My roommate steals from me..


FallBird's avatar
This is my first year in college, so it's mandatory that I live on campus and whatnot. So I signed up for the crappy cheap community dorm, since that's all that my scholarship covers, meaning I also get a really small room to share. And as I didn't know any girls that were coming here from my high school, I had to get a random roommate. At first she was okay, nothing wonderful. But then one day, she just suddenly stopped talking. It was weird, but it didn't bother me too much, because I'm not really a social butterfly anyways.

Then one day I was painting and I went out for a spell to wait for a layer to dry. When I came back, one of my brushes was missing. That struck me as really strange, because I never misplace my brushes. Especially not that one, it was my favorite. But I blamed it on myself, looked all over the place, and decided I must have forgotten it at home or something.

Between the time when I noticed my paintbrush missing and when I found it today, I've noticed a lot of little things that my roommate has taken. She takes a water bottle a day from my fridge, she takes my cleaning sponges, my garbage bags, my pens, and 'borrows' my tupperware without asking. Those things all piss me off, but I mean, none of them are expensive so I tried to let it go. I don't confront her about it because honestly, she scares me a little bit, and I'm not a confrontational person. Then today, I walked in between classes (something I don't usually do) and I guess she'd been in the middle of organizing her things and had gone to the bathroom or something. All the stuff from her little arts and crafts organizer was dumped out on her desk, and my paintbrush was right there in the middle. Understand now, I don't use those cheap plastic walmart brushes. This particular brush cost around fifteen or twenty dollars, I've had it for a while so I can't really remember. I picked it up with the intention of just taking it back and sulking for a while about her stealing my things, and then I saw that there was yellow paint just caked on and hardened. So she stole my brush AND ruined it.

And now I'm at a loss. I can't change rooms until next semester and even then there's no guarantee I can get out. I'm terrible at confronting people, especially when I never talk to them anyways. But I shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable in my own room. I shouldn't have to lock up anything that I might consider valuable. What would you do in my shoes??
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MechaKraken's avatar
Anything you have in the room, lock it somehow. I remember when I lived in a similar situation. People used to steal my food all the time from the fridge, so I bought a lunch box to keep my food in. I put a lock on the lunch box, and then chained it to the inside of the fridge, so that it couldn't be removed and left to rot outside the fridge either by anyone spiteful.

Keep all of your clothes in a trunk. Put a lock on the trunk, then in a similar method to the fridge idea, chain the trunk to somewhere it won't be easily removed. Maybe the leg of the bed, or around the hinges of the door.

This is all just temporary solutions though. You will need to address the problem at it's heart - your roomate. Heres the deal = she has gotten away with stealing from you before, and nothing happened. Hence, she will now continue to steal from you, because she knows nothing will happen. You need to tell her to her face to not take your things without asking. Do this with friends present if you need backup, even if you have to ask them to come over (because they don't go to your school or something).

If this doesn't work, inform the caretaker of the dorm, and see what can be done. If they won't do anything, well, I hate to admit it, but you may have to wait it out until you can change dorms. Let her know though that you are aware of her stealing. She thinks that you think you are powerless to stop her. Make her realize that she thought wrong.
ViViVooVoo's avatar
The best way really is to actually confront them - not aggressively, but rather in a way to let them know that you're aware of the shenanigans they're doing.

Or you could have fun and try all those other suggestions already listed below. I lol'd at the one regarding shanking her in the throat. POWER!
StrawberryGumiho's avatar
They make mini-fridges with a lock and footlockers cost about $45 a piece and you could possibly even find one for a couple bucks at a thrift shop. You can even put locks on your drawers and cabinets. I had to do this when I shared a house with a bunch of other people.

It sucks, and most of the stuff may be inexpensive... But all those little things start to add up over time.
RandomRobskii's avatar
Take something of hers. :nod:
JessicaAnn87's avatar
I would start putting your valuables in a locked box
Knightster's avatar
Get a chest with a padlock. Keep the key on you.
Put your shit into it. Problem solved.

If the chest gets broken into, brutally murder your room-mate.
Which coincidentally also solves the problem.
Mew-Sumomo's avatar
Confront her about it. If you can't get through to her or if the theft continues regardless of whether or not she's confessed about it, then speak to the RA and then a mediation of some sort might be set up. If you go directly to the RA with the issue first, they'll probably send you right back to square one and have you talk about it first. Just don't use any accusatory statements and remain as neutral as possible. Example: "So I've been noticing that a few of my belongings have gone missing/some things of mine have been broken, and I was wondering if you knew anything about it." If she doesn't admit to it at that point or show any sort of sign that she was responsible, then I would bluntly ask if she had been using your things. I would end it with a statement about how comfortable or uncomfortable you feel with having things borrowed, used, or straight up taken so she understands the magnitude of the issue. If need be, lock things up or store important belongings that you feel are at risk.

Source: I'm an RA.
MARX-MAN's avatar
Comment rating: :star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty:
Small text is annoying.

You could just take all of her art supplies and arrange them in a pentagram on the floor, stick black candles on each corner and put the brush she stole and ruined laid in the middle with the words "I know what you did painted on the floor".

It could just be simpler to just get a lock chest or locking draws for your stuff, if it is good enough for every D&D based character with common sense then it is good enough for you.
Jonas-Lightfoot's avatar
How have things been going on the roommate front?
Winxclubgirl's avatar
You shouldn't have to lock up your valuables, but since she's been stealing them, you need to. Even though the paintbrush was ruined, you still should have taken it back (if you didn't when you saw that it was ruined).
Confront her about it and if she still doesn't stop, then change rooms as soon as possible.
Vanhir's avatar
Speak to her about it. If she takes it poorly, shank her in the throat.
moxiee's avatar
If you don"t to talk to her because she like to fight then my only advice is this: Strike first, strike fast and strike hard. Repeat the second and third step.
EbolaSparkleBear's avatar
Empty your room. Put everything into storage or send it home.
Live like a hermit and do whatever you have to until you can leave that set up.
MyLifeInFocus's avatar
After you saying you'll report her. I hope everything goes well! Hopefully she'll stop, wish you the best =)
fluffy-maple-vodka's avatar
I've experienced a similar things like this before. You must have the courage to confront her. I know it's hard, but you just have to tell her. If you don't, nothing will happen; it might just get worse. I agree with @~wakige, I'd do that too even though usually I've been a calm person xD if someone mistreats me, they're gonna pay for it. and yes even though I'm a weak person hihi BUT SERIOUSLY! You have two choices. Confront her, or just keep it to yourself and let her steal more of your stuffs. or even worse.
prosaix's avatar
Maybe you should talk to her about it?
EbolaSparkleBear's avatar
"Hi. Pleasestop stealing from me. Cunt." :P
Svataben's avatar
Tell her!

Telllllllllllllllll her!


Tell her calmly, but firmly (not accusing her of anything like being a bad person and a thief), but make sure that you draw the line completely (say something like "It is unacceptable to me!").
RavynneNevyrmore's avatar
Talk to your RA about it. Don't go directly to the person in charge of the entire dorm. You should have an RA that's in charge of just your floor or your hall or something. If your RA doesn't do anything about it and it continues to be a problem, THEN go to the next higher up.
LadyZelda1's avatar
Next time she takes one of your water bottles, mutter loudly, What happened to the bottle I kept my urine sample in? I definitely like the laxative suggestion.
AJGlass's avatar
Next time she takes one of the water bottles, the OP should loudly yell... Oh my GOD, where did my Seamonkeys go!? :ohnoes:

Works every time. :nod:
LadyZelda1's avatar
That certainly is a bit better than my suggestion. lol
AJGlass's avatar
It would probably lead to a more entertaining reaction from the thief. :lol:
LadyZelda1's avatar
I have a feeling someone would be sticking their hand down their throat trying to puke it all back up. But then again, just think of them as a kind of sushi.