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November 25, 2012
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how to move on after break up?!

:iconyuliya3:
yuliya3 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist
So long story short - I know it's stupid to be sad right now because I left him 3 months ago because he always wanted to do things he wouldn't do if he would be with me, according to him... So atfter break up, one month later he left our home country and flew to UK for a job, but one month later he came back and now he has a girfriend. I don't have a feelings for him, but it still hurts then he pretends he doesn't know me ;x
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:iconflicher:
Flicher Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ignore him just the same or sarcastically respond to his lack of attention.
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:iconyuliya3:
yuliya3 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist
I can ignore him, not talk or not even glance at him. But still I can't stop thinking - that's the problem.
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:iconflicher:
Flicher Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Do you have a good support system? Some friends who can perhaps distract you at the moment? It is hard to think what could have been or what should have. You both have been hurt by each other. Try to find a old hobby you used to enjoy doing.
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:iconlifeasanartist:
LifeAsAnArtist Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
correction, 7 billion
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:iconlifeasanartist:
LifeAsAnArtist Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
And it seems my comment didn't send.
I said try to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to mourn the relationship but always remember there are 7 billion people in this world. Ones bound to be right for you so don't become two hung up on one.
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:iconlifeasanartist:
LifeAsAnArtist Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Someone who has been such a big part of your life will be hard to get over of course! Might sound a little morbid but I've sometimes looked at these things like a death. There is a certain mourning period you need to allow yourself. The key is not to rush and not to force it because if you push those feelings down they will only sit and mold until their smell draws your attention to them once again. Let yourself be angry, hurt, sad and you should almost become tired of it after a while and move on. Do try to minimize the time you spend stalking his facebook/twitter/myspace/IDK.
Be kind to yourself and remember; there's 7 million people in this world, ones bound to be right for you.
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:iconyuliya3:
yuliya3 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist
I don't want to be with anyone till I get back on track. There's one guy I could be more close with, but I don't want to. When we started chat and meet more often, I couldn't stop to compare him with my ex. Soo I think I'll forget dating other guys for awhile.
The things is that I lost all passion in life, I don't want to do anything usefull or creative as before. I'm school leaver this year but I don't know what to do in my life yet. And seeing him, so happy and doing things he likes makes me feel more miserable.
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:iconlightning-13:
lightning-13 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Professional General Artist
Ah as they say 'love is fire, but whether it's going to warm or burn your heart, you can never tell'. I know how you feel, maybe you weren't ready to leave him after all? maybe you broke up too soon, thought that some distance would make you miss each other. I don't know him at all so I can only speculate, maybe his relationship isn't serious? maybe he brought a girl to make you jealous, see your reaction? or he truly did move on quickly. It is like that dear, like they say 'it takes two to tango', in love as well, both must feel the same, otherwise one gives more than the other. I know it's very hard to let go, but honestly the best thing to do, is simply erase him from your mind, stop thinking about him, clean your mind, live as if you never knew him, and if someone else appears, take the chance:) Otherwise, if you find it impossible to get over him, tell him how you feel and try to work things out. Love is very hard and takes a lot of time.. you are going to need much patience. Unless he tries, shows in some way that he is interested in you and wants to give you another chance, there is no point in feeling crap about him. You deserve better.
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:iconforevercty:
foreverCTY Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is probably going to be the hardest part about breaking up because even I don't know how to get over the whole "he doesn't talk to me anymore" part. I knew mine for five years, and now despite we're in the same college and by virtue of us being in the same major he sees me a lot, he just treats me as though I'm a stranger. The only way I've learnt to deal with it is to get new friends and try to put that part of my life in the past. I'm not really sure the pain will ever go away (It's been 4 months on my end), but at least making a new circle helps you feel like you're not the one at fault.

If you broke up with him, then remember at the time you did you probably did so for a very good reason. The problem comes from when the good memories begin to eclipse the latter bad ones, but just remember that the bad is more recent and it's what's more important. Yes, it's going to be hard, but the best way is to find something that helps you forget. Even if it's silly, as long as it helps you feel like you again.

:)
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:icontokyov:
TokyoV Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
I got over my last relationship by pretending they didn't exist which worked well for me. Sounds like that's what he's doing too. Maybe you should try it.
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:iconlbthecc:
LBtheCC Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds like ego. He said hurtful things around break-up time that made you doubt yourself (like you were holding him back somehow) and now it hurts you to see him happy because you broke up. You just don't like that he's proving himself right, and proving that he moved on easily. We'd all like to think that people will pine for us, don't we?

And? You need to recognize the feeling, deal with it a bit, then put it aside. Helps if you have something that helps you feel good about yourself. Community project, work, friends, something. And, there's always rebound to make you feel worthwhile as a female again. Nothing quite like being wanted. Just ya know, make sure the new dude knows it's non-serious.

I had a friend who went through a nasty breakup that found this helpful: [link]
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:iconyuliya3:
yuliya3 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist
Actually, I think, his point is that I should regret about leaving him, because he wanted to leave all those things which ment for him so much and I refused to be in such kind of relationship, because I changed my personality and whole life for him and I know what that doesn't lead to good relationship...
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:iconlbthecc:
LBtheCC Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
So basically you're saying he wants you to be jealous, and you're doing exactly that? Which probably is worse because he's winning here.

Your attitude should be "Good riddance" not "How is he happy without me?" He asks you to change for him? How arrogant. Fuck him. Eventually>/i> you'll get to a point where you feel that way instead of how you feel now. The trick, as I alluded to earlier, is feeling better about yourself. You're good enough the way you are. Any guy would be lucky to have you. You can be happy with or without him. Convince yourself of these things and you'll be over him sooner than you think. The tricky part is getting there.
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:iconravynnenevyrmore:
RavynneNevyrmore Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Well, if you're able to remove him from your life, then do so.

If you're not, then at least remove him as much as possible. Don't follow his statuses on Facebook. (You can do this without unfriending him by just unsubscribing to his statuses and pictures.) Don't try to hang out with him or where you know he's going to be. Don't keep in touch.

If there's anything you have that reminds you of him or a certain memory of him (a specific song, shirt, etc.), don't try to avoid hearing/wearing/seeing it ever again. It won't be possible. Eventually you will hear that song again or come across that object again (if it's something you can't/don't want to throw away) and it will remind you of him even more because you haven't seen/heard it since you were with him. Instead, reclaim these objects by disassociating them with the memory of him. Play that song while you do other fun things, wear that shirt when you go out with your friends— dates with other guys, even, if you can manage it. Eventually you will attach different memories to the object and the association between the object and him will weaken as a result.
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:iconyuliya3:
yuliya3 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist
Well, if he even doesn't say 'hi' to me when he walks in front of me, it's natural that we don't communicate, I blocked him on facebook, skype, I don't know his mobile phone and don't hang out where he is. I know some details of his private life from some friends of mine because we live in a small town and everyone knows everything about each other..
I threw away some things which were special for me while we were dating (photos, gifts..)
But despite those things, I can't fall asleep at night and can't stop thinking how he could move on so easily, I know it's more jealousy than some special feelings, but still, It bothers me.
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:iconcammieobscura:
CammieObscura Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
Well obviously you didn't mean much to him in the first place. And then again, you left him. and then again, again you had good reasons. Just look at it this way- dating should be like no fault insurance. It isn't anyone's fault, you just weren't meant to be soul mates. So instead of agonizing over it, just be happy you are free to start a new relationship. So stop thinking about the whys or hows or what could haves, just move on with your life. It is too short to cause yourself further drama.
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Don't think about it or give it thought, I guess?

Keep yourself busy doing the things you love or the things that make you feel good. :nod:
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:iconardiith:
ardiith Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
it takes time thats all it is. you focus on hobbies and go out a lot like the other post said. it'll pass and then you'll love being alone or even find a new person. i know you'll get through it, everyone does :P and if he ignores you its even better then you dont have the pressure of him asking you back or falling back into a relationship that wasnt making him happy and in turn eventually making you unhappy.
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:iconglori305:
Glori305 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
You go out, live your life and do things you find fun. Your heart will start to be happy sooner if you do things that you enjoy.

Hang with friends as much as possible, company also helps.
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:iconpemamendez:
PemaMendez Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
erase him, from every social network and your phone, stop minding his business, if you don't have feelings for him let him go :)
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:iconfreakylaurent:
FreakyLaurent Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Professional Photographer
It's called "Move on"

There's no need to be that obsessed

I know how you felt
Still lingers even 2 yrs later

I rather not speculate, just get goin and get a life while you can.

Your'e young, enjoy, something for the better will happen
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:iconkinghusky:
KingHusky Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student General Artist
This is probably going to sound weird but if you don't have any of those kind of feelings for him anymore then I would suggest you forget about the whole ordeal. If it continues to hurt you by him pretending he doesn't know you then you're just going to have to treat him like he never existed. Just try to drop the whole thing form your mind.
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