Crush is eating at me
So, I have this crush, the problem is that he's actually my ex. I think that he still likes me because he's always messing with my hair and hugging me and while at lunch today, he was like "stealing" me from my friends in a playful, joking manner.
When we broke up, it was actually me breaking up with him. I broke up with him because I was loosing interest in him... My problem with that is that I still REALLY liked him at the time, I just was loosing interest...
NOW, I'm REALLY starting to like him again and I want to ask him if he still likes me and if he tells me yes, if he wants to try again. Is this a good idea or should I just try to avoid him..?
Please help! This has been eating at me and has done some damage to my grades! I'm 15 1/2 while he's 16 if that helps with anything. >.<
When we broke up, it was actually me breaking up with him. I broke up with him because I was loosing interest in him... My problem with that is that I still REALLY liked him at the time, I just was loosing interest...
NOW, I'm REALLY starting to like him again and I want to ask him if he still likes me and if he tells me yes, if he wants to try again. Is this a good idea or should I just try to avoid him..?
Please help! This has been eating at me and has done some damage to my grades! I'm 15 1/2 while he's 16 if that helps with anything. >.<
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Go for it! The worst thing that can happen is rejection, right? Better than regret
Well, you should decide if those feelings are the same from both side and if you feel that it could work out. If the answer is yes, go for it.
Do whatever you want.
age means nothing, I'm 27 and my man is 45. Love is love.
Unless we're talking about 13 year old wanting to bang 25 year old that is.
well duh, there's obviously exceptions.
You could try an open relationship. Meaning that both of you date each other, but on occasion you both go out with other people. There's nothing wrong with this as long as you're honest and don't try to hide anything. Dating two people at once is sure to keep things interesting.
Look at it this way:
If your boyfriend is like the average human male, he will suffer from the male disease (also known as Being Full of Shit), and he will feel the need to prove he is a better boyfriend then your second boyfriend (or girlfriend if you choose that). He will try to one up them and make the dates he takes you on really interesting.
I don't buy into the whole monogamy thing. Stupid church rules is what that is. Honesty is key. As long your honest, it's technically not cheating.
Talk to him about it. It can't hurt to try. Good luck
Look at it this way:
If your boyfriend is like the average human male, he will suffer from the male disease (also known as Being Full of Shit), and he will feel the need to prove he is a better boyfriend then your second boyfriend (or girlfriend if you choose that). He will try to one up them and make the dates he takes you on really interesting.
I don't buy into the whole monogamy thing. Stupid church rules is what that is. Honesty is key. As long your honest, it's technically not cheating.
Talk to him about it. It can't hurt to try. Good luck
Thanks for the advice~
Anytime. Happy almost Thanksgiving.
Here are two possible reasons you lost interest. You subconsciously realized the two of you aren't compatible, or you were disappointed when you lost the happy squealy butterfly feeling you had when you first got together.
If it's the first one, then you should find someone else. You're just falling for him again, and it's not going to work.
If it's the second one, it depends. Different people need different things out of a romantic relationship. Some people like to build a romance slowly out of a close friendship. They're happy in a very close, trusting relationship with the same person with the rest of their life. Some people are only happy with the new-relationship excitement. Once that goes away, they move on to a new person and more excitement. Those are obviously extremes--there's a full spectrum of preferences in-between with pros and cons for each one. Before you decide whether you get back together with him, you should try to get an idea of where you are on that spectrum.
If it's the first one, then you should find someone else. You're just falling for him again, and it's not going to work.
If it's the second one, it depends. Different people need different things out of a romantic relationship. Some people like to build a romance slowly out of a close friendship. They're happy in a very close, trusting relationship with the same person with the rest of their life. Some people are only happy with the new-relationship excitement. Once that goes away, they move on to a new person and more excitement. Those are obviously extremes--there's a full spectrum of preferences in-between with pros and cons for each one. Before you decide whether you get back together with him, you should try to get an idea of where you are on that spectrum.
Thanks for the advice~
Well, it is not fun to, firstly, hear things you don't like and secondly, to be really honest with yourself, but if you start taking to both now you'll have a significant advantage later compared to other "adults".
I'd think through WHY he's interesting to you now. If you "lost interest" but still liked him, perhaps you really just want him as a friend. Has anything really changed? Or do you really just want him to see if you can and like the attention? If that's the case, don't waste his time, explain that you only want to be friends and give both of you peace to find people whom you are more compatible with. Or what will happen is that you will get together, be happy for a bit and then the same thing will happen again, which is a losing deal and a waste of time for both of you when there are plenty of other options out there.
If you however, after having an honest talk with yourself come to realize that the reason for you "losing interest" is either solved (by you) or due to some new circumstance won't bug you again and that you really care for this person a lot - go for it. Just think first.
I'd think through WHY he's interesting to you now. If you "lost interest" but still liked him, perhaps you really just want him as a friend. Has anything really changed? Or do you really just want him to see if you can and like the attention? If that's the case, don't waste his time, explain that you only want to be friends and give both of you peace to find people whom you are more compatible with. Or what will happen is that you will get together, be happy for a bit and then the same thing will happen again, which is a losing deal and a waste of time for both of you when there are plenty of other options out there.
If you however, after having an honest talk with yourself come to realize that the reason for you "losing interest" is either solved (by you) or due to some new circumstance won't bug you again and that you really care for this person a lot - go for it. Just think first.
Thank you for the advice!
Well... If you don't say anything, it'll be a simple lose, as nothing'll happen. But if you try to confess again, you might actually win, and start a new, fresh relationship! Besides, being rejected makes it easier to let go of a crush, than never knowing your crush's feelings!
Lots of good points here! Thanks for the advice!
What does it hurt to try? He sounds like he still likes you, you still like him... I think you should really try harder to have a relationship with him. If it doesn't work out again or if he says "no" in fear of heartbreak again, at least would be closure for you.
Good point. Thanks for the advice!
My pleasure, happy to help anytime.
The age gap isn't a problem (it barely exists), and I think odds are pretty likely that if you ask him to start dating again, he would say yes.
The one thing you should worry more about than facing a possible rejection, is to not repeat your mistakes.
The one thing you should worry more about than facing a possible rejection, is to not repeat your mistakes.
Thanks for the advice! I appreciate it!
When you're 15 years old, stuff matters.