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November 11, 2012
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Help desperately needed. Conflict with myself. I feel horrible :((((((((

:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
I am really having some real internal conflicts right now. My girlfriend of almost 5 months is shaving all her hair off to go Bald for Bucks. Her hair is being donated to Locks for Love and the the bald part is to help raise money for cancer. She got the idea from one of her friends who recently did it and she is going to do it in front of the entire school on December 21st during a pep rally. I love her so much, but i just have this problem with having a bald girlfriend who is choosing to be bald. She is beautiful inside and out and always makes me smile, but i can't bring myself to focus on what it will be like after she gets shaved. She is already getting a ton of shit for it and me too. She knows i don't want her to go completely bald and she is really upset. I've told her I'm always behind her 100% even if I don't agree with her always. I know I'm being really selfish and superficial but it is just really messing with my head. Can anyone give me some advice? I'm really desperate :tears:
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Devious Comments

:iconsimplylemie:
SimplyLemie Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
If you get that upset over a small thing like your girlfriend shaving her head you will have hell when you guys get serious problems.
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Filmographer
Eh, if you're shallow enough for this to affect your relationship, then more fool you. If you're not supportive of her and think she'll still be beautiful, then I'm pretty sure there's someone out there who will.
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:iconwhiskyomega:
WhiskyOmega Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Professional General Artist
I'm afraid that's her decision and you'll just have to respect her for that.
You'll eventually get use to it and then, before you know it, her hair'll be back. :)
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:iconda1withdalongestname:
Sounds like you're not that 100%

If you love her for her, you wouldn't care if she's hairless. I can understand why she's not happy with your reaction to her trying to shave herself.

Instead of telling her you don't like her being bald, tell her it bothers you a bit, it makes you discomfort by how much it weird you out.

The rest, is pretty much how you tell her really. You can't just flat out telling her that anyway.
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:iconvanhir:
Vanhir Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That's it? Wow.
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:iconthenecco:
TheNecco Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student General Artist
Omg it's not that big of an issue. it's HAIR it grows back. Een if she died in a horrible shaving accident her hair would still grow back.

I would hate to be your girlfriend.

I wish my problems were as simple as yours hahaha
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:iconmartinoice:
Martinoice Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hair is so trivial so to make you understand how ridiciolus this sounds to me i will do this:

I am really having some real internal conflicts right now. My girlfriend of almost 5 months is cutting all her "nails" to go "Short for Bucks". Her "Nails" is being donated to "Nails for Love" and the the "short nails" is to help raise money for "people who dont have nails". She got the idea from one of her friends who recently did it and she is going to do it in front of the entire school on December 21st during a pep rally. I love her so much, but i just have this problem with having a girlfriend who is choosing to "have short nails". She is beautiful inside and out and always makes me smile, but i can't bring myself to focus on what it will be like after she "gets them clipped". She is already getting a ton of shit for it and me too. She knows i don't want her to go completely "short nails" and she is really upset. I've told her I'm always behind her 100% even if I don't agree with her always. I know I'm being really selfish and superficial but it is just really messing with my head. Can anyone give me some advice? I'm really desperate

It is a ridicioulus topic, it is sad that this is an issue in your life and you need to build a bridge and get the fuck over it. The girl is shaving her hair to support cancer in todays society where you apperantly can't for the love of god do that. Be proud, you boob.
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:iconmonkeydoodles:
monkeydoodles Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
It's her hair, she can do whatever she wants with it. The both of you need to get into therapy ASAP, for the depression and self-harming issues. That's far more important than the hair issue.
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:iconravynnenevyrmore:
RavynneNevyrmore Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I'm not sure what the problem is. Men do horrific things with your hair/body hair/facial hair all the time and expect us to put up with it. I think beards are just about the grossest thing ever and I would prefer a guy not to have one but if I loved someone and he insisted upon growing a beard I wouldn't dump him over it.

...I just might not kiss him as much. :lol:
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:iconravynnenevyrmore:
RavynneNevyrmore Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Sorry, that should have said "men do horrific things with their hair." I wrote "you men" first intending to sound sassy and then changed it because I figured it wasn't fair to attribute the actions of a group to an individual.
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:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
Her life, her choice. Accept it or break up.
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:iconspookyink:
SpookyInk Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Go bald too so you can be disgusted too. :dummy:
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:iconsiantjudas:
siantjudas Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012   Digital Artist
Well don't tell her your behind her 100% if that's a lie, which based on what you're saying it is.
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:iconenuocale:
EnuoCale Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Quit bitching. That's all. There's nothing else to it.
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
To everyone who responded (with the exception of Wikidtron) thank you for for the words. It's all good. For now ;)
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:icondorkface4:
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
Her choice. Either support her decision or break up with her.
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
I cant break up with her she is my everything and I am hers. We basically kept each other from suicide when we met. And i support her but i dont fully enjoy the idea if you understand. We live in an extremely well to do suburb but neither of us is close to rich. With that comes a whole lot of focus on superficiality
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:icondorkface4:
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
Then help her through all the crap she'll get from being bald. Learn to ignore the superficial shit.
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:iconlizanabee:
LizanaBee Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012   Traditional Artist
Learning to ignore the superficial shit would be a Great step for you both. I second the votes for you supporting her and maybe even going bald too. I mean... what's the worst that happens? You just wait for your hair to grow back? You discover what friends are Real friends?

Don't lie to her, though. Also... be honest with yourself. It'll go a long ways.
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:iconhippo-rim-job:
hippo-rim-job Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Wasn't this a Friends episode...
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
If it was I would really like to see it......
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:iconhippo-rim-job:
hippo-rim-job Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
"oh... okie dokey....hehe"
Thats exactly how i feel.
Thanks man
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:iconhippo-rim-job:
hippo-rim-job Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I knew it!
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
Why am I so selfish?
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:iconhippo-rim-job:
hippo-rim-job Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I don't think you're selfish. But you will have to get over it. Because if you don't, she will think you are shallow.
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
She doesn't think I'm shallow or selfish. We talk literally all the time. But I know I am. Thats why i jsut want it to be over. Everything.
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(1 Reply)
:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You could go bald with her in solidarity.
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
Here is the funny thing. She won't let me.
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hmmm. Maybe she's trying to prove she can face the dirty comments on her own. She doesn't need someone to stand with her. I suppose that's admirable.

I guess the only thing you can do is remember that it's for a good cause, and if you truly love her, then her appearance won't matter.
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:iconpakaku:
Pakaku Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
Hair grows back. You'll get used to it. If you can't, you're not really worth her time...
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:iconidnidveifencetum:
IdNiDveifencetum Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
If you really love your girlfriend (I think you do) then you won't think about how she looks or whether she's bald or not...I don't think there's anything wrong with shaving your head if you really want to. I think you should feel great on this because your gf has such a big heart. You know that hair isn't a very easy thing to give up for girls, right? We would rather die with our hair on rather than completely put it out. I admire your gf for that. So umm, yea.. and you shouldn't feel that bad about this. Your gf is giving up her hair for a temporary amount of time and it's going to go to a good cause. And besides it's going to grow back...

If people are messing with your gf just because she's shaved, they should go piss themselves. They're just jealous that they don't have the courage to do the same thing.

Good luck. Cheer up! I hope this helps.
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
Besides me being selfish, she already lives a life that is hell on earth and she says she's fine with all the shit, but I just don't know how much she can take. I'm concerned for her SAFETY over this because everyone she knows is pretty much beginning to turn on her, and she has a history of cutting :tears:. I just want her to be okay. And I'm a selfish twat :(
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:iconidnidveifencetum:
IdNiDveifencetum Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You'll protect her, right? Don't leave her. She'll be okay then. Though she may be lying when she says she's fine with her current life, she obviously isn't. She needs someone to be with her.
Being concerned about her safety is normal.

And btw, you're not selfish. You're selfless. Though you think you're hoarding her all for yourself, you're actually not. You're just plain worried about her.

If she wants to shave her head and would make her happy, maybe you shouldn't be so worried. But it's good that you're worried. It shows that you actually care about her a lot. And let me repeat myself you're not selfish.
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:iconladyzelda1:
LadyZelda1 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
Her hair will grow back. And if it is that big a problem for you they have lots of beautiful wigs that can make her normal looking again.
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
Ik it's jsutshe is refusing to wear a wig or hat as well. She has the most beautiful hair out of anyone at our school too :tears:. I really hate myself because I'm being so shallow and selfish but... idk. She's my first gf as well and I will and have done everything i can for her.I really just want to be done with life right now. It seems like an overreaction but she's my everything, she is what drove me out of depression. I am so unbelievably lucky to have her. But the first thing I noticed was her long flowing hair that curls and twists , which matched her stunning brown eyes.....
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:iconladyzelda1:
LadyZelda1 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
She'll grow tired of it, especially when it starts to get cold out. I know lots of cancer patients that would love to have their hair back. Remember when Britney Spears shaved her head? That didn't last too long. I think it's just a trend and a war trophy saying look what I did for others.
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
I know I just feel like I don't deserve because I can't get behind 100%. I love why she is doing it, I love that she is doing it, I'm proud that I'm going out with someone who would do that. But I just.... idk. I can't believe how selfish I am
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:iconladyzelda1:
LadyZelda1 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
yes you are - you apparently love her for her looks. You are so shallow.
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:iconwikidtron:
Wikidtron Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Professional Artist
SERIOUSLY? THAT is what makes you want to be done with life? HAIR?

Get a fucking reality check, stat.

And grow the fuck up.
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
I want to be done with life because i feel like such an enormous asshole (and because i have depression). Thats why. Thanks for the f-bombs really helping.
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:iconwikidtron:
Wikidtron Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Professional Artist
Oh, you have depression. Gee, excuse me while I play the worlds smallest violin.

If you feel like an asshole it's because you are. So, quit with the guilt complex and just quit being an asshole. Don't use your mental state to make excuses, so that you can continue to be in that mental state. What good are you doing for anyone?

I'm paranoid schizophrenic, autistic, manic/depressive and really just a grab bag full of crazy, but in spite of my mental -challenges- I don't take any drugs and have learned to flow with my own emotional tides. I'm a highly functional individual because I don't use my difficulties as reasons to fail.

Seriously. Why do you want to fail at life? Is it too hard? Are you waiting for someone to save you from yourself? Guess what, no one is going to save you, they're too busy dealing with their own shit. You ought to decide to thrive- you're extremely lucky to have been given the gift of a human experience at this point in time. You'll never have this again. Cherish it.
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