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November 23, 2012
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What to do about one of my closest friends?

:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ever since I texted my friend early this week she's gotten annoyed or pissed off at me and I don't even know why. Well, because when you text someone you hardly know there mood I didn't know she was annoyed I thought it'd all blow over. I sent blank messages to her and she kept saying she'd block me so I said go ahead... I didn't know that she was really annoyed! I just thought it was a joke cause we never have disagreements and she has been the one I've talked to most since all of my friends split up and went to different high schools. Then yesterday we got into another argument and she was giving me an attitude when i texted her saying Happy Thanksgiving. Her words hurt so bad I was about to cry...I just don't what to do. She's never acted that way towards me before and she won't tell me what I did to make her so upset. I'm convinced its my fault but I'm also stubborn bc in arguments with my friends I always get hurt the most and have to apologise I kind of don't want to be so dependent of my friends for me to be happy or feel weak in the situation Should I give it a week or two before I talk to her again?
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:iconmayjackson:
MayJackson Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
In my experience, friends who start being short with you and picking fights like that, soon break off the friendship. If you don't want to be hurt, I would suggest "backing off" in the relationship and trying to find a better friend. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, and I'm sorry. It's not you, it's them - don't blame yourself. Sometimes people change and don't want to be friends anymore sometimes (stupid people).
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't know what to say to that...
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:iconmayjackson:
MayJackson Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
It's just a heads up. You can do whatever you want with the situation. Just be aware that the relationship may be ending whether you want it to or not. And that's not your fault. Don't beat yourself up.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It just did. And I want to cry but I don't want to seem that dependent...
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:iconmayjackson:
MayJackson Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
You can cry as soon as you're alone, hun :) It's fine to cry. It probably means you have more of a capacity to *feel* and have emotion than your dumb friend. So cry it out, grieve the relationship, be sad for a while, then pick yourself up when you feel ready, kay? It's okay if it takes you a while to get over it. Getting over a really close friendship can be just like getting over a breakup. But you'll get through, I promise :)
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't think she's dumb but the whole break in the friendship thing is confusing. I don't want to believe it's temporary, I refuse to because I'll just get my hopes up.
Secondly, it's hard because I keep having the feeling that my other close friends will get distant and I won't have any soon because the lack of real friends at my new school. But I will definitely try to. Thanks for your help I really appreciate your advice.
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:iconmayjackson:
MayJackson Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012
No problem :) And remember that acquaintences can be very valuable too - saying hi with someone's name and a smile can go a loooong ways. You don't always have to have a best bud. Though I know it can be weird if you've always had one.
Best of luck with it all, and sorry you have to go through this sad time!
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks again and It's alright, I'll pull myself out of it.
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:iconflicher:
Flicher Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Not to be a downer, but people tend to move on to other friends after they move. It is hard to keep that old connection with girls. It may just be her way of pushing you away.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
.......
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:iconbotoru:
Botoru Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i still don't see why she would be mad at you for sending blank messages. i think there's something else that is troubling her. has she been acting weird at school or different? i think you should ask her why she's mad at you and what you did wrong (well..technically it's not your fault). she might just be throwing her anger on you, people do that a lot and i hate it too.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't go to the same school as her any more. Besides that she is just never cruel.. To me at least and I hate it too
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:iconbotoru:
Botoru Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
hm...so have you made up yet?
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Nope, in order to make up she has to respond to me which she hasn't
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:iconbotoru:
Botoru Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
hm, i see..
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Eh, but it's all over, our friendship I mean....
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:iconbotoru:
Botoru Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
but sometimes, you need to find better friends
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ugh she apologized... >.< dramaaaa I'll deal with this myself. Thanks for helping me though. Teeny Bopper drama isn't easy lol
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(1 Reply)
:iconauroriaz:
Auroriaz Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Perhaps something is troubling her, and she is taking out her frustrations/anger/sadness on others. Waiting a few days before communicating again might be a good idea, then maybe try asking me if she is okay. Hopefully, whatever is going on isn't too serious (ex:suicidal thoughts/actions). IDK, some people tend to take out their emotions on others when they are upset while some keep it all inside (Neither is good, maybe somewhere in the middle..). I'm kind of an "expert" on friendship dramas since I have known "drama queens", but it doesn't sound like your friend is mad at you (at least not to me). She's just going through troubling times I think. I am certain things will be back to "normal" shortly. Hope so!
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I really hope so too, thanks for replying ^.^
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:iconauroriaz:
Auroriaz Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem, I like helping people!
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
^.^
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Filmographer
Ask her outright what you did wrong. You'll never find out if you don't ask.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah.. Thanks for replying
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:iconshogun3540:
shogun3540 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Professional Artist
she's on her period
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Um... I wouldn't know
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:iconladydata:
LadyData Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm confused so she's annoyed at you because you sent her a blank message and she just decided to avoid you?

If your friend honestly doesn't want to talk to you then she's not worth acknowledging. Since you have shown concern for her and yet she doesn't want to take the extra step to acknowledge your friendship then she's not worth it. Believe me I've been in that situation too where I've had friends ignore me for no good reason and if I speak my mind out about something reasonable then they get all over-sensitive about it that they would automatically ignore me nor talk to me ever again.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Everything was fine up until that point. Sigh... Friends are complicated...
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:iconladydata:
LadyData Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I agree that's why it's so hard to find a true friend out here. I can be your friend if you'd like :D
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sure xD
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:iconladydata:
LadyData Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
BTW another possibility could be that she's going through a rough time and just wants to be left alone. Have you seen her talk to any other friends or people? If that's the case then she's just ignoring you. Give her a week and if she still doesn't want to talk to you then leave her be.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No I haven't seen her in a while but my friend said she wouldn't respond to her as well. That just might be it
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:iconladydata:
LadyData Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well I hope things work out between you and her =D
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hopefully, thanks
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(1 Reply)
:iconladydata:
LadyData Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
OK I just added you as a friend =D
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:iconlzzec:
lzzec Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
I usually will attempt to communicate. If the other party simply refuses to respond. I will just drop the person and look for someone else. Some people do enjoy going on a cold war or giving cold shoulders to torment the other party a little more. It is just something to make one feel guilty more even though they are already sorry.

So far, when I went along with the 'cold war' game to the extent of really dumping that other party out of my head or forgetting him or her, I was most often approached to reconcile or in rare cases, confronted because I seemed not to care .

Not sure if it works for you. But I tend not to beg for forgiveness over non life and death matters.

I can totally understand if my friend is upset with me for something I may have done wrong on that day itself. But to prolong that bitter feeling to a week or so when I did nothing to annoy further, I think it is a little childish. I usually will forgo such a friend.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't beg unless I know it's absolutely my fault and I've hurt someone really bad, otherwise I am very stubborn saying sorry, especially if the person won't tell me why I am at fault. After today I honestly don't know how we'll get past this if she won't even talk to me.. >.< thanks for commenting though
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
We never argue is death to a relationship of any kind.

Arguing is good for you. It lets you test your friendship to see if it's really solid.

A true friend will never leave you, even if you do annoy each other sometimes.

In the end they'll always find a way to forgive you. Maybe not your actions, but they'll always love you.

So I would suggest telling her you're there if she wants to talk, and then give her a little space.

Maybe she's just going through something right now.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Tried to talk to her today but she never answered so I'll have to try again. I hope so, I'm just upset I can't help her through it
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well sometimes people just need a little space.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, I understand that.
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Don't worry.

Be :)

...

Great now I've got that infernal song stuck in my head.

Excuse me. Gotta tie frayed electric wires to my nuts.

...

You just got all sorts of sick images in your mind right?

I'm going to snap my fingers and then they'll be gone.

SNAP!

Quit that laughing.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Lmfao I think I died of laughter at some point xD nice to laugh before sleeping ^.^
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:)
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:iconwhiskyomega:
WhiskyOmega Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Professional General Artist
Just keep pestering her 'till she tells you. True friends never leave other friends alone...and that includes pestering them until they give you answers for what you did wrong...as odd as that sounds, but it's true.

Just tell her,
"Look, I can't apologize for something when I don't know what I did wrong!"

...you may not really want to apologize but it'll probably get the answer from her.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
If I keep pestering her she'll to leave her alone...it'll make things worse....but eh I'll attempt it
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:iconferaltao:
FeralTao Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012
Try reaching out to her once more - REALLY HUMBLY. Don't make it all about yourself either, ask if you have done something to upset her and if there's something stressing her in her life now. If she blows you off - back away and let her approach you. Don't actively avoid her, rather just do not actively seek contact and be friendly and open to her if she seeks contact with you. Things and people change - sometimes very quickly and if the problem is between you two you should give her space to decide what she wants to do with your relationship.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This really helped me. I really regret not asking her yesterday.. I'll try talking to her tomorrow
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:iconferaltao:
FeralTao Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
I'm glad you feel it helped and I hope it all works out for you. Friendships are a difficult thing.
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:iconxjessie-chan:
xJessie-chan Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks :) yes, I've been learning that.
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