Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Details

Closed to new replies
November 18, 2012
Link

Statistics

Replies: 52

Need advice, please... I don't know what to do

:iconsunnyeclipse:
SunnyEclipse Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
Hi. I don't want to make a long story, but here is my situation...
It is about my boyfriend. He is 18 and I am 15. He tells me occasionally about how he think I'm a nice person and that I'm pretty, and we usually play videogames and other stuff together. He's also very, very cute imo and hilarious. However, he's rude to people, and a huge pervert... he doesn't know how many girls he's, err, had intercourse with before, which disturbs me a bit when he tells me some stories about experiences he's had, and what he'd like to have with me when I'm ready for it.

We are long-distance. I met him though an online game I play a lot, and we talked through voice-chat while playing. Someone also talking with us began to bring up weird topics and sexually harass me for being a female gamer, etc. My bf stood up for me... and got me out of the situation. We kinda became slight friends after that. Net day, we started talking about more personal things between each other and connected a whole bunch. We started crushing... talking to each other every day... we admitted to how we liked each other.

He told me about how his parents used to abuse him, and about all the bast gfs he's had, half of them cheating on him. I want to make him happy and made a promise things were going to be better for him from now on.

But... I get so awkward around him. I never know what to say anymore unless we're playing games, unlike with the rest of my close friends where we can chat so easily. His perverted comments make me feel more and more... like he doesn't appreciate what kind of girl I am, rather the fact that I have boobs+vagina. I wouldn't mind it if he didn't bring it up everyday, or if we could start a topic without talking about that stuff... which I'm not interested in yet... at all.

I think sex is gross right now. He's done it more times than he could keep track of. Idk, overall, I care a lot about him... but I don't know what to think anymore. He says that it's not all he thinks about, but that's all he says. I am afraid to open up to him about my feelings, because I get awkward... and only awkward around /him/. It is awful, I love him very much, but I don't understand if I'm just being childish or not. Maybe selfish...


I posted this on an account 3 years older than my main. Please comment.
Reply

You can no longer comment on this thread as it was closed due to no activity for a month.

Devious Comments

:iconmangekyomarie:
MangekyoMarie Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Okay... I have been in your exact situation. Met a guy online, he had many previous gf's/sex partners that cheated on him and his family life sucks. Moving on to the topic of being a virgin with a boyfriend who has had sex. has had sex a lot. has experience in the bed... you get the idea. Moving on...

1.) Make sure this guy is legit, not some online creep aka sex offender.

2.) If he loves you, he'll wait. You do realize eventually you have to reward him for waiting though, don't you? MEN WANT SEX, from age 13 and sometimes younger. Cyber and phone sex even makes em happy. Men are perverted and male virgins are hard to come by.

3.) If it bothers you to talk about sex, tell him. "Can we please talk about something other than sex, please" thats an honest relationship. If the relationship only has lust and no love... IT WILL FAIL.

Sorry to be blunt. He'll understand it's awkward and annoying you and if he loves you and wants to stay with you, he'll do it. You have the power, not the man. Remember that. Good luck.
Reply
:iconsmileyvizard:
SmileyVizard Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Have you ever met this guy in person? Do you know what he looks like? Or does he only know what you look like?
Now, not to sound like an old person preaching, because, y'know, I'm 15, too, but I think the age difference between you might be part of the problem. He's 18, so for someone his age to constantly act like a perv is common (going from experience), considering it seems mostly what guys ages 15+ think about is just banging chicks. (not saying you can't date guys older than you— that's your choice and not anyone else's. But you have to keep in mind that someone older than you— as in, three years older and up— might try and take advantage of you.)
But, the fact that he keeps bringing it up is kinda creepy to me, and if I were you, I'd be suspicious. If he keeps bringing it up, you can be 90% sure that's all he wants from you... I'm sorry to have to tell you that...
Reply
:iconeuterpe-the-egret:
Euterpe-The-Egret Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
How do your parents feel about this situation? If you are hiding it from them, it is a good chance that it isn't the right thing to do.
Reply
:iconeuterpe-the-egret:
Euterpe-The-Egret Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
"You do know a lot of sexual predators hang on line trying to meet girls that they can have sex with. The fact that you have never seen this guy, and he is talking like a pervert to you should raise a red flag or two. If I were you I would break off all contact with him, because before long he will be pressing to meet you and then your face will wind up on a milk carton."

:iconthisplz::iconthisplz::iconthisplz::iconthisplz::iconthisplz::iconthisplz::iconthisplz::iconthisplz::iconthisplz::iconthisplz::iconthisplz::iconthisplz:
Reply
:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
You do know a lot of sexual predators hang on line trying to meet girls that they can have sex with. The fact that you have never seen this guy, and he is talking like a pervert to you should raise a red flag or two. If I were you I would break off all contact with him, because before long he will be pressing to meet you and then your face will wind up on a milk carton.
Reply
:icontashawnmc:
TaShawnMC Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Let me just say my little sister is 15, and if I found out she met an 18 year old online and started dating him, and he even THINKS about sex with her, I'd track him down and castrate him. But that's just cos she's my sister. Alot of my friends have found older guys in similar situations..(chatrooms blah) And I don't think I could ever agree with that... but that's their business. So I won't judge. I think you should find someone you have more in common with... There's an obvious age difference so you guys probably have different things on your mind... But if sex is all he can think about, then he may eventually try to convince you to do it. (Which is just a horrible idea for a highschooler, trust me.) And since you're not yet 16, he could go to jail, and be labeled a pedo... Plus you don't know what diseases this boy has...
Honestly I say drop him. Meet someone in real life you can connect with. I don't believe the "love" you feel now, can last forever... you're still young, you'll make so many more mistakes before you graduate. But don't make letting some guy you have like nothing in common with, who brags about sex to a 15 year old, take up time you could've spent on finding another more decent guy who'll respect and wait for you be one of them. You could always just talk to your parents.... they may no be happy about it...(i know I wouldn't) But they could probably offer you the best advice.
Reply
:iconsunnyeclipse:
SunnyEclipse Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Haha X'D I'd probably be very mad at my own sister... if she did such a thing...

I don't find many men I'm attracted to. He's the only one I've really become close to before, and have thought about so often... but, I will try to talk to him...

If he doesn't like me after I open up, I just don't know what I'll do or how our relationship will go. I at least really, really want to stick as a close friend of his.

Lol too scared of my parents sorry haha
Reply
:icontashawnmc:
TaShawnMC Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
"I don't find many men I'm attracted to. He's the only one I've really become close to before..." Trust me, someone WILL come along. If not, go find a guy. He may be cute, and you may play the same game... but if you can't really relate to him otherwise, then there's probably no reason you should be together.

"If he doesn't like me after I open up, I just don't know what I'll do or how our relationship will go. I at least really, really want to stick as a close friend of his." I'd say break it off with him. No guy is worth the trouble. And if he's not okay with just being friends, then drop him all together.

"Lol too scared of my parents sorry haha" I understand that. :) but never rule them out as an option. It's better they trust you to come to them in a time of need, than to make bad choices and come to them after the fact. Parents always want what's best for their kids. This may sound like a cliche thing to say, but it's true. My sister was walking down our neighborhood at 12 in the morning one time with her friend(we have 1 light on our street) and my mom was sooo mad at her, she was grounded for weeks. And my sister was pissed at her. But my mom was only looking out for her. Should she have done that at the wrong time, and we could've never seen her again. These are the things they truly worry about.
Reply
:iconadamjamescooper:
adamjamescooper Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Professional Interface Designer
If I were you, I'd get out of that relationship. You're young and have a lot of time to find someone who's right for you, but this guy looks like he's not only going to take your time, but also destroy your confidence.
Reply
:iconferaltao:
FeralTao Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
This guy has a big ego and it will show in your relationship, especially when you'll have arguments. If you think he respects you, confront him about how his perverted attitude and rude comments are making you uncomfortable and say that you might never feel "ready" for sex with him and see how he reacts. THEN you'll know whether he respects you or not.

Turning 18 is not magically going to make you "ready for responsible sex" or more resistant to selfish coercion and manipulative behaviour unless you practice self-respect early on. If you turn 18 and still don't feel that this guy is responsible or trustworthy enough to have sex with, will he be cool with that, or will that be a big deal, like you're just a "future investment" for him? I'd think real hard about that if I were you.

You seem to feel for him because you "saved" him, but in all his past "bad" relationships he's been the common denominator. That is also something to think about. He might think he's been super-duper-nice and wonderful while he's actually been overbearing and putting his girlfriends on uncomfortable piedestals. Even if he did get treated bad by bad people all those times, it's still something for him to work out and putting up with bad behaviour from him because you pity him will put you in a really, really bad place.
Reply
:iconsunnyeclipse:
SunnyEclipse Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
My only issue is, exactly, how to bring up such a topic and how to express myself.
I know for a fact that relationships can't live without sex, I've never heard of any who haven't had some sexual contact and kept their relationships/marriage going successfully. I've been hoping for a long time I'd be able to understand what all of the kids at my highschool are so attracted to and crave, I don't know what specific age I'm supposed to feel like such. I feel like a freak and I believe he'll find me a freak for not wanting such in a few years, if I'm not ready by then to open myself up to him.

I've put that into consideration lately. He doesn't like to share much about his past gfs, and I don't know any of them. I hate to sacrifice things for people I feel bad for, but I'll admit that I do it all the time and only screw things up.

Thank you for helping me.
Reply
:iconrobo-shark:
Robo-Shark Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Actually asexuals often have completely happy relationships with zero sex. It's possible, and while those things can change, there's nothing wrong with simply not being interested. The right person will be compatible with your needs. You're 15, I'd hope most 15 year olds weren't going around having sex, but I guess times are changing, heh. I'm 25 and still a virgin so don't feel bad about not understanding it, you don't have to have sex to have love and you CERTAINLY don't have to even be worried about it when you're in high school.

If this guy is actually a good person who's worthy of your love, he won't think you're a freak for any reason, and he certainly will respect it if you tell him that his constant perverted comments make you uncomfortable and you'd prefer it if he didn't constantly bombard you with them. There's so much to share together, why should it always be sex?

Relationships with people you feel bad for often don't end well. My last girlfriend was great at guilt-tripping me into feeling sorry for her and it's not a healthy way to connect with someone. Just be careful, seeing as he is pushing a lot of things on you when you are underage - it just sounds like trouble already, and as nice and friendly as someone can seem, there are people who are very good emotional manipulators who will take advantage of anybody they can get close to. The fact that he's had so many girlfriends and sexual partners that he can't remember them all is saying something about the kind of person he is. Not saying he's necessarily a bad guy, but it's easy to be too trusting when all you can think about is your love for him. D:
Reply
:iconferaltao:
FeralTao Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
You're not really supposed to feel like anything. Sex is something very individual, for you I think, me and many other people, something you only share with people you trust and feel safe with. It doesn't have to be the love of your life or a partner at all, but it has to somebody you can open up to without regrets. There is nothing strange about you at all for not feeling like "SEX NOW!", no matter what age you're at. It's on him for not listening and communicating properly. You guys might be compatible enough for a long distance relationship but not for something more intimate than that. We just connect differently with different people.

There is nothing strange or "freakish" about that at all. And you should never, ever have sex just because it feels like others expect it of you, it's seriously detrimental to your mental well-being and can stalk you for years. Even if you guys have a relationship, there still are boundaries within that relationship and you have no "obligation" to give up your integrity or emotional comfort to anyone -ever.

I would be careful to say that "relationships can't live without sex", it is not quite truly put. Relationships can't live without mutually honest and open communication, the kind where you can talk about any concerns or feelings you have without feeling shame or hiding it from the other person.

In a healthy and mutually trusting relationship with a person you're attracted to, you probably will want to be intimate (which doesn't necessarily mean sex either). Having hidden troubles and unhappinesses kills sexdrive like nothing else, so while there might be a lack of sex in a relationship, in almost every case it's the troubles in communication and understanding that ultimately kill it.

I just feel genuinely concerned that you'll end up getting pressured, whined or manipulated into doing something which will later make you feel bad for a very long time, as I did. Better wait too long and for the right person than "settling" when it could be so much better. :/
Reply
:iconsquishhheh:
Squishhheh Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
A relationship will only work if both parties have mutual respect for one another. If you are not ready for sex, do not appreciate his pervy comments, and do not feel comfortable when he talks about sex or women in a derogatory way then you MUST tell him and if he doesn't respect that or continues with the behaviour then he wont respect you. Do not stay in a relationship that in the long run will be detrimental to you. If he has feelings for you he will respect your feelings on the subject.

You have to ask yourself are you more in love with the thought of being in a relationship.. rather than being with him?
There are so so many nice guys out there that would treat you amazingly, never settle for someone that doesn't respect you!

I personally don't believe its got much to do with age, its to do with respect, my best friend is 18 and is seeing a guy that is 29 and they are perfect together he treats her so well and really respects and cares for her (despite my own initial reservations on him!)

Do what is right for you, but respect yourself enough to know what you deserve and if he doesn't respect you, he doesn't deserve you.

Good luck! :)
Reply
:iconxyires:
Xyires Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Personally I would avoid that kind of person. As stated, an 18 yr old guy going with 14-16 yr olds tend to not work out well, I'd try and lose him or just be normal friends with him before it goes too far.
Reply
:iconshadee:
shadee Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Talk to him and tell him it makes you uncomfortable. If you're afraid of his reaction to you expressing your feelings then what kind of relationship is it anyway?
Imagine being stuck in that in the future, never being able to voice your opinion when you're unhappy, that's nuts. If he does react badly to it then you'll know you're better off breaking it off and spare yourself a miserable future with him but who knows, he might surprise you. Communication and honesty really are major parts in the foundation of a relationship.
Reply
:iconsunnyeclipse:
SunnyEclipse Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Thanks a lot. I'll try.
Reply
:iconpatt-ytto:
Patt-Ytto Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
I am afraid you are a bit young and confused. Honestly, if he talks about sexual experiences he's had with other people to you, a minor, he is a very... Weird human. I'd stay away from him as much as possible. I mean seriously, aggresiveness, prone to perversion, and the other things you said? Instant red flags, abandon area.
Reply
:iconsolum-ipsum:
Solum-Ipsum Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
A relationship can't last long without honesty, especially not distant relations. Men are generally very simple, they don't imagine things further than the next step. He's probably like "Man, this girl's amazing! I'd so make her feel good!" but then there's the responsibility and respect that "She doesn't want it, so I'll try to bear this a little longer."

He's in the age when sex is everything inside and around for him: this is a casual topic for him in school and with buddies right now, one saying "snake" and both thinking of "penis". He's probably less able to empathize with how you're not interested, especially because boys are much more about physical sexuality than romance. Also remember that his woman-image is scarred and he might think of you as an exceptional girl, who doesn't fit in the line of good-for-one-night "sluts" he had to deal with. It's hard to relate to a royal scepter when all you've handled in your life were crude tools from the farm shed.

I suggest you to talk this over with him, convey your feelings and listen to his, without any special expectations. Currently the gap between you two may be greater in desires than in age or interests, so your relationship has to survive until you feel like making a sacrifice for him. You could freely ask him not to embarrass you with his stories, because you feel like you're being forced to give up your dignity (or whatever may be your reasons; that's for you to think over actually, since I don't know you at all).
Reply
:iconsunnyeclipse:
SunnyEclipse Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Thanks.

He has been interested in sex for a long time. It is not this specific period. But I'll talk to him.
Reply
:iconsolum-ipsum:
Solum-Ipsum Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I started actively thinking about sex as early as the age of 11. Not that it flooded my mind, but by the time I reached the age of 18, I was quite obsessed with it (though I didn't actually do it until I was 22 – I was socially awkward and stuff).
Reply
:iconslippymagnus:
SlippyMagnus Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Let them know that you don't appreciate the sexual innuendos.
Tell them that you don't like what he is saying, and then Un-Befriend them.


That oughtta do the trick, if you're not into him, regardless how cute or funny he is.
Reply
:iconslave2karma:
Slave2Karma Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
My last college roommate met her boyfriend in an online gaming community when she was 14 (they had been long distance until that year she moved to college), and he was a great deal older than her as well. He was also pretty socially awkward, incredibly paranoid that she was cheating on him, and had pushed sexy stuff on her when she was way too young. Throughout the year I lived with her (and we became incredibly close right away) I watched him emotionally manipulate her, invade her privacy, and constantly accuse her of cheating on him. But no matter how bad he made her cry or how much I could see she didn't want to put up with him, she always went back to him--she'd been with him for four years and just like you, had the same 'I don't know if I can leave him or not' mentality. Happy to say she finally broke things off over the summer, but not after wasting her first year of college and missing out on so much fun she could have had were she not being manipulated into spending all her free time with him. (as for her ex, he found a new girlfriend after two weeks).

You are not being childish, you are not being selfish, but you are putting yourself in a position where you could be manipulated, used, and hurt, and put in danger. Trust me, you don't want to be put into that same situation as my friend was and waste years of your life with this jerk. You say you don't know what to talk to him about anymore, that he makes you uncomfortable, do you honestly think that's going to change if you stay with him? Are you willing to spend years of your life being uncomfortable and having nothing to say? Leave this guy NOW before you waste anymore time with him.
Reply
:iconalicexofxdarkland:
AliceXofXdarkland Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
it sounds to me like he's trying to push you into things that you're not ready for. when you are ready you'll know and until you are you should never let anyone pressure you. if you do you may end up regretting it and that can jade your outlook for a long time.

i'm not going to say that you should or shouldn't be with him because that's a choice you have to make on your own, but if you feel uncomfortable that's your instincts way of telling you that something is wrong.
unfortunately in this day and age people will say and do anything to try and get what they want, this generation is growing up to a class manipulators, the trick is learning how to recognise what is genuine and what is a manipulation. just remember, it doesn't have to be a lie to be used to persuade someone.

i wish you the best of luck and hope that you can make the right decision for you. if it turns out to be the wrong one just try and take it as a learning experience and remember for next time. we all make mistakes and bad choices in our lives, it's part of growing up. it's how we deal with it that makes us strong or weak.
Reply
:iconsunnyeclipse:
SunnyEclipse Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Thank you very much for the help. Your comment made me feel a lot better about what I should do.

I am an awful liar. It is depressing I don't know how to trust people anymore because of the fact I'm afraid of being lied to all the time.
Reply
:iconalicexofxdarkland:
AliceXofXdarkland Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome dear.
i really hope that it all works out ok for you.

learning to trust people comes with time. and nobody gets it right 100% of the time. learning to not be afraid of it is the hard part. it's the coping skills you develop for dealing with the aftermath that make or break you.
Reply
:iconart-snob-solutions:
Art-Snob-Solutions Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
18 year olds should NOT be interested in younger girls. Period.
They see young girls (13-16) as play toys. Usually to fuck then leave. To take their virginity as if its a trophy.
I'm sure these sickos get even more off on the idea of taking advantage of desperate for love girls.


This.
Reply
:icondorkface4:
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
If he's rude to people then he doesn't sound like a very nice person... And if his reaction wouldn't be good if you told him no then he sounds like a giant arsehole and you should leave him.
Reply
:iconsunnyeclipse:
SunnyEclipse Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
You're right that... he is a bit of an ass. I just don't know if I can leave him or not. I really like him... he's just too perverted for me.
Reply
:iconeuterpe-the-egret:
Euterpe-The-Egret Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
You can leave him. You will find others and you shouldn't be around those who make you uncomfortable or who don't respect you. You may like him but if he isn't good for you then it he isn't worth your time.

Sadly it seems like he is just using you for his sexual fantasy. :(
Reply
:icondorkface4:
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
You should leave him, even if you really like him. You should be with someone who's a good person, who won't get mad at you for saying no and who's not rude to others. Staying with him is lessening your chances of finding someone decent.
Reply
:iconfuyuko7:
Fuyuko7 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I would leave him if I were you....
Before things get worse
Reply
:iconspookyink:
SpookyInk Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
When I was 15 (I'm 22 now) I dated a 18 year old. Similarish story to yours. Met him online, talked a bunch, etc. He'd make me feel good with compliments but all our conversations ended to be very sexual. It was always him to start it too. I was to shy and didn't know how to say no.
After a lil bit we hung out, this is where it went downhill. Watched a movie downstairs and he decided to get personal. He forced me to have sex with him several times. I only did it because I thought I loved him and thought he loved me.
Turns out he used me for sex then dumped me right after. He went on to other young girls doing the same thing.

Overall, it was a huge mistake.

18 year olds should NOT be interested in younger girls. Period.
They see young girls (13-16) as play toys. Usually to fuck then leave. To take their virginity as if its a trophy.
I'm sure these sickos get even more off on the idea of taking advantage of desperate for love girls.


Remove contact with him. It's obvious he doesn't respect you and your views of sex. Your uncomfortable but he keeps pushing it further and further. Do you two cyber sex even if you dont want to?

This all just brings me back to my experience and I can honestly say, do not try to change him. He won't change and he will only spew lies to your face to manipulate you.
Save yourself before he truly uses you.
I can easily see if you meet up with him that he will push sex on you until you cave.
Just leave this guy no matter what.
Reply
:iconsolarlunix:
SolarLunix Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012   Traditional Artist
:huggle: If we could go back, am I right?
Reply
:iconspookyink:
SpookyInk Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
indeed.

Though I've had many dreams about going back in time.
I'd be a complete whore. Wouldn't change the events but I would dominate them instead so the heavy burden of being used would be on them.
Reply
:iconsolarlunix:
SolarLunix Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012   Traditional Artist
That's one way to go. It'd be an interesting story to write honestly... *ponders*
Reply
:iconspookyink:
SpookyInk Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Very. :nod:
Reply
:iconsolarlunix:
SolarLunix Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012   Traditional Artist
If you ever wanna co-author it, lemme know ;)
Reply
:iconspookyink:
SpookyInk Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Just as long as I get paid lol
Reply
:iconsolarlunix:
SolarLunix Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012   Traditional Artist
If we manage I think we'll get like 25 cents a book sold
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsunnyeclipse:
SunnyEclipse Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
I'm very sorry to hear about your past experience. It sounds like you had a rough time...
All we can do is pity such people like him, I guess.

He tells me he wishes I was older aha. I think it's a little odd with the age difference sometimes... I know men are more sexually influenced than women.
I don't want to remove him from my life. He does respect me, even if I feel like he takes me for granted sometimes. We are waiting until I'm older, 18, if we get that far, to do anything. He doesn't try to push anything on me when we're talking about sexual things, I just can't express that I don't like those subjects because I'm afraid he's going to judge me for it.

I truly think he is a nice guy... but, yes, I'm very afraid he's going to make me cave in if we ever see each other. I'm hoping that, when I get older I'll be ready, since I'm still just a teen. But, if I'm not, idk what his reaction would be if I told him no... I know it wouldn't be good. Which is the reason I've been worried lately.

We met... at a point where he was suicidal, from an experience he had w/ his last girlfriend... I helped him through it. I'm also afraid for him. Idk, I'm sorry for troubling you
Reply
:iconspookyink:
SpookyInk Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
All I can see is that he pulls you in with these stories about hardship in his life. So you can pity him and see him as an "emotional" or just "a nice guy" when its really a manipulative plan to keep you emotionally attached. That way he can use it to his advantage.

Please start learning how to say no. I've been raped, molested, used by close male friends because I couldn't say no to them even though I screamed it in my head.

Unfortunately, chances are you won't believe a word I say that is negative about this guy simply because he has you tied around his finger.
You'll learn when he does end up using you I suppose.
Hopefully it won't end up like that.
Reply
:iconsunnyeclipse:
SunnyEclipse Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
His stories are very one-sided. I have thought very hard about what he's said, and I can tell he is hiding certain things from all the advice people have given me now... though, I cannot flatly assume he is a liar in all views of his stories.
I have been wary about him, I don't trust anyone to full extent... I just don't know how to express yourself, or say 'no', like you've mentioned. I'd love to learn someday, or sometime soon, but I'm always afraid of being judged, which is really my own fault but I have no idea how to do elsewise but hold it all in.

I want to trust him, and I want to trust all the people who have commented here.
I will definitely keep your advice in mind.
Reply
:iconeuterpe-the-egret:
Euterpe-The-Egret Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I would listen to SpookyInk. She has an extremely good point. Your BF seems manipulative and not very good for you.
Reply
Add a Comment: