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November 19, 2012
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So there's this guy...

:iconavictoriay:
AvictoriaY Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Digital Artist
So I've fallen head over heels for this guy. He's just absolutely perfect and we've been dating but he made it clear to me that we're not "officially girlfriend and boyfriend" yet. We have a great time when we hang out and all.. but then when I text him, it's almost as if he doesn't wanna talk to me :/ It didn't used to be that way. Before we started "going out", he would treat me as if I were some princess, but after we started hanging out, he started acting different. It makes me worried that maybe I'm not the girl he expected me to be, which hurts :( Maybe I'm overreacting but something's not right.

I know this is about to sound really snobby and arrogant and I'm ashamed to say it, but with my past boyfriends, I've always had a sense of security with them because I knew that they liked me more than I liked them. I felt like I was in control of the relationship. But now, it's different. I'm not in control of anything because this guy seems almost out of my reach, which is one of the many reasons I don't wanna lose him.

My friend brought up an idea that I never realized. She said that maybe he thinks that we're in a casual kind of relationship and that it's ok to see others, which I'm not ok with. I want to confront him about it, but then I worry that I'm rushing him because he seems to want to take things slowly. I know this guy's a good one because he's got me freaking out and overanalyzing everything :/ I think I'm going crazy.
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Devious Comments

:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
Aw, how sweet you are in lust.
Ask him for a date.
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:iconravynnenevyrmore:
RavynneNevyrmore Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I know this guy's a good one because he's got me freaking out and overanalyzing everything :/

If he was a good one he would make you feel like you're amazing, not make you feel insecure.


Keep your options open. :shrug: Don't depend on this guy so much.
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:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
well it's because he has you now. Men like the thrill of the chase and they want what they can't have so you need to stop making yourself so available to this guy. Maybe you come across as clingy to him? Either way, I would stop contacting him until he gets back to you. Don't respond right away either, you don't want him to know that you're waiting for him to call/text/whatever. If this guy has any interest in you at all he will contact you, but on his time.

I must also add that it sounds like you're more into him than he is into you. Been there before and it fucking stings like a bitch. The best thing you can do right now is find other things to get involved with. distract yourself from this guy and see just how far he goes to pursue you. Men like the chase, so give him something to chase after.
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:iconavictoriay:
AvictoriaY Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I definitely plan to try that. thank you :)
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:iconnosugarjustanger:
nosugarjustanger Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
Men behave differently when they're trying to get you, and when they do, they tend to relax a little and not seem to be too "eager" or interested anymore. That's normal.
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:iconavictoriay:
AvictoriaY Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
haha this is true. thanks :)
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:iconslave2karma:
Slave2Karma Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
If this guy says you're not officially boyfriend and girlfriend, and if he never responds to your texts...sounds a little far from 'absolutely perfect' to me.

If it were me, that would be enough for me to lose interest in a dude--no matter how 'perfect' they seemed. That's just me though--but if you want to make this relationship work, it sounds like something you need to talk to him about. The longer you put it off, the harder it will be to get it out in the open, and the more it will hurt if it turns out he just wants to date casually.
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:iconavictoriay:
AvictoriaY Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I suppose. Thanks for the advice :)
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:iconslave2karma:
Slave2Karma Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
^_^
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:iconkhirate:
Khirate Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My friends say that I tend to be either extremely vague or painfully blunt. In your case, I would just go ahead with being painfully blunt, because I don't see how beating around the bush will get anywhere. If you ask him straight out about it, then you'll get a straight answer. If it's not what you wanted....well, the world won't end. It'll be all right. ^.^
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:iconavictoriay:
AvictoriaY Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Digital Artist
This is true. I guess I'm just scared of the outcome. But thanks :)
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:iconkhirate:
Khirate Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
^.^
Haha, it makes sense to be scared of that. Remember though, try not to freak out too much. Stressing about it won't change the outcome. It's hard to stop being scared, but it'll be all right! ;)
Np.
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:iconavictoriay:
AvictoriaY Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Digital Artist
It is very hard :/ but I'll manage :)
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:iconkhirate:
Khirate Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
>.<
I wish you the best! ^.^
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:iconmew-sumomo:
Mew-Sumomo Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student General Artist
I would probably be blunt with him and ask him where the two of you stand, if anything.
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:iconavictoriay:
AvictoriaY Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I'm dying to, I suppose I should
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:icondj0hybrid:
DJ0Hybrid Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Maybe he isn't overly fond of texting (now.)
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:iconavictoriay:
AvictoriaY Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Digital Artist
This may be true. Yet it's still kinda weird :/
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:iconcherylblanche:
CherylBlanche Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Oh I forgot to mention.
Seeing as you couldn't take him seeing others, you should let him know that you can't convene to that.
It's been long enough for you to care, that means he should agree to that much by this point, or he never will feel strongly about you, even if he may be unsure to an extent for now.
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:iconcherylblanche:
CherylBlanche Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
1. He also may have been nice until you got in his reach, then decided he doesn't have to be anymore.

2. If he's mad/annoyed with you, you'd want to recall which instances he made it apparent he was, and think whether he might have cared about them more than you thought. Have you ever imposed on him, and maybe forced his hand? You might not have noticed an instance when him agreeing wasn't liking it even if he did.

3. I've met some guys that treat you seemingly nice then want sexual favors as a "reward", and they don't necessarily hint to it before so it can be pretty surprising. If he's like that then when he didn't get it he realized you're not that easy and therefore worth the trouble in his view.

4. He might consider you're not really into him and are interested in another dude and he's emotionally distancing himself before he has to deal with an impending break up.

5. You said he seems to want to take things slow. Did you ever want to go far with him in a way that might've surprised him and made a bad impression?

6. You don't have to go crazy to know you love someone lol. That and there's plenty people desperate in love with ones that don't even deserve it.

7. This is all a ploy to make himself valuable to you by playing hard to get.

8. He was only checking you out, acted nice to get you to agree to it, and now he's analyzing or has already analyzed you and is unsure or finds you ok only.

9. He didn't like the subjects you raised in your texts.

10. You texted at a bad time.

11. He's keeping you as some sort of back up in case the girl that's his first choice doesn't accept him.

Those are all the alternatives I could think of. ^
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:iconavictoriay:
AvictoriaY Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Digital Artist
1. That would suck -__-
2. Not really, we've held hands and cuddled and whatnot but he's always been the one to take the initiative to do it.
3. Aw geez, that's no good.
4. :( That's not true at all.
5. If you mean sexually, no. He's met a few of my family members and friends but I don't think that's really moving forward too much.
6. You're right :) lol
7. That is the one way to push me away actually :/
8. Hmm :/
9. That's a possibility.
10. Could be true, although he never seems to be doing anything.
11. That would kill me :(

Nonetheless, these are all very likely possibilities. Thank you for the advice :)
And I do plan on confronting him eventually....although I'm dreading that conversation -__-
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:iconcherylblanche:
CherylBlanche Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
About 4, he might think so even if it isn't true.
Good luck. (:
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:iconavictoriay:
AvictoriaY Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
alright I'll clear that up. lol thanks :)
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:iconskuldier:
Skuldier Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
If you're not "officially girlfriend and boyfriend" yet, then your friend is probably right. He probably wants the option to date other people still.

It seems odd that he's suddenly so aloof with you after you started dating. Maybe he realized that he didn't want to date you as much as he thought he did? Have YOU been acting different?
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:iconavictoriay:
AvictoriaY Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Digital Artist
It is kinda odd :/ I don't think I've been acting different
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