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November 25, 2012
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I think I might be love sick O.o help??

:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I also think I might be a little crazy ^^; I've been dating my boyfriend for only 2 months and we're already talking about getting married o.o I'm 25 and he is 23 so... it isn't like we're too young but I know that it is crazy mostly because of all those things where they said the first 3 months or something is like that honeymoon period but I think I've also read that after 6 months you SHOULD know if you want to marry that person?? To make it sound a little less crazy... my parents only knew each other 3 months before they got married... and they've been married for 26 years! And they also got married older... I think they were 30 and 29 or something

The thing that freaks me out the most is that... I really do know that I want to marry him DX like... I have always thought 'he's the one for me' with other guys but this time it is more like 'where have you been? finally, I've found you'... things will definitely be difficult for us... he is Muslim and I am, for a better word, Christian but I don't practice any religion really... it is important to him so he wants to stay Muslim which is fine to me and he says I don't have to convert but his family wants me to... pressure? XD;;;

Anyways... I just wanted some opinions and help with other love stories... I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this way but I know that with divorce and people jumping from person to person it may be a little more rare... I am definitely old fashioned with thinking the true love is real sorta deal :blushes: so yeah, any help is appreciated ^O^ thanks!
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Devious Comments

:iconlbthecc:
LBtheCC Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ask yourself why you love him. Then ask yourself why he loves you. If it's silly then don't marry. If he's actually marriagable material, someone you can depend on and trust in the long term, someone you have something in common with beyond "OMG we love Angry Birds" (as an example), then good. If it's just cuz he makes you all hot and tingly, that fades.
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I seem to love him for everything but to give some specific examples- he's seen me sick... like, flu-symptoms sick and called me beautiful; he also has told me that if anything were to happen to me, like if I lost a hand or leg or was disfigured that it wouldn't matter because he loves what I am on the inside most; he told me he acts like an idiot in front of me and while this would make him uncomfortable around other people, he feels natural doing it in front of me :D and so on >.>; I feel the same about him, I've pictured us married, our home life, life with kids and I haven't done that since I was a kid :B thanks for your feedback ^O^
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:iconjulieanne714226:
julieanne714226 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student General Artist
i am in love 2. if u feel he is the one then don't worry and run with it. my relationship seemed it could break from pressure but every time i am in his arms i know that's where i belong and i will fight to be there if needed. do not convert religions! he loves you for who you are and will be fine and glad that you choose to stay that way. putting a title on beliefs doesn't truly change what you believe anyway. love will make your brain panic. its also normal to have those thoughts so soon, i did within weeks of falling in love.
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
hehe good for you ;) man love really does make people idiots, eh? XDD we have had some struggles and done well so far :nod: this is true... I just want to support him :heart: thanks for your feedback! :D :hug:
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:iconjulieanne714226:
julieanne714226 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student General Artist
np im always happy to help
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:iconjulieanne714226:
julieanne714226 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student General Artist
you will know when you are ready to marry and don't let religion control anything
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:iconkemcar:
kemcar Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
I don't think it good to jump to any conclusion in such a small period of time. I would advice you to be in a relationship for at least a couple of years so that you don't regret later. And the conversion thing, let me put this straight you will be very disturbed when you actually face it, it may seem fine now, you will be made to change your entire lifestyle, the way you dress up, talk, eat, and every other thing, so do be wise in your decisions.
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:iconjeweledscarab:
JeweledScarab Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Puppy love doesn't usually wear off until 2 years into a relationship (on average). Getting married while you're high on love chemicals is usually a bad idea. But, it's your life so it's up to you what to decide.
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:iconself-epidemic:
Self-Epidemic Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Dude, stop worrying. As long as there is no pressure to rush into anything, because you're old enough to realise that getting married after 3 months is probably not going to be the best idea, but, you're happy. Stop doubting that, relax, enjoy it, smile. The rest will come in time.
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
XD thank you... I suppose I'm just impatient... it's something I've always wanted, to be with someone and share things forever x3 I'm so old fashioned :blushes:
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:icontheaatherea:
TheaAtherea Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012   General Artist
Honestly, I think for a lot of people the entire first year is a honeymoon phase. You haven't yet had time to discover all of each other's flaws and annoying quirks/habits. Love isn't about finding someone who is perfect, or even "perfect for you." It's about finding out just how messed up they are and being able to love them anyway.

Try living together for a while before seriously talking about getting married. You never truly know someone until you've shared a home with them, become integrated into each other's weird families, had to wait for them to finish shitting before you can use the now-smelly bathroom, bickered over what to do/eat that night, or had that one big disagreement that would tear a less solid relationship apart.

I'm not going to lie, my boyfriend and I were talking about marriage and the future within the first month of our relationship. However, we had been casual friends since high school and we're 24/25 now. We had also both been in long-term (5+ years) relationships with other people, so we had a better grasp on what real love is, what is just infatuation, and what it's like to stay with someone simply because you don't want to be alone. It takes time and experience to know what genuine, long-term love feels like. A few months isn't long enough, in my opinion. You might get lucky and it will work out, but I feel like getting married after such a short time is a monumental risk to take with someone you only think you know.
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
this is true... and maybe I'm a strange person but annoying quirks/habits really don't bother me that much... and there are things about him that are not perfect and me too and we have worked through those already and we just love each other even more...

hmm as I mentioned to someone else, I'm not entirely sure we can live together... because of his religion, I'm not sure if it is forbidden or just frowned upon :shrug: I'll have to clarify... though we have mentioned it so maybe we could... hahahahaha well phrased XD this is also true, it's something I've been thinking about and of course I can only guess how I would react to these things but so far none of it has bothered my mind :B

this was one of the reasons of my concerns of posting because I've never really been in a long-term relationship- I've always wanted to be but all the guys I dated... well, after getting to know THEM I could tell they were not serious about me, and I've always been that person who wanted a serious committed relationship but hadn't found a guy who wanted that and now I have so... yes, I considered this too... I've been prone to infatuation and have been probing my feelings a lot and for a while I was alone and thought that I could be alone and not worry about it, to be a strong and independent woman lol and then of course, that's when I met him, when I wasn't thinking of meeting anyone XD;;;

I understand what you're saying :nod: I will still be thinking about it, I really appreciate the long thought out comment/feedback :heart: thanks! :)
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:icontheaatherea:
TheaAtherea Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012   General Artist
The relationship I had before I got together with my boyfriend now was my first. I moved in with him after a 1 1/2 year long-distance relationship and discovered that I honestly couldn't stand a lot of the things he did. We were in no way compatible, but I didn't find that out until I moved away from all of my friends and family to be with him. It was pretty much like being married to him; I was stuck with him because I had no where else to go and we both ended up being miserable.

I know that certain religious beliefs are against sex before marriage or living together before marriage, which is something that depresses me. You can never really know the person you're with until you experience those things. They are an important part of finding out if a relationship will work in the long run.

Many, many different factors go into having a healthy, happy relationship, and a lot of people make the mistake of overlooking those factors before they make what is supposed to be a life-long commitment. I believe the divorce rate is as high as it is because people don't know each other well enough before vowing eternal love. I also believe that is why so many people cheat -- because they didn't know what they wanted beforehand, or whether their spouse could fill those needs.
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yeah... that happened to a friend of mine ^^; but you never know unless you try so I certainly want to try living together if it's possible ;.; like I said, or I think I said, it may just be frowned upon so maybe I can try and explain this to him to understand why it's important to me... yeah, certain things like chemistry are real, you will feel it or not XDD well, that and I think some people just don't want to work things out :shrug: if even a little problem occurs I feel like people will just avoid it until things fester out of control ^^; this is why I've been thinking about it so seriously, because I want to make sure I know as many factors as possible before making that final decision >3<
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:icondoomblade2712:
Doomblade2712 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
If you didn't have doubts about the relationship then you wouldn't have put up the post, right? But in saying that, everyone are crazy and it's up to you to judge where you want to take this relationship, personally I think a thorough psychoanalysis of any person you interact with can be achieved anywhere from 3 months up to a year, there are differences, common ground, past standings and unexplored territory etc. that you have to look at. Yes he may be the perfect person as of now, but what if you throw in time and change, will he still be the same, will you? I believe in love too, maybe you have found the right person, we can only give you hints on what might be happening, so just take it one step at a time and if you want to marry him then I say go for it~
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yes I suppose so but everyone has doubts x3 I like getting feedback from people who don't know me because they can honestly give me things my friends may not want to tell me XDD I mean, it's scary for me, I want to make sure I'm not legit crazy :lol: I'm just like, shit if my feelings are this strong now, what will they be like in a year or more? waiting is hard for me... in certain situations... and my mom once told me we might have several people meant for us but it just depends who you meet first and other circumstances :lol: anyways... thanks for the feedback ^O^
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:iconaret:
Aret Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your feelings are this strong because it's the honeymoon period. In another year they'll be different. Not necessarily less strong, but different. Not so intense, more stable.

The first couple months of dating, I was nearly overwhelmed by how strong my feelings were. After two weeks, I was sure it was love. After 6 months passed, we both started to get nervous about it all. It was so intense, you know? Like I wanted to spend all my time with him and forget everything else. I knew I wanted to marry him, but I also knew that we both needed to be more comfortable with each other. It's so easy to get caught up in that honeymoon period and rush into things you aren't ready for. We made that mistake a couple times and it would have been so much worse if we were married at those times. We're married now though, and happy.

Obviously, you aren't me, and you're older than I was then. But at any age it's so easy to get caught up. It's just a good idea to give it a little time. You can get married whenever, but divorce is hell if you're too early.
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yes I figured that had something to do with it XD; stupid hormones :c mixing up my brain DX my brain has of course been asking me all the questions everyone else has been asking me... it is very scary for me, I've never been in such a serious relationship before ;.; but the scariest thing of all to me is if I lose him, I don't even want to think about it D: well, we've talked about that... I asked him if he had to wait to marry me if he would and he said he would x3 but I've never *seriously* considered marrying anyone before... I've pictured our wedding, honeymoon, life before kids and with kids >.< I haven't done this since I was 10... thank you for your feedback :heart:
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:iconmorthax:
Morthax Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Talk is one thing, doing it another. Anyway, why do you need reassurance from random people on the Internet? If you feel you want to get married, go for it. If you don't, don't. :shrug:
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
true... well, it's more like I want some opinions from people who have been through it and have gotten married... because a lot of my friends are not married ^^; and also the time thing :B I don't know if I'm being rash or not because it's not something I've experience before and I was wondering if others had...
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:iconsimplylemie:
SimplyLemie Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
If you're this sure now, then why would it hurt to marry until you've been together for a couple of years or so?

Do you live together yet? Because you'll have to figure out if you can live together before deciding whenever you can spend your lives together.
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not entirely sure we can live together before marriage because of his religion... we have spoken about it but he mentioned something about how it would be shameful to his family if we lived together before marrying :shrug: I talk to him about that every so often, trying to get more details... but maybe I'm a weird person because I think that I could live with him even with very bad habits :shrug: I know that I can't live without him, that part I can feel, if I don't see him I get sad... I mean, I'll do things and continue on with projects and what not but I always feel better when I see him >3<
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:iconbohobella:
bohobella Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Can't you just go on a vacation together or something? Even just spending a while together a couple towns over in a hotel will show you a taste of living together.
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm sure we could x3 I really want to try this actually XD he's so shy... thanks for your feedback ^O^
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:iconsimplylemie:
SimplyLemie Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
Just butting in:

Don't you think people act differently when being on a love-vacation than if living together? Sure, it would be better than nothing, but I'm not sure it would give a fair image of how it would be to live together full time.
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:iconbohobella:
bohobella Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
It's not the same. But it's a start, a small start. I think old religious family is a pretty bad excuse for not living together, to be honest.
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:iconsimplylemie:
SimplyLemie Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
My advice to anyone wanting to spend their lives with someone is to try it out. Sure, you might be able to live with each other habits... but do you want to go through a wedding and everything around just to realize that you can't stand each other after a month of living together? I mean - this might not happen, but a relationship changes a lot ones you move together. It's not all for the bad, and maybe none for the bad, but... things is different. I know people who have broken up over not cleaning the same way... I mean - it sounds silly, but it's those little things that you can't predict before you actually live on each other.

Religions... is often in the ways of things... sorry - just personal opinion since I can't stand religions.

But the thing is - it's year 2012. What ever religion he has it does sound way out dated not to be able to live with ones partner. And his family doesn't have a thing to say if the both of you wants to live together. Talk it out with them like grown ups and say that you want to do it your way (you/your like... the both of you... ^^;). If HE doesn't want to live with you before marriage, then I guess it's another problem, but if it is because of his family, then I think you should at least try to talk.

Though sure, you should probably wait a while too. Me and my boyfriend moved together after about 6 months, which was really early to me. It just happened to be summer and he had no reasons to get home to his parents every other day... and then after more or less living together for two months it seemed to be no reason for him to move out at all.
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I understand, as I mentioned to someone else, this happened to a friend of mine who moved in and living together didn't work for them D: yes, I do want to try living with him before, it would certainly ease my parents thinking but also mine- even though I feel so sure now, I want to be completely sure ;.; I'm a very laid back person, so not too much bothers me but he could be the opposite :shrug:

heh it's ok, I'm sorta the same way... I respect people for their beliefs but... it does seem to cause a lot of problems @.@ well, they do... it's part of their religion x.x he is the oldest son in his family so his parents have been pushing him to an arranged marriage but he doesn't want that but a lot of the time what his parents say he has to do... wahh in this situation I don't know what to tell him, when I tried explaining to him what I would do, about making a decision he says he can't do that ~.~;;;

I will attempt to talk to him about it again though, maybe I'm a complete push over but I like it better when everyone gets along x.x like, his parents first forbade us to be together so he almost left his home because of that... he has told me he would leave his family for me and it's sorta sweet but also horrible x.x I don't want him to resent me if he has to leave his family for me... and I hope that doesn't happen DX he did talk to them again so things are alright and his parents (at least his mom) accepts me now...

It will be 6 months for us in February... he has this ridiculous idea to get married on either of our birthdays ^^; and that is when his is which is why I've been thinking about it more... mine is November but it already went by and he said we could get married next November though I also have asked to move in with him, or at least mentioned it, nothing definite... in the summer time x3 I'll ask him again... ehehe thank you again for your help/advice :)
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:iconsimplylemie:
SimplyLemie Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
My boyfriend live with an ex some time before he met me. They lasted a month... she was quite... demanding when it came to house-work, from what I can gather, and then she kicked him out on the street (he moved back to his parents then).

Well, I don't think he should leave his family unless they have a bad connection from the start. I don't think anyone involved would be happy if there was too much of a fight. But I still think you could try to talk to them in different ways to make them more okay about it. I don't know how you've been talking about it so I don't know. Have you met the parents yet, or are they just okay with him seeing you? My boyfriends parents were almost the other way around. Even before the summer they asked if he wasn't going to move in with me. ^^; My parents didn't care since I had live by my own for two years before I met him.

Birthday? Oh... I wouldn't personally want that :XD: I would've want my wedding-day to be entirely on it's own and... I don't know... Though that is of course just opinions. Birthdays are as good as any for a wedding and I'm sure you two will find both the right date and "time" to get married.

You're welcome :)
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
oh wow XD; that cleaning thing is just silly in my own opinion but... I know, I didn't/don't want him to leave his family, I suppose he's just trying to convince me how much he cares about me XD;;; I've met his mother but not his father... his mom is really nice and she thinks we're good together :3 my mom has also met him and she likes him too...

our fathers are the more serious ones about it XD; actually, his parents don't speak English, it would be very hard for me to talk to them about anything let alone serious things x.x;;; I'm learning his native language but it will take me a while before I can talk to them about anything serious @.@ haha yeah, I threw out some ideas like the day we met or the day we started dating ;3 which would be next September lol

but yeah, I suppose we will figure it out... I'm just really looking forward to being with him forever, I'm old-fashioned I guess, or rather a romantic but... I do know when to think logically/realistically about things which is one main reson I wanted to hear other opinions... because, I know I can get carried away but I also know that no one else will make me happier >3<
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:iconmatthewmatters:
MatthewMatters Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Professional General Artist
“When love is not madness it is not love.”
- Pedro Calderón de la Barca
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:iconhime-has-questions:
hime-has-questions Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
LOL hm interesting... I like that :D thank you :3
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:iconmonsterpaladin:
Monsterpaladin Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student General Artist
Hey, I like the sound of that! :eyes:
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