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November 19, 2012


Replies: 22

Too many people getting the wrong impression.

veronicarockstrom Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
So it's my first semester of college, and seeing at it was a completely fresh start, I've resolved to change my attitude towards every day things. In high school, I was a total bitch. I never dated anyone unless I made the first moved and expressed explicit interest. That always suited me fine, but I didn't like how most other people usually thought very negatively of me.

Now I'm in college, and I wanted to change that. I don't get mad at hardly anything, and it's rare people see me when I'm not smiling. I'm a beacon of sunshine and pixie dust! (This is me trying to say I'm friendly.) Before continuing into this next part, I'd like to make it clear that I do not dress provocatively, or anything like that. I never wear shorts, or short skirts, and I never reveal cleavage. Anyhoot, I've noticed a problem, that I'm pretty sure isn't related to my outward appearance. Just being friendly has spawned several different people expressing interest with me, and flirting with me, asking me out for coffee, but I'm not interested in the slightest. With most of these people, simply telling them "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in you" works, and they drop the issue.

There is one guy however, who is beginning to creep me out. He's not getting the message. One day out of nowhere he texts me (I'm still not sure how he got my number) saying that he really likes me and would like to go out with me. Naturally I was like "Uhh, what? No, this is random, and I'm not interested." He seemed to handle rejection pretty decently, under three hours later he texts me this long epic poem about how I've destroyed his fragile little heart, and how I was "THE ONE." This is really creepy, and not helping his (already nonexistent) chances. Then, one day I was driving home from class, and he pulls up next to me, honks, waves at me, and drives away. I know he lives on the other side of town, so I'm concerned that he followed me home. He'll also send me several texts a day, none of which I EVER respond to, and they are also usually followed up by a long, creepy poem. I've started being bitchy towards him to try and get him to stop, but he's really freaking me out.

I don't want this to escalate, and I don't want to attract any more weirdo's. Is there a way I can just be a nice person without every person on the planet thinking I wanna be their fuck-puppet?!

Bonus issue: And to boot, this crap is definitely making me more of a lesbian than just bisexual, and I'm too shy to flirt with women. Being a semi-lipstick is hard sometimes.

TL;DR: get out of HWL if you aren't going to read this.

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Devious Comments

shogun3540 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Professional Artist
rape him! then he'll stop for sure and i mean rape...... prison rape the shit out of him. use a bottle!
LadyData Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you can always change your phone number or call the police on him if he continues to stalk you =D
IkaritheReaper Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
I would go to the the administration office on campus. If he's harassing you, you are well within your rights to report him. If they refuse to do anything about it or he persists, contact the proper authorities. I'm surprised not many people on here have come up with that conclusion. May I suggest you do it quickly. Finals are in 3 weeks, so time is essential.
Amanda-Graham Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Professional Writer
hmmm @ your next to last assertion ... *sigh* i've lost jobs, gotten in physical fights, moved homes, called police, applied my stun phone and night stick (a bat), cursed aloud in public, thrown rocks ... and even stabbed one male who came on too strong and was too stupid to NOT listen to my NO YOU ASSHOLE FUCK OFFs *shrug*

a simple way to accomplish rejecting without going through even the approach of the suitor ... fart alot? stop brushing your teeth and eat bad smelling foods?

in all seriousness I never found a way except to exit from society ... men prey upon women in this world, and unfortuneately i have found that some gay women do the same ...

and a nunnery is no assurance that the same won't occur there ... train yourself in combat fighting, if possible arm yourself to the limits of the law in whatever country you reside in (didn't check your profile ... bah @ me) learn to use every weapon you can including those you are never likely to have handy (atom bomb anyone? I'M prepared to use it)

music for your distraction and inspiration ... [link]
kemcar Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
You are not responsible for any of this and looking at the way you have transformed yourself, I support you. Its always better to be a nice person, but this does not mean that people will disturb you. However I would advice you to try handling this on your own, but if things refuse to change then don't be late and take parental help, they will definitely help you out.
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
No, there will always be stupid people who interpret your kindness as you being interested in them. Tell him his behaviour is inappropriate, that you are not interested and will never be interested. Block his number.
FeralTao Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
It is hard, I don't understand how some guys function. And there will always be creeps who seem to live in their own fantasy world, some of it are legitimately sick people who need professional help, some are just plain off and don't get social interaction. And that is actually nothing you have control over. You're guilty of the crime of being female and pretty and for that some half-assed excuses for men will assume you owe them something. There's little to do other than to hang out with the good ones (who are a majority) and walk away from the creeps (and if they follow you, have that pepperspray at hand).

About the "tortured poet":

Suggestion: Explain to him one last time that you are not interested in him and will never be, no matter how many texts he sends, whatever he might've perceived as interest is just basic human friendliness and doesn't make him the least bit exclusive as you are like that with everyone. You just want him to leave you alone as he is making you plain uncomfortable and should he not stop to harass you, you will not hesistate to involve the police. This is serious business.

I know one is not "supposed to" provoke or escalate but obviously this guy can't understand nor respect a no so perhaps it's time to raise the bar a couple of levels to make him understand that you're not playing a game - this is very serious and you WILL have your private space private.

Best of luck. Hopefully it doesn't have to get all that dramatic, but better safe than sorry.
veronicarockstrom Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Explain to him one last time that you are not interested in him and will never be, no matter how many texts he sends, whatever he might've perceived as interest is just basic human friendliness and doesn't make him the least bit exclusive as you are like that with everyone.

This is what I can't seem to get accross to people. I love how you've worded it, and I think I might quote it word for word when I confront him.
FeralTao Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
That's a very nice compliment, thank you. :) I don't know how to really get that across to people, I attend classes with mainly guys and university section parties with mainly guys so I try to limit my "girlish" displays of friendliness and use more of the kind of humour and language they use between themselves and also make clear that I do not hug - I shake hands, period. That seems to take the edge of it and I doubt any of them really reflect about it anymore.
Starlit-Sorceress Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
It's not your fault. You found a part of yourself you needed to change, and you did it. It sounds like you're a really nice person. Don't let a stalker make you want to change your personality. He's a weirdo, and if he was attracted to you, he would stalk you no matter how you acted.

(None of the normal guys had a problem with this, right? You're nice to everyone, they ask you out, you say no, they say okay, and you can keep being nice in peace.)

Tell him flat out that he's CREEPING you out, and if he doesn't stop NOW, you WILL get a restraining order.

This doesn't have to be a bluff!

I've never had to get a restraining order before, but I imagine it would be pretty easy. Especially if you play up the fact that you're a freshman girl. (New to living on your own and scared and vulnerable)

Tell the police:

a) He was hitting on you.
b) You sent him a text containing the words: "Uhh, what? No, this is random, and I'm not interested."
c) He kept hitting on you.
d) He honked his horn at you late at night, and you're reeeeally worried he was following you home.
e) Mention you're a freshman again.
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