You're not a terrible friend. I'm sure you've done all you can to help them change their destructive thinking. But, it's really hard to change people that don't want to listen or be changed. The parents in both cases need to be involved...it is pretty sick if they are treating it like a joke. Maybe a school councellor could help them (but getting them to see a councellor sounds like it wouldn't work). The most you can do is hang out with them and do activities that are fun, this will get their minds off their problems at least for a little while, and maybe it can become a habit for them to seek out fun stuff.
TheMarcherFeatured By OwnerDec 8, 2012Hobbyist Photographer
It is very hard to share feeling about self harm to people who are so close. It might be a better idea to have your sister talk to someone else. Perhaps not a doctor but just a friend.
I know I could never have told my mom or my sister about what I felt back in the days when I self harmed. But I could talk about it with strangers. I did not feel the need to keep a facade when I did not know the person well.
And you are strong, you can be strong enough to face anything. Even if it does not feel like it you are always able to take another step. Just one at the time, and then you take one more and repeat until you are done. And you don't have to do it alone. There is plenty of good people who can help!
well.. personally speaking, i have never cut myself, but i have self-harmed with other objects. Your sister needs you the most at a time like this. it does not matter, if she keeps on telling you to go away, because there's a Swedish Proverb, that pretty much describes it all. 'Love me, when I don't deserve it, because that's when I need it the most'
For your sister, she has depression. Cutting herself is one thing that she thinks will solve her problem, but obviously, it won't. And I don't know if she's experiencing the later symptoms: depression leads to overdosing and going on drugs and alcohol. It can then lead to suicide. Tell your parents or teachers she trust, and they'll help. Remember, depression IS curable.
For your friend, she has a mental eating disorder, and I think it's bulimia, or something else. Anyway yeah she's like other girls: thinking she's fat when she's not, blah blah blah. But her view is seriously affecting her. She can starve herself, and that's all I know about bulimia. Google it or something.....lol
But the best you can do for both of them is to tell an adult you trust and/or they trust. I'm sorry you're experiencing this; it must be hard for you.
But remember that both cases ARE curable. Oh and DO NOT say things like "it'll be alright" "you're not fat" "get over it". It won't help at all. Kay, that's all I have to say
and yeah if she ignores you, don't try to make her feel better with words. I'm not saying this to be mean or anything, but if she doesn't want to talk about it, then don't talk about it. It's her choice, and talking about it will make her feel worse. Hugging her is a good thing, it lets her know there's someone who still loves and cares about her.
I'm not sure I can be very much help... I have never cut, but I have felt very depressed and had thoughts of maybe not suicide, but simply wishing to be dead. It's really hard for me to share my feelings because I feel I am being too selfish about life. I have a roof over my head, a loving family, adorable pets. So when I feel depressed I feel like I'm just a burden and being unreasonable and sometimes I am just embarrassed. I know not everyone is the same but it might be issues like this why your sister does not want to open up. It seems like you really care about your sister and your friend, and it is right to be concerned if they are living unhealthily or unhappily, so just ignore some people who may have posted otherwise. I think if you shared your own feelings perhaps your sister would feel more comfortable opening up about her feelings. Tell her how you feel, how you just want to help but feel helpless. I would do the same with your friend, if she feels your genuine concern she may realize her self-image needs some help and be willing to work on it. I don't know if you might have tried that, but it is my only idea :/ I wish you success and I hope your life and those close to you can become happier. It's better to have hope and try to make a positive change then to despair.
i dont know exactly how to help but theres always an end to depression in ends soon enough and then you can be happy again you just need to really examine whats going on. i just got over a 3 year long depression. as for your sister i just have one suggestion next time shes sad dont say anything just hug her. some people just dont want to talk about whats bothering them either cause they think others wont understand or that it wont really help. she may just need to think things out thats how i got over my depression. and as for you, you need to relax cutting is never the answer. youll find someone who loves you if its not now you will eventually. i hope this helped if not im sorry
well I haven't cut, but I came close to it. So as someone who shares her feelings I might bring a little insight on it to you. well sometimes she might feel like a burden if she talks about her feeling either that or she wants to talks but she doesn't want to bring up the topic. So how about trying going to her instead her going to you. Also do NOT i repeat DO NOT go to a therapist! They just shout a bunch of negative stuff at us and it only makes us feel really bad. hopes this helps.
First, learn to type normally, it makes things easier to read when you actually capitalize the beginning of sentences and use paragraph breaks to separate ideas.
Second, isn't it quite hypocritical of you to not want your sister to cut when you yourself do it, or have done it? Honestly, I don't know where you get off complaining about how she handles things when you do the same exact thing. If you don't want her to do that and want her to open up more to you, then lead by example and do so yourself.
Third, I would say something about your friend, but my eyes can't focus enough to bring that part out of your text wall, again back to learning to type in a way that is easy to read.
And fourth, yes you are being a terrible friend, and not just because you're ranting about them over the internet, but because you want to change your friend and sister. You think you know better than them, but you can't even get a grip on your own life. How the hell do you expect to help anyone when you can't even help yourself. Let them be with who they are and stop trying to change their way of thinking. They have every right to feel however they want, and you of all people have absolutely no right to judge them at all. If you want to do some good then focus on getting a grip on your own life.
You should be sorry to your sister for being a hypocrite, and trivializing her feelings.
But seriously, can you be assed to actually capitalize and use fucking punctuation like an educated individual, because besides the fact that it makes reading easier, when you fail to do so, it makes you look like unintelligent, which means people are less likely to take anything you say seriously.
says someone who drags their whole sentence with unneeded commas instead of using periods. i use the right puctuations except for captilization and sometimes spelling. but really, your commas everywhere is getting really hard to read because you dont know when to stop thinking, its like your mind is out of breath. i do capitilize and use apostrophes on my computer though. also, ive said nothing to my sister about self-mutilation. like i said, i wanted to help her, not change her. i know that to change someone, you have to make an impact big enough on their live for them to change themselves. i also know that self-harm comes out of a few things; stress, anger, and depression. the most obvious way to stop self-harming is to eliminate the factors, which cannot be done all at once and must be done is small steps.
Either way, you set a bad example for her, and are really hypocritical to judge her for doing so when you can't even get a grip yourself.
And giving me this shit about eliminating all the factors and doing it in small steps is just a fancy way of saying you're too lazy to actually do something about it. Honestly since admittedly you're still haven't fully stepped away from that life, you have no right to say what can or can't stop it.
Also, "i use the right puctuations". Besides the fact that it's punctuation not puctuations, I don't think you know where the apostrophe is. And for someone that begins their entire point by criticizing the use of commas you sure did use a lot of them.
Wow, real adult, snaps for you. I use commas in the right places, it's a break in a sentence for a new thought. This, is what you were, doing because, it seemed like this. Enough about grammar though, I don't want to deal with some idiot that picks fights with kids over the internet. Even better, picking fights with kids over the internet in a "Help with Life" forum. Way to set a good example for adults, you deserve a medal.