
So what should I sit in a corner and cry like a bitch and be forever traumatized because of what happened? Would that make me sound more convincing? Well I'm not going to do that. Yeah I was taken advantage of and I'm pissed but I'm not going to let it destroy me. It's just sex. And it's not the first time men have taken advantage of me.

Everyone is giving me advice to go to the police, well I already stated I don't want to do that and I'm not going to do that, because I don't think it would make me feel better. Some other person told me to get revenge on him. I'm not going to do that either. I think he may have stopped if he wasn't under the influence of drugs but who knows. I didn't really come here to get advice on how to report him to the cops I just wanted to talk to people, feel like I'm not alone in this.

I have very mixed feelings about this situation. I do feel like I led him on majorly and I am to blame for the most part.

If people don't want to believe me that's fine but I'm not going to sit here and try to convince you it happened.
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(2 Replies)
:iconrrn-erosia:
RRN-Erosia Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think you're ready to close this post now.
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:iconhsherran:
hsherran Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
I'm sorry, but I find it very hard to sympathize with the recounting of events. Yes, he is a jerk for continuing to push the issue, but based on what you wrote you participated even though a) you knew you didn't want to, b) knowingly remained in a potentially dangerous situation, and c) were physically capable of putting a stop to it.

Please keep in mind that I in no way condone rape, assault or harrassment. As a rape survivor I have no tolerance for it, but the information you have presented sounds more like you made some bad decisions and now are trying to place more responsibility on him than is due.

In the end, the only people who know what all happened are you and him, so if you were actually forced into it, I apologize and empathize deeply. If it was a case of bad or lazy decision making and you consented, that doesn't excuse him for the sexual harrassment prior, and you should definitely be filing a complaint with the police for this. On the flip side, if you were actually forced to have sex, then you need to report it immediately. The more time that goes by, the less the authorities can do. There is no such thing as closure after someone has been wronged in such a terrible way, but speaking from experience, not reporting means it can and will eat away inside until either you implode or break.
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:iconwizardofunseen:
WizardOfUnseen Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You can report this to the police but you might also get into trouble for drug usage I feel sorry for you as someone I knew had been in a similar situation I could tell you to be more careful but I guess that would be useless now I am sorry you had to go through that :hug:
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:iconferricplushy:
FerricPlushy Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Unless you're doing drugs in front of cop you're not going to get in trouble. No one was ever arrested for "using" drugs, just possessing, transporting, distributing or making them.
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:iconwizardofunseen:
WizardOfUnseen Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I am not sure about how that works but if she is not getting in trouble for that then she should definitely go to the police
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Call the police.
No matter what you think they can help you.
And hey, even if they can't help YOU they can help the next girl he tries to rape?
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:iconemilyericson:
emilyericson Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Please don't listen to any of the people trying to criticize your decisions or make you feel any more ashamed for what happened to you. No low cut top, drug use, or anything else is EVER an excuse to violate someone.

I know what you are going through and I'm here if you need someone to talk to who won't judge you.
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:iconb1ackskies:
b1ackskies Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks, I may take you up on that.
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm also here if you need someone.
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:iconemilyericson:
emilyericson Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I hope you choose to talk to SOMEONE. Healing is a very hard thing to do on your own.
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:iconoh-cherie-cherie:
Oh-Cherie-Cherie Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student General Artist
^this
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:iconshogun3540:
shogun3540 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Professional Artist
so.........so you went to a drug dealers house alone, wore a skimpy shirt that shows
off your cleavage then smoked hash with him, and the worst thing is he made you late
for work........




..............you're a fuckin idiot! he didn't rape you! You paid him! HE'S A FUCKING DRUG DEALER!
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:iconanaliasunknown:
AnAliasUnknown Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
Can't tell if trolling or not.
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Honestly? If you can't muster up any sympathy, get the hell out of here.
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:iconb1ackskies:
b1ackskies Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
He's not a drug dealer you idiot :lol:
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:iconshogun3540:
shogun3540 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Professional Artist
he sells hash and hash related products
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:iconb1ackskies:
b1ackskies Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
are you mentally retarded?
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:iconshogun3540:
shogun3540 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Professional Artist
no, i just know not to spend time with people who are on drugs or sell drugs
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay so no talk of getting back at him (although I strongly feel that you should), or the fact that yes it was dumb to do drugs with someone you didn't know.

What I want to know now is:

How are you doing?

From the OP you sound like you blamed yourself, but it seems like you don't feel that way anymore.

Is this true?
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:iconilovebigcats:
ILoveBigCats Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Doesn't matter that you gave him your number, went to his house, smoked whatever, let him kiss you. You said no to sex, he did it anyway, and that's called rape. Get the police involved before he does it to someone else.
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:iconlady-crusaderkira:
Lady-CrusaderKira Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
^^^All the awards.
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:iconilovebigcats:
ILoveBigCats Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:#1:
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:iconlady-crusaderkira:
Lady-CrusaderKira Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:glomp::tighthug:
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:iconfuyuko7:
Fuyuko7 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Why did you give him your number?
You trusted him waaaay to fast.

I would of left him straight away if I received a "Are you single?" text.....
it shows he's only interested in you in a intimate way....without getting to know you properly.


Don't forgive him.....why is he apologizing when you actually TOLD him to STOP?
Was he like deaf or something?

Just leave him, and don't talk to him :no:
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:iconb1ackskies:
b1ackskies Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Because a guy is interested in dating me it means i shouldn't talk to him? :shrug: That's kind of silly. A lot of guys are interested in dating me.
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:iconfuyuko7:
Fuyuko7 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
:shrug:
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Just leave and don't talk to him?

That's all well and good, but first she has to get him back, and make sure he never hurts another woman again. I've already suggested tazing him and then carving the words: I AM A RAPIST on his chest and stomach with a razor blade.

Then she can leave a hallmark card with a little message reading "You're my bitch now" inside.
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:iconfuyuko7:
Fuyuko7 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
nice plan :thumbsup:
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Did you ever see the American version of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo?

Lisbeth ties her rapist up, rams a dildo up his ass, and then tattoos the words: I AM A RAPIST PIG on his front, so that he can't do it again.

I think anyone who has been raped should watch the revenge scenes in TGWTDT to feel a sense of power.
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:iconfuyuko7:
Fuyuko7 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
never seen or heard of that
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