Simple most of it happens unexpectantly and naturally-> Form bonds of trust with people such as a friend-> listen to your natural sense of attraction when you feel you're starting to like or become attracted to someone and they start giving you signs back -> take risks and go on that date if they ask you out or ask yourself, the worst they can say is no, if that's the case you can still be friends or try again with someone else. When you're hitting it off and falling for someone trust me, you'll feel it. Do what it tells you too even if it can be a little scary.
You don't look for it. Have it look for you. It'll show up when you least expect it.
I was never looking to fall in love with anyone, yet 2 years ago, I met one boy on here that just happened to share the same interests as I did and we hit it off really well for a few months before he asked me out. And since then, we're still together. c:
Its fine to be a doubter. All you gotta do is go out and talk to people. Hold conversations and try to have fun. You can leave your privacy walls up if you want to it doesn't matter. Sooner or later you will run into someone you feel comfortable around to let those walls down.
I'm always cautious at first. I mean right now there is this is one girl in my class who is amazing in personality and looks and I can't help but to feel all warm inside. But I'm being careful because I'm helping her try to hook up with my friend Adam. It doesn't bother me because I get that feeling all the time. Falling in love is confusing for me because it can come form anywhere. Like I said before I'm cautious with love. Its either just a crush or a really close friendship.
when starting a relationship with a person you are beginning to find interest in, TALK. do not get physically involved with the person at all. Learn about each other, show that you are genuinely interested in the person's life, and their stories, and their philosophy. when you show a person that you are interested in THEM and not their appearance, you will begin to form something that most relationships lack, trust. trust is the key to love. if you do not trust the person, you cannot love them. when you both come to a sense of trust in one another, you will be more easily capable of discussing moving into the realm of physical relation.
This is just a little of MY philosophy of starting a relationship with ANYONE in fact. Some people you will find that you will only be friends because of your differences, and eventually you will come across someone you may find a loving relationship with. Also, remember to keep an open mind, and have the capability to empathize. free your mind of judgement.
Sometimes I feel like it's the LACK of judgement that's keeping me from forming relationship with quite a lot of people. They want to hear opinions, judgement, maybe criticism, so they know where I stand, and whether or not I stand with them.
I've have a long time of training NOT to judge, and look for what's good or a lesson to learn in what life drops my way. And that's been a real conversation killer with people, when they find I don't stand anywhere, or anywhere near their stands, or that I just stand way out there elsewhere... .
I find that being that far out (which i am too) allows me to have many conversations with others on the reasoning behind what they believe. Eventually you will find someone who may be out there too, but you will always have your differences with someone. which is a good thing, because that just keeps the dialogue and learning conversations going. You just need to find someone who is accepting of your differences.
I've never dated anyone. And I'm not even interested in being in a relationship. As I don't believe that love/marriage will bring me happiness. I don't wish to repeat my life, so I prefer to be single, away from the stress; and have a more happy adulthood than my childhood. And free
Oh well... It's difficult. At some point after being rejected by a few people I had a crush on I didn't really care anymore whether the next time it would work out or not. I bitterly accepted the thought of never getting someone but I tried anyway. To my big surprise my boyfriend was the one who fell in love with me first, gave me slight signals but was too shy to do much. ^^' So I thought: "Gosh, I don't want to wait all my life with this!" and did all that was necessary to get closer.
No guts, no glory? Think about what can really happen if it doesn't work out: Will the other one follow and annoy you all your life for it? Will they hurt you physically? Will they kill you?
Hopefully not. What you are getting eitherway is an experience and if you think about that you might change it for the better. Eventually you can turn into the one that you need to become for the one who is meant to you.
Well, at least that's my approach. Hope it helps...
It comes with time. I was cynical for years and wanted nothing to do with relationships. I ran into an old school mate at a party one night and thought "This is someone I want to know." I don't know why, and I have no clue when I realized I love him, but today we're happily married. The key thing to remember is that even if you don't realize it, it will happen when you're ready, so don't force it.
Well, let me just say i know how you feel. Im 22. And ive never been on a date in my life before. Maybe its just because i like being alone, or simply because iam just waiting for someone to find me. But...love cant wait sometimes since you have to go out and find it. Id rather wait then to find. Because if i find then i simply can not tell myself that its what i need because i dont at the moment. But maybe someone will be interested in me, or maybe they simply will not. I guess it all depends on the times or rather the person in which they seek out to love.
Love though, for me...i havent the slightest clue as to know what it'll ever feel like because i will never know...
I still haven't gotten over that, a fear of abandonment. Sometimes I wish it would end so I do not have to wait for it to come, always fearing and dreading it. I do not really believe in other people not to getting going when the going gets tough, as the saying goes. I feel bad about my lack of faith but I have few role models of perseverance and love rather than lust, and then there is people staying together out of convenience or a fear of change.
I share your lack of role models. Had a couple, and they both self-destructed in front of me when vanity and greed got the better of them. Made me real cynical about people and didn't want connection for years. Trying to fix that now. A variant of fear of abandonment for me, it's more like fear of nobody out there will get my back when shit happened.