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November 20, 2012
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Please help me (kinda long)

:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sorry for my watchers that will see this, I'd prefer if you didn't read as I don't want you to see me like this.. I am 16, and have an almost 2 year old son. My boyfriend of 3 years just turned 21..
Don't judge too much as it is legal here..
My dad works 3 provinces away from us and is only home every little while and only for a short time..
My mom is a severe schizophrenic who believes that god and satan are the voices and people she sees...
I am atheist, so that makes it even worse to deal with..
My mom can't take care of me, and can't even take care of herself.
So C.A.S got involved and I had to live with my uncle for a bit while I was pregnant and my mom got put in a mental institution.. I hated it there, it was awful and he was cruel so my boyfriends family took me in..
I only stay at home when my dad is there..
And it's been really great staying with them for almost 3 years..
But my boyfriends dad is a complete ass.. He's extremely rude to every single person around him, and then he constantly cries and complains about how no one wants to be around him (he didnt even get invited to his very close relatives wedding because they didn't want him there).
My boyfriend doesn't have a job, and he's tried extremely hard to get one but we live in a town with only 5 small stores and none are hiring, and the only vehicle we have is my dads who only lets us use it for certain things.
My boyfriend is doing correspondence as well a I am.. I have extreme depression, anxiety, o.c.d, and a heck of a lot of other problems.. I am supposed to be on a bunch of meds but my doctor still can't find any that work.. They all make it worse, so I can't go to school.. Even when I tried, I couldn't help but crying and freaking out in class because of extremely bad social anxiety..
My boyfriend's dad is threatening to kick him and us all out, and tehn he does nothing but scream and everything else.. Did I mention he is a drug addict? And I don't just mean a little weed...

We are trying to raise our son a certain way and we only just got him recently,as my boyfriends mom took him away and refused to let us have him.. So, my boyfriend's dad is constantly going against what we say and really making things so much more difficult.. Now my son is constantly stealing our food, screaming and beating on people as well as biting, and a bunch of other things because of the things my boyfriend's dad keeps teaching him. He's really corrupting him and I don't even want my son anywhere near him..

Most will say "just move out then", but what people don't understand is that my boyfriend's dad is my guardian while my dads away..
Meaning if he kicks my boyfriend out, or if my boyfriend tries to get an apartment.. I'm not aloud to be near my boyfriend or my son and will only be able to see my son for like a couple hours a day..
And since that's the case i'd have to either go live with my mom who is an extreme danger to my health, or get taken into another family...

What do I do? How do I deal with this? My doctor just recently told me my depression seemed to be getting better by itself... but now it's all coming back.. I'm sick of living every single day with nothing but screaming, and drugs all around me.. and I'm sick of constantly being told how awful I am and how I'm nothing but a bitch and whatever else... :'(
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:iconbotoru:
Botoru Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
living with your dad might help?
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My dad technically lives at home. He works in a camp in a different province on a construction site. He just stays in a small bunker with like 300 different people from around the world so if I was to live with my dad.. it would be living at home alone with my mom.. Which doesn't work as she can be dangerous.
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:icongreowko:
Greowko Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i was thing my life sucks, but your life is really bad, you do not have your real family, and your boyfriend´s family is dangerous for you and your son...

i can not do anything for you because i am just a person on internet but take this council; do not do nothing stupid, really, that just make worse your situation (for example my family never care for me, i am depressive, they never believe me when i tell them about my problems, i do not have any friend and i do not go to the school... and i am very ill, really) i tried to kill myself two times and had a car accident, that only do worse my situation, my family not care about me anyway and i am just more sick and hurt. so do not try that or some similar (i feel stupid then), and if you can live with other family do that. do the better for you!

the people here just can listen to you (or read hehe), if you tell your problems to other people you will feel a little better and vent of your problems, and receive another point of view or maybe receive help, search help in your city or on your own neighborhood, i do not believe in god or some similar but i find some help in a great guy, he is christian (not catholic) but he is the only person who really help me in my worse moments, so do not be a stupid atheist and try to find help in different type of people.

i hope you feel better soon :)
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I understand what you mean.. I have attempted to kill myself when I was younger, and I'm glad I never got to do it. Whether my life is really difficult and harsh at times I love my son, my boyfriend, my dad, and my mum and even if my mom isn't like she was, I still have wonderful memories of her before she got really sick..
Thanks for the advice but I am feeling a lot better about the situation as I know that even if they don't always show it, they care a lot about me.
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:iconasukakissu:
AsukaKissu Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That sounds really hard D:
I know your an athiest but I'll be praying for you.
I can't really give any direct advice (I have no experience with this kind of thing haha)

But do you have any close friends that would be willing to house you and your boyfriend until he gets a job?
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Since I am out of school, I literally have no real life friends at all. Not even one.
Most of them stopped wanting to be around me when I got pregnant since I was only 14 (thats elementary school).
The few I had left didn't like me anymore because I came mature and didn't want to party and couldn't handle how they behaved.
But thank you for praying for me. It means a lot.
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:iconasukakissu:
AsukaKissu Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awh, really D:
sorry to hear that :P
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's alright, I have plenty of online friends that try their best to help me out. :)
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:iconthisismyboat:
thisismyboat Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I don't have any direct advice for you, but have you considered going to the police and seeing what social programs are out there for you? Police aren't just there to solve crimes, they're also there to help a community.
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
What do you mean by social programs?
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:iconthisismyboat:
thisismyboat Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
They're usually programs sponsored by the government or your province to help out those in these kind of situations. I know Canada has quite a few programs relating to youth, such as job placement programs, mental health programs, housing programs, day care programs, etc. I don't know what province you live in, but it's worth either going to the police or looking around on your province's website for these sort of things. Canada tends to be pretty good with social welfare and I'd be shocked if there wasn't a single thing out there for your situation right now.
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah I live in Ontario and its worth a look.
Cant sign up for things like disability (not old enough) or welfare (can't work) but I'm sure theres something that can help. Thanks, I'll look up Ontarios website right now.
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:iconthisismyboat:
thisismyboat Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
What's also worth a shot is try going to a local university and see what sort of student support programs they have. Even though you're not a student, they might know of some stuff that can help you anyways.
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Not too sure what they could offer me considering I am 3 years away from even being allowed to go to a college.
And the closest university is 2 hours away.. Which is pretty far to find out dsomething like that but I'm sure their website might have something.
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:iconthisismyboat:
thisismyboat Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I just suggested university because often they're in partner with local social programs that might not be as well advertised. Do what you have to, though.
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks ive never heard of that but ill take a look
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:iconisho13:
Isho13 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
If you're serious about it and not a troll (sorry but there are lots of those, one can never be sure), well, I really don't have much advice.

When will you be a legal adult? Some countries state an age of 21, some others 18, and everything in the middle. Is that too far in the time?

About your toddler. I don't have my own son to even relate to what you're going through. If things keep getting worse, I can only advice to watch some youtube videos of 'supper nanny' and shows like that, maybe you can get ideas or guidelines for taking your kid through the right path.

About the depression, I've dealt with that but it wasn't that serious, and it was more about having a fucked-up, imbalanced brain. I even refused to take medication from my therapist, and with my ups and downs, I got through it. Sometimes I still have some 'downs', but nothing too serious. XP Is there something you love to do and is calming at the same time? I've seen you mentioned you really care about your watchers. Do you like to draw? Then immerse yourself in it, even if it's just 5 mins a day. That helped a lot to me. :)

Good luck in life. :hug:
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'll be a legal adult at 18. Here its 18 to leave school, 19 to drink, 18 to live on your own, 18 to get married without parental consent. I guess 2 years really isn't that long of time, but it really feels like a long time. In two years my son will be in kindergarden so not much time to get all that straightened before he starts school.. So should probably really save up money.. Didn't even occur to me that everything will all be mushed together..

That's really great advice on the super nanny videos. I've seen one before of a preschooler that bit another boy in his man areas, and she turned him around completely to this little sweetheart.

Thanks so much about the advice about drawing. It's a great idea! And it will help take my mind off other things. It also reminded me that I can cram into my correspondence (home schooling books). School used to be what kept me busy and since I've been out of it, it's been more stressful.

Thank you so much for really giving me some great advice. It means so much to me and happy holidays.
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:iconisho13:
Isho13 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm glad my comment was something good for you. :) :hug:
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:iconedaherz:
EdaHerz Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Digital Artist
Ohh.. I'm very sorry for you!!!! :cry: I hope this situation can be solved somehow soon!!! I wish you the best!!! :iconaawplz:
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, its a bit better now. My boyfriends dad apologized for being an ass..
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:iconedaherz:
EdaHerz Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Digital Artist
I'm glad to read that!! :)
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:iconvvinterpaws:
vvinterpaws Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
omg i'm so sorry.. i feel so bad, i dont even know what i would do if i was you.. im sorry, this had like no advice to you... :cry:
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's alright, thanks for the sympathy.
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:iconvvinterpaws:
vvinterpaws Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah no problem
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:iconsonrie-mucho:
Sonrie-mucho Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Is there a way in your country you could become emancipated? It might be an option to consider. As for the current situation, if I were you, I would sit down and have a talk with dad to see if you might could arrange for y'all to live with him or figure something out.
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Living with my dad? He technically does live at home. his job out west is in a camp site, he does sheet metal working so I wouldn't be able to live with him.
And it is possible to become emancipated but you have to have a full time job. Seeing as I cant even attend school, a job is kind of out of the question.
But thanks to you, I realized that I should probably just sit down and talk with my boyfriends dad.. and try to find a way for us to both just make the best of the living situation.. even if it requires me to leave to the bedroom whenever he comes home..
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:iconsonrie-mucho:
Sonrie-mucho Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Or talk to your own dad- maybe he has better advice for you, his daughter.
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Nope.. He is one of those people in denial..
My sister is the one who put my mom away to begin with, and my dad took her out because shes fine, even though she did something really really bad.. :/
So, now everytime I try to talk to him he just ignores or yells at me, and then takes my mom and I shopping.
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:icongreentofu:
greentofu Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Meditation is the key to fight depression. Once you find inner peace , then you shall find the answer you were looking for.
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Being honest or just joking... ? I've never known anyone that has done meditation so I wouldn't really know...
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:icongreentofu:
greentofu Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I was actually being serious.

The mind can do a lot of things.
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Might be worth a shot..
I tried yoga when I was younger and it helps a bit.. Really relaxing, and I've seen some youtube videos with people doing meditionation and seems helpful.
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:icongreentofu:
greentofu Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Good luck with it !

May the force be with you.
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
haha thanks then.
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:iconladyzelda1:
LadyZelda1 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
Ok, I have a question. You are 16 and have a son that is stealing food, beating on people, and biting and other things. Seems the age to be able to do those things would be 9 or 10. So how old are you really? Nice attempt at a troll post though.
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You seriously think that I would risk how my friends and deviant watchers see me just for a sick joke?
That's ridiculous, you need to understand that there are quite a few people dealing with teen pregnancy and a troublesome toddler...
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm not trolling, I really am only 16..
By stealing food I mean you just fed him a huge supper, take him out of his high chair and then try to eat your own food and he comes over and takes all the food off your plate ans throws it on the ground..

By beating on people and biting, I means he comes over to you and starts hitting and biting.. Have you ever dealt with a toddler?
My boyfriend's dad keeps teaching him that it's funny if you hit people... :/
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
also, my mom is at home again.. but the house if full of fecies and nothing gets cleaned.. and there is rotten food everywhere..

And to deal with money.. my dad is with a VERY high paying job and we get up to 300 a week, sometimes more.. My dad makes like over 2000 a week..
My boyfriends dad makes only 1000 a month after drugs..
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:iconjessieiii:
jessieiii Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Just added the money thing incase people said we were free loading off of my boyfriends dad..

Not even so, we pay for almsot every bit of food that even comes in this home, and extra stuff.. He's also borrrowing money a lot..
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