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November 18, 2012
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Getting a girlfriend?

:iconairlessthegoose:
AIRLESSTHEGOOSE Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I've been at this for so long, I go to dances, I talk to every girl I know, and it just dosen't work out. Never. It's like every girl I meet just seems to turn me down. Is it me? I try to be nice and normal, giving small compliments and just having nice small talk. They always walk away, and I'm afraid that even if I do get a girlfriend, it won't last long because of my interests (Pokemon, manga, video games, playing card games like Pokemon and Magic, rock/metal music, etc). Is it me? I'm starting to think so....its tough because all of my friends are getting girlfriends left and right. Can anybody help me a little?
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:icongrishhak:
Grishhak Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well, a few thoughts from a girl:

First, you sound boring. Guys that give compliments out so freely and try to be nice etc. are, in my opinion, just nothing I notice. Of course, it also depends on the compliment. "You look beautiful, nice dress etc." will never get me interested in someone. I tend to get the same one from strangers about my front teeth, which stand apart a bit (something not normally thought of as beautiful), that they think it is cute. I like that one, because it is really a compliment and says "there is someone actually finding somethinga bout you cute, that others won't even notice (or find cute...)"
But I'd still say: don't do compliments because you want to say something nice. It's creepy. If something really takes away your breath, you will compliment it without thinking about it and that is what a compliment should be.

Secound, your interests: "Pokemon, manga, video games, playing card games like Pokemon and Magic, rock/metal music, etc" What's wrong with them? My most faved dev here is a pokemon fanart... I'm not quite sure why you think your interests are that "male". They aren't. But please, please tell me you don't start a conversation with a nice girl with "well, which starter-pokemon would YOU choose?"!!!!!! Pokemon is simply one of the most uninteresting topics in life ever to be thought of. What about talking about her and yourself etc? I can't say what you actually should talk about but my husband and I both love card-games like pokemon and magic, but we talked about that after a few MONTH of beeing together because there where so much better topics. If you really just can come up with pokemon etc. maybe you should think if you really want to have a relationship now. (I guess you're rather young)

Third: How old are you actually? I guess that you're pretty young. So I don't understand why you want a girlfriend so desperately. I was 19 when I got a relationship that lasted. And I was very quick. None of the relationships my classmates were in lasted for longer than a year. My mother started to go out with my father when she was 22. Most of my friends are between 22 and 30 now and neraly 2/3 of them don't have a boy/girlfriend. There are much more important thinks in life than a girlfriend. Like Life, for example.

One day, you'll find her, but stop searching and enjoy life as it is. There are so many things you can do without a girlfriend (flirting with sexy barmaids etc.), just enjoy your life.

Oh, and a cup of coffe never hurt any girl ;-)
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:iconlightning-13:
lightning-13 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Professional General Artist
Yeah... there is nothing wrong with those interests of yours, but I'm almost positive that no girl has completely the same interests he he, and it's certainly not the best way to begin a conversation with. I suggest that you start by becoming friends, talk about school? job? dreams? future? sports? movies? Girls like to talk, so simply, talk:) don't talk too much though, be a good listener too. Just let it come naturally, so what if your friends have girlfriends, it's not a competition, when the time is right, you will find a girlfriend.
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:iconredpandabear97:
redpandabear97 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Find someone who is into the same things you're into. If they don't like you for who you are and what you do, they're not worth it. Everyone is different in their own way and that's what makes us humans. Try not to rush into getting a girlfriend or else you'll end up in a bad situation. Trust me, I know. If they want you then you will know. Just keep living life one step at a time!
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:iconairlessthegoose:
AIRLESSTHEGOOSE Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the advice :3 I will definitely remember this! <3
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:iconredpandabear97:
redpandabear97 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem! :) Never forget it! lol
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:iconshogun3540:
shogun3540 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Professional Artist
you have childrens interests (cept the metal thing)
just dont say what you're into except for the music.
and you'll be knee deep in pussy! but go for emo and
goth chicks, they like ll that pokemon shit, mine does.
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:icon0rg:
0rg Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
Maybe you're just an unlikable person.
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:iconasukakissu:
AsukaKissu Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aw, I'm sorry your having trouble finding a girlfriend D:
I recently got my first boyfriend this year and I'm almost 18 XD
so I guess all things come with time :hug:

try finding a girl with the same interests as you! That seems to work for most people~
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:iconairlessthegoose:
AIRLESSTHEGOOSE Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Aww thank you <3 and yes, I'm constantly on the look out for girls who love Pokemon. <3 Not easy to find these days lol
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:iconasukakissu:
AsukaKissu Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah, pokemon fans are normally difficult to find in highschool lol :P
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:iconairlessthegoose:
AIRLESSTHEGOOSE Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sad, but true. D=
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:iconmagicmoonbird:
MagicMoonBird Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You try too hard, girls can notice that, giving random girls compliments can also be a turn off, depending on the compliments ofcourse....for example, there was this guy and he is kinda desperate, when hes online, he says the same thing to every girl "hi beautifull :D"....personally I hate it, and he is one of the types that tries too hard, it becomes annoying :XD:.
You shouldnt worry too much, just enjoy life and try to get into contact with girls who have the same interest, if you have contact with a girl, ask them about their interests first then you know right away if she might share yours. Ecentually you will find your soulmate! :dummy:
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:iconsilverchaim:
SilverChaim Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
There are also girls who like Pokemon, manga and video games etc. Maybe you could talk to girls like that? Have you tried internet? I found my boyfriend from a dating site :)

Of course it's ok if people have different hobbies. Smart people understand each others hobbies. My boyfriend likes video games and I like drawing and reading manga and it's ok for us.
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:iconarboris-silvestre:
Arboris-Silvestre Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You gotta be genuine dude.
"trying to be nice and normal and giving out small complements and having nice small talk" can totally come off as creepy.
being normal is fine I guess, but trying to be normal is something else, and it makes you seem pretty weird.
Complements are nice... sometimes. Getting tons of teeny complements maks things weird -especially when they'e about off-the-wall stuff.
And small-talk... if you're looking for small talk, then maybe you should sit in silence for a little bit. listen to her for a change, or actually start a real topic. The weather is not a stimulating conversation unless either of you is planning to be a meteorologist. :C

It might help if you started talking to people, and making a bunch of other friends instead of paying attention to your friends' girlfriends. You go to the store to see what's out there; you don't hang out at the checkout line and stare at all the stuff people have just purchased. Meet people.
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:iconmonochromereflection:
MonochromeReflection Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
>tfw no gf :iconfeelplz:
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:iconkhirate:
Khirate Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
What is with all these forums about getting a girlfriend? Honestly, it sounds pathetic. Please try and recover some sense of independence and self-dignity. :pat:

Relax. It's the best thing you can do. Trying too hard makes you sound desperate and overall not attractive. Be yourself, quit freaking out about something so simple!! Don't let your self-confidence go down over something so small. It'll happen. On it's own. Just be patient. The world will not end. Go out, have fun, don't worry about it.
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:iconbluewyrm:
Bluewyrm Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Got any guy buddies with female friends? Get them to introduce you. It's always worth a shot. Also, aim for just going on a date before trying to find commitment.

A lot of people will go "Oh, don't bother," but hey - you know what you want, so give it a go! (ps. Doctor Nerdlove is your friend; go look up his blog. It's mostly for older geeks than you or I, but he has a lot of good tips.)
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:iconkittylevin:
KittyLevin Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're young -- in high school, right? There's no need for a girlfriend in high school. If you really like a certain girl, ask her out; otherwise, wait, and you will find someone. It may be a while, but it'll turn out right. :)
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:iconstarlit-sorceress:
Starlit-Sorceress Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
There are girls who like the things you like. Stop worrying about it. Don't look for a girlfriend just for the sake of having one, or when you finally find someone she'll feel like you just settled for her.
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:iconairlessthegoose:
AIRLESSTHEGOOSE Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Good advice! Thank you :D
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:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You need to start stalking. That would help a lot.

No kidnapping until you are ready, of course. Read up on police crime scene procedure too, just in case things go badly.
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:iconairlessthegoose:
AIRLESSTHEGOOSE Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Haha very funny
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:iconmaltese101:
maltese101 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student General Artist
Stop aiming for every girl out there, and start focusing on one instead. :)
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:iconvanhir:
Vanhir Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Looking for someone doesn't really work, you have to let them find you. So I've found anyway.
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Have you joined any clubs, groups, etc. that you have an interest in?
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:iconairlessthegoose:
AIRLESSTHEGOOSE Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
All boys high school >_<
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh.. no wonder.

Wait until college.
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:icondorkface4:
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
I know a guy who likes pokemon and Magic and he's had plenty of girlfriends. You just gotta find the right girl.
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:iconmatthewmatters:
MatthewMatters Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Professional General Artist
Well, see, lookie here.

There's something extra fucking difficult in this life. That's finding someone who you can truly share all your life with and be the damn happiest a humanoid can be. It really is a one in a million kind of a deal. Most girls out there are going to turn you down or either be willing to get into a relationship but in the end you'd both just find it don't work out. This is the same for every damn guy out there. Finding someone to TRULY love is all about damn unnaturally good luck.

Now, as for tips...

don't go fucking small talking to chicks and think they're just gonna randomly fall into your lap dude! ASK. THEM. THE. FUCK. OUT.

Attractive girl who seems interesting? Ask her out. Instantio. A cup of coffee is an extremely good way to start and if you don't drink coffee then no big deal, I don't either so the first time I first went out with my lady I just drank water because fuck caffeine man.

Why a cup a joe is good is that it gives you a plenty of time to talk. I like to think the best ever thing to do on such a first date is the question game. This is where you, in turns, ask each other questions about each other. "What's your favourite color?", "Do you have any pets?", and, if she's the right damn type a person, you may also go into the deeper stuff like "What is the one thing you'd like to do before you die?" etc.

Oh and all that give compliments shit and that stuff, just fuck that stuff unless it comes natural to you because the last thing any girl's gonna want is you to turn out to be someone else after the first date. It's OK to be nervous but it's not OK to be someone else. Dressing well and having good manners are two things that should be a part of your everyday life though. If you got no eye for what's good lookin' when it comes to clothes on a man and such then just ask around. If you have close female friends, etc, you may just as well seriously ask them on how to improve your looks. You'd be surprised how willing they may be to help. Don't go asking them all though, just start with your most trusted friend-zone one.
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:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
He is still in high school. Are there not Malls involved?
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:iconmatthewmatters:
MatthewMatters Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Professional General Artist
Ah.

Well I think a cup a joe's still better. Malls have great coffee shops anyways.
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:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hey these kids aren`t in college yet! They aren`t used to coffee! You don`t need 2 teenagers going on a cafeine fueled maniac episode rampage in your local mall!
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:iconmatthewmatters:
MatthewMatters Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Professional General Artist
Beverages like soda are full of caffeine and like said, you don't need to drink no coffee in coffee shops. I don't either. But they're nice, quiet yet public places to just sit down and talk.
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:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
But not as much. And I would prefer it if you did not try to point out the holes in my logic, when I am trying to scare you. It rather spoils the effect.

But sitting down and talking is relatively boring to teenagers half the time. For 50% of this courting process you need things to do...
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:iconmatthewmatters:
MatthewMatters Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Professional General Artist
...scare me? And well I don't really believe that. I mean relationships are about the people. You need to sit down and get to know each other.
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:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I meant about maniac teenagers all over the place.

As teenagers, you certainly need to have a good time.
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(1 Reply)
:iconspudfuzz:
Spudfuzz Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Prostitutes are for small talk. Girlfriends are for long talk.
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:iconmatthewmatters:
MatthewMatters Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Professional General Artist
Brehliant.
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:iconkeltzar:
Keltzar Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
Not everyone may agree with me but personally I think that no matter who you are you should wait on getting a girlfriend/boyfriend until you are in a point in your life where you don't feel like you need one.

Also as a side note

"it won't last long because of my interests (Pokemon, manga, video games, playing card games like Pokemon and Magic, rock/metal music, etc)."

there are plenty of girls who like all of those things, your interests have nothing to do with you having difficulty finding a girlfriend.
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:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
... No. Just No. Capital N No.

When you get to that point, it is because you like the single life. IE getting a girlfriend will destroy that, making you resent her.

The simple truth is that someone has to come along who really is ... Up there, as it were. There can be a few, but you need one of those to really settle down.
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:iconkeltzar:
Keltzar Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
I'm talking about being at a point where you don't feel like you need one, not where you're at a point where you don't really feel like you want one.
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:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am saying they are synonymous.
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:iconkeltzar:
Keltzar Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
So you can't want something but not need it?
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:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
In this highly specific case, not really. This is all a highly highly reductive model of the the reality, but generally not needing to be in a relationship is not wanting to be in one.
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:iconkittylevin:
KittyLevin Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
But want and need mean different things! If you're desperate for a girl, you're likely to end up clingy. I know this because a lot of my friends in high school dated guys who were very very needy and reliant on their girlfriends to cure their self-esteem troubles. Needless to say, my friends did not have fun in those relationships.

You shouldn't have a girlfriend unless you feel you can get by without one. How about that?
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:icontotally-dead:
Totally-dead Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am not saying it makes for a good relationship. Merely that, you are kind of in an impossible situation. The person you are going out with needs to supersede that.
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:iconvaiflow:
VaiFlow Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Wise advice.
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:iconairlessthegoose:
AIRLESSTHEGOOSE Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Really? It seems every girl I meet has interests like 1D or Jb and I just can't seem to find those girls who like those things. Might just be my luck, however.
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:iconkeltzar:
Keltzar Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Are there any clubs for stuff you like in your area?
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:iconairlessthegoose:
AIRLESSTHEGOOSE Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I haven't seen any :/, but I do have my religion class tonight....does that count?
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