Relationship advice?
I'll keep it short and sweet.
>Been with the Current boyfriend for almost 4 years
>We've always fought a lot, he's the most stubborn and selfish creature ever gifted with life.
>I still love him to death
>Long-Distance Relationship for the most part - His parents moved a while away about 3 months into our relationship, But we stayed together.
>We've fought badly many times and broken up once, but it didn't last.
>He's moving within arms-reach within the next couple of months.
At the moment, the fighting's hitting an all-time-high, and he can't ever seem to apologize or try to fix things without being prompted. It's getting to the point we're more defensive of each other then anything else. This has all happened before. Down to the letter. And every time I've gone back and fixed it. and I'm sick of cleaning up after his messes, and this time around am not solving anything. There seems to be more damage done to each other in this relationship, but.. This has all happened before, and it's gotten better.
So, should I stay? I can't view it impartially enough to decide - I do love him, and he'll probably always mean a lot to me. Or do I just wait till it gets better again and keep going?
(also, I lied about keeping it short. Sorry.)
>Been with the Current boyfriend for almost 4 years
>We've always fought a lot, he's the most stubborn and selfish creature ever gifted with life.
>I still love him to death
>Long-Distance Relationship for the most part - His parents moved a while away about 3 months into our relationship, But we stayed together.
>We've fought badly many times and broken up once, but it didn't last.
>He's moving within arms-reach within the next couple of months.
At the moment, the fighting's hitting an all-time-high, and he can't ever seem to apologize or try to fix things without being prompted. It's getting to the point we're more defensive of each other then anything else. This has all happened before. Down to the letter. And every time I've gone back and fixed it. and I'm sick of cleaning up after his messes, and this time around am not solving anything. There seems to be more damage done to each other in this relationship, but.. This has all happened before, and it's gotten better.
So, should I stay? I can't view it impartially enough to decide - I do love him, and he'll probably always mean a lot to me. Or do I just wait till it gets better again and keep going?
(also, I lied about keeping it short. Sorry.)
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Ok look, the fact that you love him mean so little when he sounds like an arrogant bastard. You should leave, and it will be hard and for the most part you will quesiton your decision but you have to trust yourself that you are making the right decision. For the sake of your future self, and your happiness there is no point in putting yourself through all this. Your always thinking maybe if I, maybe if he, maybe but no. You cannot change him, and you wont change him. He will always be like this, and one day (maybe not now, but when the glitters of being in love falls of his ass) you will see him for him and realise that you wasted most of your life being with someone like him when you could've been available for someone nice and stable to come in and sweep you off your feet. Look your going to have to wake up and realise that his mess is HIS mess, and whether you clean it up or not he'll always leave it on the floor. My advice, pick up your pride and walk out that door.
Well, you have to ask yourself if all the emotional stress is worth it for you and if you can talk honestly with your partner about how you feel? Because that's the most important thing. You shouldn't be tiptoeing around eachother, but rather be upright that there is a problem and now you're helping eachother fix it, even if the solution is to be friends rather than girlfriend-boyfriend. It shouldn't be impossible if there really is love and a genuine wish for the best of the other person.
stay or leave. Stop trying to be a white knight. You can't change people.
I think you guys should give each other some space. Not a break-up. Just some time apart (not even talking on the phone) where you can clear your heads. Sometimes you get into a rut of just fighting all the time about rubbish. Time apart will make you forget about your anger, and then you can talk to him again (when everyone's cooled down). But talk to him about his stubbornness (and everything else that bothers in your relationship with him) - it might just be that he doesn't know how to say sorry - it might actually be a very small thing he struggles with. After you've spoken to him, having heard the truth from him, you can then make your decision of whether or not it will be best to stay with him.
he sounds immature and not a find-a-solution-to-our-problems kind of guy. relationships will have some fights but if he never takes it upon himself to apologise or realise that he's in the wrong like you do, ask yourself why are you with him besides him being 'adorable'?
I've been through the SAME problem. Except for the time frame. But, from what I read, it seems to me that the bad times outweigh the good times. I was caught in the rut of constantly thinking to myself, "Well, he's a really awesome guy when he's not being an asshole...." and that always got me to get up and fix the problem MYSELF, whereas he would sit there and not try to fix it at all. Bottom line: if he really wanted to be with you, he would have NO PROBLEM trying to fix the problems you guys have. It shouldn't only be you trying. That's like a one-sided relationship. You're giving him your all and he's just receiving and not giving in return. Since you really like him, tell him that he needs to be willing to fix the problems you guys are having. If he doesn't want to, obviously he doesn't give a shit and you need to WALK OUT of his life. It's best that way, because then you're giving yourself the opportunity to go out there and find someone better who deserves your attention. Someone who will give you their all.
There are ups and downs in any relationships What makes you keep coming back to him?
Because, he's adorable. I love the kid to death. That's why I go back to him, and when it's good it's great. we just have out weeks.
How do his family treat him? Has he been going through a rough time? That impacts a relationship in many unpleasant ways
He's always had family troubles. He's a daddy issues boy, there's something you don't see every day. I think it stems from his family - none of his family really talk to each other, they're strangers living in the same house. and when they argue, they just get angry and then stop talking to each other.
Which is what I mean when I say he won't help. He just shuts himself down and won't talk to me at all until I all but force him to.
Which is what I mean when I say he won't help. He just shuts himself down and won't talk to me at all until I all but force him to.
I suppose that is a reason why he has a hard time opening up Though he has had a rough time with his family, if he loves you, he should at least make the effort to open up You need to explain it to him patiently that if he keeps behaving this way, he is going to end up lonely and bitter If you truly love him, you should help him realize the mistake he is doing and after that, both of you can go about repairing each others lives 
as a 19 year old who has been dating someone for 5 years, fighting is not good. Given you are so young, this guy might be your first love and in that case, he will always mean something to you. However, if he makes your life stressful and hard, then he isn't worth it. Waiting in never a good choice, you will end up waiting forever. Plus, relationships are about compassion, trust, and support. It is not your job to change him into a better person, if anything this will make it worse. If he is not the type of guy you are happy with now, then dont waste anymore time on him and find someone who is perfect for you the way they are.
I would say it's time to move on. It doesn't mean you do not love him. I'm sure he will always be an importand part of your life. Staying together sounds like it's hurting both of you and doing more harm then good. Take a break and if it is meant to be you will find each other again down the road Good luck!!
Good luck!!
In my opinion, if you've broken up before, nothing is stopping it from happening again. I say you should leave him because if it didn't work once, it won't work the second time. If someone is unhappy enough with you to leave you, than they probably don't need you.
I forgot to mention up there that the break up was over 2 years ago now, and there was a lot of outside stress on both parties at the time. We've held it together fine since. 
omg, you two are match made in hell. Do you think the fighting will ever change if you ever get married? I don't think so. I think it's time to leave something behind that is not good for you, this relationship. Move on.
We're only 19 
So getting married isn't in the books yet.. Thank god. I don't think I could marry him until we're 100% sure we're all sorted anyway.
So getting married isn't in the books yet.. Thank god. I don't think I could marry him until we're 100% sure we're all sorted anyway.
If he's moving very close to you soon, I'd say try to keep it together at least until he moves. Maybe the distance is putting extra stress on you. Or maybe you've both changed so much that when you get to see each other all the time again it will just become so obvious that you're no longer right together that it will be less difficult to breach the topic.
I've been through most of that, accept my ex didn't move far away and after all I went through, all of the suffering wasn't worth it. I apologized every argument, he started every argument on something I said. I let a guy beat me up cause I cared a ton for my ex who didn't even try to stop me. And I would always cry at the end of each night wondering if I did the right thing. Basicly if things get worse just end it until he can manage to do the right thing himself. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for ya
I think you should wait. See if he comes around, if not, ask yourself what you want to do :/
I wwould suggest sitting down and having a serious talk about how his "messes" are making you think about breaking up for good. If he isn't willing to fix things at that point break up with him. If he's not willing to put effort into the relationship, he's not worth it.
It all boils down to, do you love him?
If yes, then do whatever it takes to stay with him.
If yes, then do whatever it takes to stay with him.
My mother loves my father very much and she always stayed with him and as a result, he made her life very miserable. She deserves so much better. Just because you love somebody, doesn't mean you should be with them.
Life is short. Why waste it being with somebody who makes you unhappy and doesn't care enough to apologize or fix things when you can be with somebody who truly loves you.
Life is short. Why waste it being with somebody who makes you unhappy and doesn't care enough to apologize or fix things when you can be with somebody who truly loves you.
I guess we have different views.
I'd rather be unhappy with someone I love than happy with someone I don't.
I'd rather be unhappy with someone I love than happy with someone I don't.