Your first heartbreak is always going to be the hardest, especially when that person was your everything. Moving on from a person who was your entire support system can be very hard, but right now, the person you need to focus on the most is yourself. You’ve been suffering with some series issues for years, and I applaud you for scheduling an appointment with a doc—it’s a good, strong step in the right direction. The better you feel about yourself, the better you’ll be able to cope with life, friendships, relationships, and all those ships.
As for finding some friends when you first start college, that’s always a tricky thing to do. Here are some ways I made friends when I first went to college, maybe they’ll help you as well. ^_^
1- Talk to people in your class. You'd never know it, but the person sitting next to you could have a ton in common with you. My first week of school I saw someone doodling before class started and I went right over and sat by her and started talking, three years later she's one of my best friends. Talk to someone, ask if they wanna grab lunch after class! Making friends in class is also a plus because then you've got a study buddy!
2- Hang out in common areas. I'd always chill out in either the TV lounge or the cafeteria when I was drawing, doing homework, eating, or reading--either someone you know will come into the room, either from your floor, your class, or someone you met at orientation, or someone new will come in! Don't be afraid to talk to people, and if you see a familiar face, don't be afraid to go over and say hi!
3- Friends of friends are potential friends for you. Many times I'd sit down to grab a quick lunch with someone from class and people who knew them would join the table--and it would be awesome! We'd get into conversations that would last hours and more and more people would join the table, it was a blast. Some of my best friends were made this way.
4- Every event is an opportunity. Make sure you know what's going on campus. An art gallery opening, open concert, anything presents a chance to meet new people. Also, free food is nice.
if there is one thing I've learned, it's that no matter what you do, or how much you love someone, it doesn't matter in the end. She obviously didn't feel the same and it shows. like someone else said, she's just a bitch who lost someone very special and hopefully one day she realizes it.
I won't tell you to move on cause that doesn't happen over night. But work on finding other things to focus on and eventually you will meet other people, maybe even someone better than her.
Also, STAY AWAY FROM FACEBOOK. That fucking site is nothing but a trigger and you'd be better off without it. Identify all the triggers that remind you of her and work on avoiding them or finding ways to associate those triggers with something positive.
I'll give you an example of what I'm talking about. Let's say there is a song you hear that reminds you of her. Now take the same song and listen to it as you're doing something positive that way you can associate it with what you're doing and make a new memory.
She is just a bitch and doesn't know what she had. You were the only other one but her parents in the hospital. What does that say about her buddy, and you? You can't make someone want you. They either have a connection with you or they don't. It sucks but you have to move on and not let this change yourself, hard as that will be. Just think, lots of people have fared the same. It is not just you. I've been burned too. It is a part of life. Just put it in your lesson learned folder and move on.
*sigh* I had a friend once like that. But we parted ways after high school and we all went to different Unis in different countries. It was hard for me but I learned in a couple of months to move on. Cause there was nothing I could do.
There is not real solution to this. Just several options for you to take. You can go and tell her about your feelings , since you already dated and planned for the future , go ask her what went wrong. Or you could just let it go and find new friends. Oh wait ... You can't ? Well that's because you're still holding on to her. That's why. You got to let it go before you can truly move on. I know It's easier said than done but If you don't do it , you'll just be stuck in your "past".
Don't waste your time being sad. Cause life's too short for that. Good luck !