She says she has family problems and after she said that, I didn't push her further because I thought I might upset her. As for me, I don't have a father in my life(because he left), I feel like my mother doesn't appreciate me and my little sister was recently diagnosed with diabetes. I can't keep up in school and I have all of the teachers pressuring me and I fear that I might not be something when I get older.
Solum-IpsumFeatured By OwnerNov 18, 2012Hobbyist General Artist
Well, as you couldn't tell much about her situation, I can only go into yours for now (though I'm not a shrink or anything):
Instead of grieving about a bad family you cannot change, make some good friends, such honest friends that you can rely on. I'm sorry for your sister, mine only has a bit of dyslexia, so I can't really give advice with that. About school, I can only tell you that nobody's good at everything, but everybody's good at something – or at least has the potential to become good.
In my opinion, try to think about your talents more than your interests, and figure out what subjects might support you in polishing those talents. Ask a reliable teacher for advice if you don't know what is related (jobs, skills) to the things you feel talented at. Luckily, you're still young and have some years to decide what you want to make out of your life.
When you have no aim, you can only stay passive and eventually drift away into nothingness; I know, because I've been down there for a long time, and had to crawl out almost only by my own strength. So having a goal in life (doing something, possessing something or becoming something) can be a thread you can row your whole on like beads. My depression ended when I found something to live for, and for me it was becoming someone better, though it might be something else in your case. Of course, you don't have to aim for things you can achieve: for me, it was setting a completely abstract idol that I wanted to come as close to as I could. You can think about basically anything, because it's the direction that matters, the direction where you advance in. Of course, the first step is the hardest to take, so be prepared to struggle and keep on striving for your dreams.
Well... I hope this helps. If you have any questions, I'm here.
self mutilation is often a symptom of depression and if it isn't treated, could lead to suicidal thoughts and/or attempts. Your friend needs serious help right now and if I were you, I'd call the cops on her and have her hospitalized and evaluated. She might hate you for it at first, but after getting the help she needs, she will be grateful.
First and foremost, DO NOT cut yourself. You DO NOT want to go down that road.
Second, for helping her, don't make her feel bad ever about it. Google has many ways to overcome it, maybe tell her a few but never push, never stress, and never judge. Be there for her always any time of night or day, and she'll overcome this in her own time.
Everyone has stresses in life, and I understand that some people have it worse than others...but regardless, none of that can really justify causing physical harm to oneself
Your friend, and yourself for that matter, need help. I'd suggest you get your own life back in order first, or use your friend as motivation to get your mind together.
As mentioned, you two are probably rather young, and it's during those times when everything feels like it's a huge deal and will be the end of the world. I doubt you'd believe me when I say it'll get better, and I doubt I'd be helping when I say that life can throw a lot more at you....even if both of those statements are true.
For your friend though...the key is really figuring out why she thinks that way...having someone to talk to is quite important...though not as important as having someone they really trust being the one listening...of course, that person should also be very reassuring. Help her get back into the rhythm of normal life and let her see that she's making progress with her life...that it's moving in a positive fashion...if anything, you can always try and convince her to talk to someone more experienced in the field about it...ie. a teacher, a parent, even calling a helpline....but it has to be HER choice, you can try and persuade her to do it...but you can't be the one to speak with those people first...at least, not about her situation
I don't know who to tell really. I don't want my mom to know since she's against people who cuts themselves and she might tell me to stay away from her and my friend says that her mom is hard on her (and the reason she cuts is because of family problems).
I can try to get in touch with her, but I don't know if my friend will e mad if I told someone or not. In the end, I hope she just knows that I'm trying to help and I don't wanna be to pushy about it either.
Look I know ~LegendarySuperman is trying to help you do what's best. But going to a school counselor or someone like that, you might as well just take the knife and stab her in the back yourself, because you will be betraying her trust. I know if a "friend" did that to me, not only would it not make the situation better, I'd cut them out forever.
What it comes down to is common sense. Ask yourself how serious is she cutting? I've experienced a lot of bodily injury and none if it has been life threatening. Try to decide whether it's just superficial damage, which it most likely is, and is probably just a phase, and eventually she'll stop. But if your inability to deal with her situation is too great, remember, you're probably going to lose her as a friend, rightly so for betraying her trust. Also, considering she your best friend, imagine how worse she's going to feel when you do betray her.
Just leave her to her thing, because honestly, it's most likely 80% a phase that she'll get over when as she gets older.
Do you realize how many people have taken their lives because no one spoke up to someone who could get them help when you couldn't help them yourself? No one is qualified to help by just reading a psychology book. And sometimes what you say does more harm than good. If they hate you forever and dump you, well that is sad but what price is there on a life? By doing that you are not really caring about them, but more for yourself and whether someone is mad at you or not. Someday when they have recovered and are happy they will look back and say thank you. No one will say "How sad, wish we knew or that someone would have said something."
Probably as many that so after someone overreacted and made a bad thing worse. It's my opinion, you don't have to like it. But having been there and done that, I think I'm entitled to speak from experience.
Do you realize you're talking to a 13 year old that says she and her friend have both considered suicide? This isn't just about cutting or ruining a friendship, or even "just a phase". They both need to seek help, real help, not advice from some random strangers on the internet. Advising a 13 year old to make a judgement call probably isn't the best idea, especially if said 13 year old is emotionally struggling already.
Yeah actually I do realize that. It's also not our call to start recommending all kinds of people that are going to get involved and make their situation worse. Maybe you're right, and they're seriously considering killing themselves. But honestly, do you also think they are going to off themselves?
I've been where they are, I know that It's probably a phase, and I know that she probably has little more than cat scratches on her arm. If she had a papercut, her friend would still be overly dramatic about it, you said yourself, they're 13 year old girls.
I think it's a phase and they'll grow up eventually.
In situations like this, it's far better for them to go to an adult and tell them what is going on. Someone that is there can make a better call than people on the internet that know nothing about the situation.
I thought about that too. I don't want to lose her in the process of helping her. And you may e right about the phase too. If it escalates, I'll try to talk to her and see about getting help for both of us.
Well one besides the fact that cutting doesn't necessarily mean they are trying to kill themselves. Honestly, you said you are just like her minus the cutting. If you can't take care of your own emotions, how do you expect to be able to help her? By taking on her emotional baggage in addition to your own you are only going to do more harm to both of you.
Don't try to fix someone else, if you can't fix yourself.
Then tell her that, but that's about all you can do. Anything else and you start being an overbearing hypocrite.
You should just try to focus on taking care of your own emotional well being, nothing worse than an also emotionally damaged person trying to fix another emotionally damaged person. Can you see how that would just be a recipe for failure?