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November 25, 2012
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Replies: 11

How to ask her out?

:iconaroura121:
aroura121 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
Hey guys, I really need help with this girl I like and I'm too embarassed to ask any of my friends.
I'm 18 and in my first year of college and I've never been in a relationship before. I met this girl at the beginning of the semester, and we've been close friends ever since, we hang out in the same group and do the same extracurriculars etcetera. Were both bisexual girls (well, she calls herself pan, but same difference in this situation). I've liked her really since I met her and basically all our interactions have been at the surface a little more than just friendly, but I never had the guts to tell her how I felt.

Flash forward to last week, we were at a small party, and this guy (a mutual friend) who's been cozying up to her recently was really drunk and started getting really close (pulling her onto his lap, rubbing her legs, kissing her cheek). I was of course insanely jealous. When another girl asked her later what she thought about him, she said 'it depends what he meant by it'.
I decided the next day I was gonna tell her how i felt- I felt that the two of them getting together was imminent and I would never forgive myself if I didnt get my say. I wouldnt be able to get over her until she rejected me. So I stammered out something really stupid about how I "like like her" (as if i was in middle school, oh my god) and then she said she liked me back and hugged me. And that was it. We have not mentioned it to each other since. I'm dying here.

I want to ask her out, but I have no idea how to go about doing so. With no relationship experience, all I have to go on are chick flicks- in real life, is it just as easy as saying "want to go see a movie with me?" or "wanna get something to eat off campus?" How do I tell her I mean it as a date, not just as friends? Should I pay for her, or is that weird because we're both girls? Should I try to hold her hand? What if he's already asked her out?

I'm not sure if anyone here has had similar problems, but if you did, please advise me!
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Devious Comments

:iconaroura121:
aroura121 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
Thank you for your help guys! I went for it and she said yes, and suggested a movie.
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:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
Or something... :flirty:
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:iconjust-call-me-c:
just-call-me-C Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I like the restaurant idea that, *Aret suggested and I would take her someplace that either she has never been or to a place that both of you have never been to. it will make the experience special because it'll be a place that when she sees she'll think of you. if by this point she hasn't really said anything much ask her what she thinks about you. (if you want to be bold).
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:iconjulieanne714226:
julieanne714226 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student General Artist
it is very very simple, ask "will you go out with me" that's it. push the words out or do what my bf did and type it on ur phone, or u can write it in a note. a note is cute and you can doodle on it if u want but just ask. people ask me "how do i ask her?" all the time this works best
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:iconjulieanne714226:
julieanne714226 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student General Artist
and if you are worried about the guy go ahead and just say it, poor your heart out girl. lol she is most likely to say yes but that small chance of the no will bother you more then if u stay wondering
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:iconlbthecc:
LBtheCC Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been in an awkward situation like that. (Not exactly but similar.) If she's already considering the other guy, you're setting yourself up for failure. In all likelihood she already knows your feelings but knows you'll wait around with your insecurities. Meanwhile she'll explore. Sure is convenient that you wait until she's less available to make your move eh?

My advice? Make your moves quicker next time. Straight up ask for a date, and don't wait around for someone else to pick up your prize.

In my situation, I, like you, waited until my crush met someone else who he hit it off with. Then I let him know my feelings. And surprise! The other girl won. They're married now. Kids, house, the like. I wish them the best of luck and all that, but it sure was embarrassing having the "I have feelings for you" conversation when it was obvious he was comparing us. And the friendship never recovered after I invested all those emotions into the crush. Que sera.

There's a chance you'll win. Most likely I'd say not. If you were anything other than the comfy familiar Plan B, you two would be dating already. Most likely she'll continue with the dude if she likes him, and then afterwards look to you for comfort if/when they break up. And you'll be there, won't you? She knows that too, trust me.

Granted, at this point you can do two things. Ask her out and hope for the best, with the idea that at least she knows and the sooner you can start getting over, the better. Or, you can wait to see what happens with dude then make your move after. But one way or the other, don't invest more emotion into it than you have to. It only creates drama.
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:iconcatapultedcarcass:
CatapultedCarcass Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You need to vocalise your intentions, because expecting her to be a mind-reader won't get you anywhere.
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:iconaret:
Aret Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No movies. You want somewhere you can talk to her. The best thing to do is just say, "hey, wanna go out on a date this weekend?" or whatever. Call it a date when you ask her out. Have a plan in mind too, like pick a restraunt and ask her to dinner there or something.
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:iconnightshade255:
Nightshade255 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
add "or something" at the end when you ask her out. Thats code for "I want to be inside you"
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:iconspookyink:
SpookyInk Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012   Traditional Artist
Oh man...or something is a phrase I use everyday..I'm..I'm a whore!
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