Feeling alone in college


brokenwhalesongs's avatar
I've been having some issues lately with people, I guess. My girlfriend, my only friend so far in college, has been aggressive towards me lately and hasn't been as supportive of me as she once was. Her roommate doesn't like me, but won't really talk about it or explain why. I know one other person at college, but they dislike me as well as they have always wanted to be my girlfriend's significant other, instead of me.

I'm not a mean person and I do my best to be there for others and be as helpful as possible, but it seems like lately I've been surrounded by toxic people and I don't know what to do. I haven't really made any friends in college and I don't know how, really. I'm too busy with college work to join any clubs or go to places to meet people and make new friends. I've just been really sad and feeling more isolated than ever and I know that doesn't help. I don't feel like anyone wants to be my friend, especially since I've been so unhappy lately.
Comments15
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
WhiskyOmega's avatar
You have to be willing to put yourself out there for people to get to know you, be talkative and open but don't over-do it or you'll seem desperate. Just be yourself and say "hi" to total strangers on campus.

I remember collage and university; I had to really open up to get people to talk to me and in doing so I found a side of myself I really liked. Just by doing this simple thing I've also noticed I can get jobs easier, also, as PR is really important. It's done me a world of good and I think it'll help you too.

Take care.
photosynthetichuman's avatar
College is a good place to meet the wrong people, you should work on meeting the right people though. If not you'll just be stuck in your cycles of unhappy solitude.
lightning-13's avatar
Maybe it's just you? I mean, I was once like that, a lone wolf, too introverted, I only knew school and home, these two things. It bothered me actually because I felt lonely too, but soon it all became better, I changed, I also changed school :P But I think that college is quite lonely, because people mind their own business, simply work, and others party a lot of course, depends in which category you are. And some have more things in common, get along better. I don't know about your girlfriend, maybe she is dealing with some kind of problem at this moment? maybe she needs space? or try to get through to her, talk to her, ask her if something is wrong, explain why you behave this way, if you think your behavior is what is bothering her. Communication is the key my friend..
Cliffto's avatar
Well honestly I thought Highschool is the worst time i have been pass trough.
I really don't know why those people react like that to you, why don't you stand up and ask them why they treat you like that? Most of college kids should be wise and not picky, I feel that over here.

and don't worry, you are what you are. My friend always told me:
"You are what you are they are what they are."
It means don't ever blame or ashamed of yourself if people treat you of silly reason.
Slave2Karma's avatar
Here are some ways I made friends when I first went to college, maybe they’ll help you as well. ^_^

1- Talk to people in your class. You'd never know it, but the person sitting next to you could have a ton in common with you. My first week of school I saw someone doodling before class started and I went over and sat by her and started talking, three years later she's one of my best friends. Talk to someone, ask if they wanna grab lunch after class! Making friends in class is also a plus because then you've got a study buddy!

2- Hang out in common areas. I'd always chill out in either the TV lounge or the cafeteria when I was drawing, doing homework, eating, or reading--either someone you know will come into the room, either from your floor, your class, or someone you met at orientation, or someone new will come in! Don't be afraid to talk to people, and if you see a familiar face, don't be afraid to go over and say hi!

3- Friends of friends are potential friends for you. Many times I'd sit down to grab a quick lunch with someone from class and people who knew them would join the table--and it would be awesome! We'd get into conversations that would last hours and more and more people would join the table, it was a blast. Some of my best friends were made this way.

4- Every event is an opportunity. Make sure you know what's going on campus. An art gallery opening, open concert, anything presents a chance to meet new people. Also, free food is nice. :D
EbolaSparkleBear's avatar
You left out # 5.

Walk around campus looking for people to stalk.:P
EbolaSparkleBear's avatar
First off, do not worry about the roommate. That person is insignificant.

Second, if you're all full of negativity, why would anyone want to chillax with you?
Focus on school, that's why you're there.
Get rid of that stress somehow and do not focus on negative shit.

Third, you and your girl need a little talky talky to get through whatever ails you right now.

Fourth, your school has no meeting area, or message board for stuff like jogging partners or the like?
That's an easy way to meet other people and not be in a meat locker setting.
brokenwhalesongs's avatar
Yeah, I've been trying to. It's just really difficult with the workload and all.

My school is pretty sparse as far as meeting with people goes... We have a cafeteria, but it's mostly filled with people who already know each other well.
Fuyuko7's avatar
If you're not mean, then I have no idea why people hate you...maybe your attitude or something?

I find that some people can hate others if that person doesn't talk much, it's kind of like they run out of patience with the person :shrug:

My former friend got annoyed at me since I don't speak my mind etc
she didn't really have sympathy/patience

some people are just hard to understand......Just focus on your studies and you might find someone who shares similar interests....
maybe like a study partner?
brokenwhalesongs's avatar
Yeah I guess for me it's hard to connect with other people because I don't talk that much... I dunno, I have a bad memory sometimes too. I talked with this one guy for a while during lunch one day and I forgot his name so when he approached me later I didn't know his name and I think I made him feel bad that I didn't remember his name when he remembered mine :( He hasn't really talked to me since and I dunno how to talk to him again.

I think maybe I just need to talk to people more, but I really don't know. I have talked with a few people but it hasn't ever really progressed further than talking once or twice. It always fuzzes out, I guess. I don't know anyone here at all besides my girlfriend and her roommates and another girl I knew from before, so it's harder since there's no one to start from.
Fuyuko7's avatar
OMG me too :lol:

I forget names so easily, it takes me days to remember the name of a person I met for the first time....
And since it's embarrassing to repeatedly ask for their name.
I just avoid saying their name until someone else says it. :)


One guy in my class got offended that I forgot his name. (And he remembered mine)
Seriously some people just get irritated easily :shrug:

I remember faces, but it takes time to remember a name
CrookiNari's avatar
I'm terrible with remembering most people's names too, and avoiding referring to them by name is what I do. But since I rarely refer to people by name anyway and they don't notice this, it doesn't cause any problems for me.
Fuyuko7's avatar
That's the plan :thumbsup: