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November 20, 2012
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Cyber Bullying

:icontataouin:
Tataouin Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I was recently reached out by a 14 year old girl who has been cyber bullied by people (3 that I know of) who thought were her friends (in real life) but who turned around and began attacking her and her art on the internet.
She put all her art in storage and is afraid to show her art anymore.

I tried to help but I've only been bullied by my family and has never been able to make them stop. My older sister grew out of it and I do not talk to my grandmother much any more. I'm 21 and have moved on, feeling more confident. But this girl is 14 and has some serious self-esteem issues.

Any helpful advice on how to deal with cyber bullies?
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Devious Comments

:icongingerontheinside:
gingerontheinside Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
i wrote a journal about this, maybe it could give you an idea?
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:iconthechronowolf:
TheChronoWolf Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
maybe she should take the piss out of them i mean i know its not right to rise to their level but it does feel good to give them a taste of their own medicine and art is one persons view on a style you cant say if its good or bad, hope this helped i doubt it though :s
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:iconjericawinters:
JericaWinters Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Maybe the 14 year old could get her mother to have a nice chat with the parents of the attacking teens.
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:icondamaimikaz:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Block and ignore.
It's only the internet. They don't know you, and can't physically hurt you. They're just stupid, childish creatures, that lack any common sense, and'll probably end up in the gutter some day.
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You never even read the OP, did you?

It's the fucking first sentence ffs... "who thought were her friends (in real life) but who turned around and began attacking her and her art on the internet"
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:icondamaimikaz:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So? Either bullying irl or on the internet still makes them miserable losers.
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No, it doesn't actually, and further, it renders your "advice" idiotic.

It's really hard to block someone you're forced to go to school with, wouldn't you say?

Point is: If you're not prepared to actually help, why the fuck are you answering posts in HWL?
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:icondamaimikaz:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well... the only way to get rid of that kind of people is having some sense of self worth, even though it's faked (as long as the bullies don't know, it's fine). People like that get off on other people crying of getting desperate, because they're just a miserable excuse of an human being. They're doing it for the response. So no matter what you do, ignoring is the best way. They'll eventually get bored and search another victim.
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:iconthe-vibeke:
The-Vibeke Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
OMG that sounds so terrible! Cyberbullies are the worst . . . they think their words don't hurt but they really do.

Your friend should post her art anyways and just show them that she is awesome and that she won't take their BS!
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Ignoring them, do not feed the trolls!
By replying you are showing them that you care about what they think. If ignored their opinion does not matter.

Family should be supportive but not all are. My parents were nice but they could be very judgemental at times. I just had to learn to do what I wanted even against their will.

And you friend should not be afraid to show her art. She is 14 and has her whole life to perfect it. No one is perfect from the start.
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:iconseaoffireflies:
SeaOfFireflies Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Some advice I can offer is to block/avoid all contact with these horrible people. And, as she is 14, some guidance should help too. Try showing her a bunch of artistic inspirational quotes that you think she will really take to heart. I think the best you can do for a young artist is to inspire them and help them grow. I'm not a teacher myself, but the one I had was the best this planet has ever had, and she did this for me.

Don't let her give up!

Also, show her the nice comments here. This may help her see that some people on the internet can be sincere and willing to help. Not all people on the web are trolls. :)

Hope I helped. Good luck to you and her! :heart:
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student Filmographer
Now, that's proper cyber bullying. Anyone saying "ohhhh she can just turn off the computer didn't take into account she'll see these people in a place where she can't just turn off the screen. I'd say she should stop caring what other people think about her. It's not always easy, but she can always give it a go.
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:iconjessicaann87:
JessicaAnn87 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
oh man, thats a tough age. I was bullied most of my life and its sticks with you for the mot part. CYBER BULLYING can be worse or just as bad as bullying in person too :(
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:iconseaoffireflies:
SeaOfFireflies Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Agreed. I'm fortunate to not have been cyber bullied, since I wasn't on the internet for most of my childhood. But bullying really sucks, no matter what form it's in.
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:icondraculeariccy:
DraculeaRiccy Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Professional
She can either block them, ignore them or delete her profile. After all, it's cyber bullying, when you turn off your computer it's gone.
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:iconsatoshi444:
Satoshi444 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Student General Artist
"She put all her art in storage and is afraid to show her art anymore."? Does that mean she's a deviant as well? I heard about a fellow deviant who got teased by her several friends in real life last few months. Just wanna make sure if that was her. Well, anyway, I've been through the worse as well. Perhaps, the best thing she can do is to stay out of these bullies, or else, go meet new friends she can rely on. I know it's not gonna be easy. My best friend is a girl and got teased by my other classmates. She had to find some new friends (one of them being me). And, don't let it into you when things like this came up. That's all I can answer I guess. If you know her, do whatever it takes to stop her from hurting herself (like self-mutilation or even suicide). Good luck in life.
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:iconbagam:
Bagam Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's her fault, all she needs is to do is ignore them.
Ever heard of "Don't feed the troll"?.
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:iconkatsa2009:
Katsa2009 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
A good artist takes critique to heart. A young heart doesn't know how to fend off the sharper teeth of biting words.
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:iconseaoffireflies:
SeaOfFireflies Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
That was brilliant. :heart: Being a young artist is tough, as we should all know.
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:iconkatsa2009:
Katsa2009 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks :) So it is!
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Student General Artist
Damn that was brilliant! I love this comment.
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:iconkatsa2009:
Katsa2009 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you! :)
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Student General Artist
:heart:
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:iconbagam:
Bagam Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Shit you sound like a monk.

But it's true.
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:iconkatsa2009:
Katsa2009 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
lol, thanks!
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:iconomi-arisu:
Omi-Arisu Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
Block them. ^-^ It has always worked for me. The worst thing to do is respond. Trolls feed off attention >:3
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:iconsummitstars:
summitstars Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Unfortunately, every site will have people like that, just some more than others.
I'm 21 and I have mostly moved on from that kind of crap too. I also had serious self esteem issues as a 14 year old, and I honestly don't remember ever having to deal with that 8 years ago. It's gotten so much worse today and it's scary!
What I did when I had that problem on DeviantArt earlier this year was report the person (which honestly they didn't do anything to stop them because I kept getting harassed), so I just simply shut down my account and came back to my old one, which I use now. Haven't had a problem since!
I think what people have to realize about cyberbullies is that 99% of the time, they wouldn't actually say that stuff to your face. Just because some lowlife kid said something nasty doesn't mean there is any validity to it at all.
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:iconauroriaz:
Auroriaz Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
"Hate" is unavoidable online, there are so many idiots out there. When you post something, or say something, you become a target for trolls and stupid people. But I think that the good people out-weight the bad overall. Creating a new account is what I did when I had some friendship dramas in the past. Or blocking/reporting them. Everyone goes through some type of bullying, online and off. Online is easier for people to target others, since most people won't know the real identities of the bullies, and they feel more powerful i guess, like they cannot get caught for it or something. And when people are discussing or debating a topic, especially a touchy one like religion or politics or science or something, some people act totally immature and stupid! I just hide or disable comments when I want to minimize online drama, and those people should go away and target someone else...but when you know those people...What is the young girl's account on here? Maybe I could send her a quick note...
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:icontataouin:
Tataouin Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
She doesn't want to change accounts and she told me she would confront the bullies at school the next time she saw them. I haven't heard from her since.
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:iconlouiseugeniojr:
LouisEugenioJR Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I really hate bullies, especially cyber bullies.
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:iconbotoru:
Botoru Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i agree, they are really wimps.
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:iconlouiseugeniojr:
LouisEugenioJR Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I've heard it's also a federal offense.
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:iconsummitstars:
summitstars Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Me too, it's a shame that it doesn't seem to be treated like one though. I see it all the time >_<
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:iconlouiseugeniojr:
LouisEugenioJR Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
dA really needs to crack down on cyber bullying. If I were an admin who got a report on cyber bullying, I'd close the problem user's account and blacklist the user's e-mail address.
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Student General Artist
I agree DA really does need to crack down on cyber bullying maybe we could get a petition of people who are on DA to bring this to mods? because it's really not right, how cyber bullying is allowed on DA or it's not enforced enough.
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:iconlouiseugeniojr:
LouisEugenioJR Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
A petition would sound like a good idea.
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Student General Artist
Go into the suggestion, and on the second page there is a "da neesd to crack down on bullying" If you can add really good reasons, that should help back you up because most of the people there are saying things that aren't really helping to victims of cyber bullying.
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(1 Reply)
:iconshogun3540:
shogun3540 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Professional Artist
tell her to not care. if she cares what people think she's insecure and should just harden the fuck up
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:icondawndancer11:
DawnDancer11 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
Tell her to...
Block the people on the internet
Take her art out of storage
Ignore the people at school
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:iconsandmanfallingout:
sandmanfallingout Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
i think you can block pople sorry if not much help new to this site
sorry dyslexic
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:iconmcpikachu:
mcpikachu Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
I know this is a hard concept for 14 year-olds to grasp, but she should just not care. If these people are making an effort to be insulting and hurtful with no constructive purpose behind it, everything they say automatically becomes garbage. Honestly, once you understand that, very rarely will you get your feelings hurt.

Also, I know this isn't very sympathetic of me to say, but that's the risk you take when you spend a good deal of time on a community based website. If you're not able to handle it, it's best to leave. It's shitty, but until they invent a way to punch people through the internet, it's the only thing you can do.
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:icontataouin:
Tataouin Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha well thank you for the advice. :)
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:icontristancody:
TristanCody Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student Writer
Unfortunately, there is not much you can do about cyber-bullying because it is anonymous (most of the time) and many people will be hostile because they can. Running away seems easy, but eventually it will catch up with you. You may stand up and face it, yet, it is very hard for many to back down once agitated. The best advice I can give is to take the moral high-ground. I debate politics a lot and when I have someone attack me constantly with a bully-demeanor, I take the moral high-ground and most of the time they back off or settle down.

I apologize if I am not much help, but I do have empathy for the situation and hope the best for you. :)
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:icontataouin:
Tataouin Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much, I'll take that to heart when I talk to her. :)
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:icontristancody:
TristanCody Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Student Writer
:handshake:
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:iconmidnightsecho:
MidnightsEcho Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You could also always advise her to get a new, fresh account and not give them the link to it, and only give the link to her real friends.

That's what I did!
... thrice. Still no bullies on my end on this account.
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:icontataouin:
Tataouin Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh wow you got a new account three times? I had advised her to do so and she didn't want to because she told me she got a premium and had finally changed her name to something she loved. I dunno, I would have done so to keep them from finding me but whatever you know. =_=
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:iconmidnightsecho:
MidnightsEcho Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I did. First because I stood up for someone who was being cyber bullied and they went and ruined my poor stories.
So I pretty much changed accounts and went 'I frankly don't care."
Then I got into an argument with someone in a group and they sent their annoying freaks after me.
Then I broke up with my girlfriend and she sent all her friends to send me death threats.

So here I am. No one knows me.

I can see why. Premium looks like fun. Never had one.
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:icontataouin:
Tataouin Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah bullies feed off emotion, you may not want to argue with another one of them. x3
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:iconkhirate:
Khirate Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
If she knew them from real life, how long has she known them?
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