If people think negatively of you because of your scars, then they aren't worth having in your life.
I have always seen scars as proof you have been through hard times, but have made it through those hard times. Don't feel so insecure about them, most people won't treat you any differently if you have them.
I know someone who cut in the past. She has scars all up one arm. They're very visible. She makes no attempt to hide them. No-one stares. She has a boyfriend. She has friends. She's going through college. And not once have I heard her whinge like you are doing.
AmericanGirlArtistFeatured By OwnerNov 24, 2012Hobbyist General Artist
That sounds pretty unusual... But that doesn't mean you are waste of space now. I used to cut myself as well, I still have some of the scars. Now what is going on with your skin is probably a cancer or disease. My dad has a skin disease himself, his scars have been with him for many years, and he doesn't complain, he doesn't give up. You're a young beautiful lady, who in some lucky guys heart you just need some help. You need to keep faith, many blessings are to come to you to help you. You will probably start a very nice buisness and have children and a loving husband who will be there for you. I hope you will realise there is good and greatness in store for you
Many people probably are still hurting themselves to ease out their suffering. But you have lived and survived through it. And that is what I think most important than how people will look at you. No doubt the scars bear a painful reminder of your past but look on it another way, it can also be a living testimony of how you survived and started anew.
People may judge you but you must not sway to their views. When they question you, speak to them bravely. Clear them of any misunderstanding. Show them that those scars no longer represents insecurity, defeat but rather survival, the sign of a new beginning. After all these are old scars. It is not like they are fresh. So basically, it just speaks of a painful past, history, and nothing of the present or future.
You are too young to say that there is nothing more.
'Think about it, always having to keep your arm covered everysecond, of everyday.' What is so hard about it? Want some tips?
'No one will ever hire me for a lob. (who would hire the girl that cuts herself)' The problem at hand is too common to say that. Do you know how many people do that? I do it, 5 other people I met did it too, half of the people that write about their problems say that this is one of the solutions they used... Why would someone deny hiring a girl with scars?
there's this snail cream that it's used for imperfections in your body. I remember them saying that it worked for scars aswell. It might be a good try. Also, ever heard of those bracelets things that tennis players wear? It might be a option for you, specialy in hotter days.
You should collect sleeves for yourself to wear so you can then wear t-shirts. You can make quick ones out of spandex socks. And give yourself a break, you're only 14. You still have more than double your age ahead of you, and things change when you finish high school and move on from there.
I think you should not panic so much about your scars. Your life is not over because of them! It was your own fault and you have learned not to do it again, so now stop crying a live your life. You can go the rest of your life, being sad because you did something stupid when you were young. Of course I know how you feel about covering them, belive me, I know, and I KNOW you are still sad about it. And of course it takes time toget over, but you have to get over it, and stop believe that they have ruined your life. For your own sake and health
Well, to be very honest your scars should not detour you from requiring work. It would be discriminating against someone. I have many scars on my hands and arms (some inflicted from my earlier teen years and others from working as a handy-man). If you are concerned about them, take the product that may dull them. That is the best you can do for the moment, right? Your life is not over, not by far. Trust me, there is so much more you can do with your life.
I can think of at least 20 people I know who wound up with self-inflicted scars (myself included). The scars haven't affected any or our abilities to get jobs, find girlfriends/boyfriends, get married, have families, etc. In fact, I don't know anyone who now wants to get rid of their scars. They are reminders of hard times and symbols of perseverance.
It's hard to see the future thru the filter of the present, but you're still young and the turmoil you feel will, like your scars, fade in time. Besides, there's a lot of guys out there that find scars attractive...
Be proud. Think of it, you were able to pull yourself out of a tough time. They're scars now, not wounds. They're from the past. Like battle scars. You fought, and won. If you're trying to get a job or something that involves leaving people with a really good impression, you could always just wear fingerless gloves or something. Or start a new style that involves bandaging your arms and convince people it's cool to have bandages
Remember, keep your self-confidence up! There is ALWAYS hope, and there is a reason for everything, including your existence. I know you probably hear this a lot, but you're still a teenager. You're probably going to feel like total shit sometimes, but always remind yourself that it's not like that. Life is what you make of it, so if you have time to feel like trash, you have the time to make your life beautiful.
First off, I'm sorry to hear you cut yourself. I never could cut myself. I tried twice to kill myself but never went through with it. I don't know whether that was strength or weakness.
But as for your scars, sure they'll be there, but you just need to forget about them. My girlfriend has scars and I don't she notices them at all. I rarely do and even when I do, I try not to stare because it's rude to do so. Well, actually, she wouldn't mind.
You sound like a great person. Don't let your scars get you done. Any boy would be lucky to have a girl like you. You'll definitely get a job. People don't deny simple things like that because of cutting. You have a family now and if you continue forth positively, you can have a family sometime. You're only as alone as you make yourself. As you separate yourself from everyone else, you'll be alone. It's nice to be alone with your thoughts at times, but to always be alone is unfulfilling and sad. It's when your alone for too long, you notice your scars. Because what's left to notice when you're lonely but the reasons you are alone to begin with.
Because of scars? My entire body is covered in scars, my left arm for one is a massacre of self mutilation all the way up and down, with 7 cigarette burns. It hasn't done a thing to hold me back at all. I have a great job working with children right now. Do you really think parents would let me take care of their kids if that was really the case? No one who was worth having around has ever rejected me for them. I don't bother covering them up. And honestly, my life is fine.
Really, you're making an issue before there is even one. Accept your past and own it. You know what it makes you, stronger, but only if you accept and own it. Being afraid and hiding makes you weak. Owning it, gives you a strength and confidence that others don't have, which goes a lot further in how people see you than the marks that you do.
And honestly I prefer my women with scars anyway, they're far more interesting that way.
I cut myself for a long time when I was 14-16, and after I stopped I wore jackets the rest high school. Man I know how it is. I know how everyone gives you those looks, and they get that look on their face and...bleh.
But the point is, they are SCARS. That means you fought past something and won. You don't cut anymore, that is the past and anyone who judges you for it isn't worth your time.
Very few people will not hire you for scars. And any guy not willing to date you for them is not someone you want to date. The thing is, you WILL have those scars forever and you need to be okay with that. Live up to them. Own them. Be strong because you fought and won. You are a stronger person now than before, don't throw that away now.
Not everyone will think the same way about your scars, the secretary at the office my mom works in has scars on her face, legs and arms, shes working fine and well. If anything you can wear finger-less gloves. Also, there is someone destined for someone out there, you can have a family if you wish and there will be a man/woman who will love you for who you are, not everybody has the same idea of beauty.
Nightshade255Featured By OwnerNov 17, 2012Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're more self conscious of your scars than other people are conscious of your scars. There is a lot more to you than your wrists, and being so worrysome about them is only going to make it worse for you. Get a tattoo over the scars instead. Wear asstons of wristbands if youre uncomfortable. There are creative solutions you can use, if you just use your head enough. I know you may have to adapt your sense of style and character around it, but hey, as long as you choose how you deal with it and you are confident in how you deal with it it wont be a problem. You have your ENTIRE LIFE ahead of you to learn to live with your past mistakes, and you should feel proud that you have gotten over as much as you have. Keep your chin up, and keep moving forward. Theres always something to live for.
Long sleeve shirts in a light weight will be easier than jackets. And even one that is translucent (kind of see thru) will cover the scars.
You could develop a passion for fingerless gloves
You got over the cutting. You got out and made friends. YOU got out and joined activities. YOU DID IT! You took your life back from depression. That is not easy. And there are lots of people out there who know it is not easy.
Your boyfriend will be glad that you lived to meet him. Your kids would not care, and might be more likely to come to you with their problems, knowing that when you were young, you had to deal with your own.
Many people have to wear long sleeves on the job, this can be because they have tattoo's on their arms that are not appropriate for work, or because they are alergic to the cleaning solution that is used to clean the desk, and can not get it on their skin.
Having scars does not end your life. It only takes away your future if you let it. And as you get older, you will get more scars, from bumps, falls, birth etc, and they are more a map of where you have been than a determination of what your future holds.
Don't let the scars be another thing to hold you back. Think of them as lessons. Lessons that you were able to recover from depression and that you found your way. Metaphorically, we have a lot of scars from past failures, pains, and scars remind us that such are things of the past and can be overcome. When people see your scars, they'll think that you did cut yourself before, but some thoughtful people would also able to see that they are scars. Cuts that are healed, lessons that are learned. Some would appreciate you, then again, there are people who are jerks that don't bother to see through those scars. Just because you have those scars, doesn't mean you won't be wanted or accepted. It will actually help you. The people who are going to be there for you even with your scars are going to be people you're certain that accept you for who you are. They are going to be people that recognize you past, and still love you for it.
I have scars, nothing that are of tragic reasons. I don't like them because they look...ew...... But I don't let them put me down. Be confident in yourself. The more you put yourself down, the easier it is for other people to take you down. If you don't want to be put down, show people that you respect yourself, and they'll respect you (some won't but those people that don't are jerks)
HorrorKitten337Featured By OwnerNov 17, 2012Hobbyist General Artist
I have scars, and I've managed to have a fairly normal life. I was able to get a job, two actually. Although people would stare sometimes, no one ever actually said anything to my face. But, I could still feel that they were judging me. It was hard, but I learned to adapt.
At one point, I also wanted to get rid of my scars, but my family could never afford it, and I didn't make near enough at my job to pay for it myself. After thinking about it, I decided I don't want to get rid of them. They remind me of who I once was, and who I am now. They're battle scars. They're a part of who you are, and you can turn them into a very positive thing if you think about it the right way.
I think you're overestimating how much people will judge you based on your scars. I can say without a doubt that I've never lost a prospective job or relationship because of mine and judgmental looks are so few and far between that I can't even remember them, hell I've had a few girls who liked my scars. I was ashamed of mine for quite a long time for unrealistic reasons like you, it wasn't until I was about 17 or so that I stopped bothering to hide it at all and I can't recall a situation that made me uncomfortable about them since, school will most likely be the worst part.
I was a cutter too. i have scars on both of my arms. I have gotten jobs at all sorts of places. people did not say anything. True- i wore long sleeves at the interviews, but in the workplace i was forced to wear short sleeves. Nobody did nothing. What you say just isn't true.
Also technically I really don't think scars can technically be a cause for firing from almost any job.
Could you get a boyfriend? Sure! I know from personal experience. Could you have a family? Why not? Children judge no-one, and all of us have things we have to explain carefully to children.
Do not feel bad. You are not alone by any means. We all make mistakes. Some people's mistakes are just more obvious than others.
I just wish you wouldn't proclaim your life is over. Even though you are saddened by your past, shouldn't you be proud that you moved on from that point? Your scars may serve as a reminder about a darker time in your life...but I guess on the "brighter" side of things, it serves as a reminder you are also moving away from being that person.
Any way, your scars don't make you, you. I know of a few people who do have scars on their arms and things and don't bother hiding it + they're genuinely happy people. I think the important thing is to take care of yourself and make sure you're happy + feel good. And I know dealing with your scars might be part of it...but just don't get tied up thinking about them, kind of thing, you know? (I know it's easier said than done).
I just did a quick google search, but how about bio-oil? I would look into it, but apparently it can minimize the look of scars. Or even make up?
With that said though, I think at the end of the day you just got to be comfortable in your own skin. Just keep your chin up and don't be sad. You're young, and I know you can get through this
I'm praying for you. Someday you will find a guy that is really in to you and who loves you for you, who will not hold your past against you. If a guy does not love every part of you, then he does not deserve you and you deserve better than him. I didn't find a man that truly loved and appreciated me until I was in college and even then only after dating a few jerks who didn't care about me at all. I know things seem hard now, but keep hanging in there. God loves you and you know what? So do I. If you ever need someone to talk to you can talk to me. I'll be here. Those scars are a part of who you are now and you've got to get comfortable with them and be comfortable with you and who you are. You are NOT your scars, they are just a part of your past. Most of the time when you go to interview for a job anyhow you will wear long sleeves, and in an interview the most important thing is to be confident with yourself and your abilities and THAT is what will get you the job or prevent you from getting a job, not your scars, and if for some reason you have to wear short sleeves to an interview and the interviewer asks you about your scars, then you can just tell them confidently about it, tell them that you had a rough year one year in your teens and didn't know how to cope, so you coped that way, but then you learned how to cope and that is in your past now. Tell them that you are comfortable with who you are inside and outside. Be sincere. Employers know when someone is being falsely sincere.
And I really do mean what I said when I told you I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to. Your life is not over unless you refuse to live and be comfortable with yourself (and that might take a long time but that's ok too). Do not give up, things WILL get better, even if it doesn't seem like it now.
FYI I have a close family member who used to cut, and she is comfortable and confident with herself now even though she has the scars on her wrists. She doesn't wear them like a badge of honor or anything, she just doesn't let them bother her or effect how she sees herself. She has a job, and often has to wear short sleeves at work as it is the uniform. She also has a boyfriend who loves and appreciates her very much.
Your life isn't over. I've got scars and I've had boyfriends. Instead of being all down about it, be proud that you've moved on, that you're stronger and that you no longer feel the need to cut. You definitely won't get a job if you're so down on yourself. Most places want to hire happy people.
And Rob you are just being an troll dude. Someone is having an issue they need to talk through and you're saying their issue doesn't matter. If you're not going to say something nice or supportive, maybe it's better not to say anything. I definitely wouldn't say your issues were stupid if you were to talk about friends getting killed.