Whoo boy. My knee jerk reaction is that you need new friends.
Unfortunately, it is very unlikely that anything you say or do will be able to change his beliefs. At this point, he has his blinders on. I think you need to tally the pros and cons of continuing this relationship, because if you're internalizing his negativity it'll only cause you more trouble down the road, and you don't deserve it.
I would be outright with him: "Look, dude, I understand your point, but you're being disrespectful/ignorant/an asshole, and you're about to lose a friend over it. There are just as many racist, ignorant black people as there are white people." Will that change his views? Probably not, but it might make him realize what his callousness may cost him.
For a person to be truly ignorant of racism, they'd have to be incapable of experiencing it. He is a racist, he is directing racism at another race. Thus, by default that race is capable of experiencing and understanding the consequences of racism. Racism isn't something that affects only one race or only minority races. It can come from and be directed at ANY race. And until that is acknowledged racism will ALWAYS be around.
Heck, I've had someone tell me that because I was white that my ancestors could never have experienced tormoil, slavery or mistreatment and that whites don't have the emotional capacity to understand or suffer from it if they did. Never mind the fact my heritage is largely Germanic, Saxon, Irish and Native American (Cherokee & Sioux). And when faced with the plights of other races, I've had someone say that it wasn't as bad because they (Asians, Native Americans, ect) could pass as white. Unfortunately stupidity and ignorance has no limitations.
I'd ask him though, does he ate other blacks? Does he hate Africans? Because African tribes actively participated in slavery and were the primary source of slaves for Colonial and American Slave trade. African tribes were enslaving each other and selling each other to white slave traders. It was actually very uncommon for white slave traders to actively capture and obtain slaves through their own means when they could pay various tribes to do it for them cheaply or in trade for goods.
And just about every race & culture has participated in slave trade during their history... Some still do. That includes Blacks, Asians, Europeans, ect. And as a result, blacks aren't the only ones to have been victimized by the practice and whites aren't the only ones to have victimized others by the practice. And not all whites have ancestors that practiced slavery in early America. Some come from poor ancestry that couldn't afford slavery and many likely have early Colonial and American ancesters that were indentured servants (fancy title for white slaves tricked into servitude under a work for travel & keep contract)
And not only is your "friend" a racist, he is a race purist too since he actively disassociates you from part of your heritage due to you being mixed. That would be like someone telling me I'm not white because of my Native heritage (despite being fair skinned, blond and all. Some members of my family its more obvious with, the only thing that hints at it for me is my flat profile and high cheek bones that is a lot like my great grandmother's.). Then again, if someone asked me if I was Native American or if I understood the hardships of that part of my ancestral heritage I'd say no. Because I didn't experience if first hand, I can't even begin to imagine the extent of their suffering. And I was not raised within that culture, so I have not experienced what some tribes still struggle with today. Same goes for what my other ancestors may have faced. But I know hate won't improve it, it won't improve anything. And its wrong and disrespectful of him to use the hardships of his ancestors as an excuse for his hatred and poor behavior. If he really cared about what they went through, he'd work toward improving things and he'd be against racism rather than proud of it.
"But my problem is how do you put up with a racist who is typically crying about how rich white people are the primary reason for all thier troubles? I mean he is not only making black people look bad, but he is not helping out his own situations in life by blaming others."
He needs to learn to tell the difference between racist people and a racist system. Racism still exists, and there's nothing wrong to have strong feelings against that, but to direct it at white people as a whole isn't going to be very effective if he wants to do something about it. I mean, honestly, what does he think hating on white people is going to achieve? Balance it out? Because that's just not how it works.
Instead, approach it from an angle that white people nowadays hate racism as much as he does, and while they might be ignorant of it, they're potential allies in this battle against racism. You could point him to Tim Wise's website, who is a white anti-racism activist.
And if he doesn't see the difference between a system and the people inside it, hold him accountable for the war in Iraq or something. After all, he's an American, and America started that war where tens of thousands civilians were killed. Oh what's that, you're against the war? Well then why didn't you stop it?
I could hate on British people for what they did to my country, but I choose not to. It was so long ago, and they never did anything to me. I visited London for a few weeks, and they were very nice and patient helping me find directions and kept cheerful conversations.
I think his problem is that he hasn't had much contact with "rich, white people" and have not seen their good or positive sides.
Yes, some people won't just let it go, they live in the past and can't accept people of different sex and color change towards the years. My advice, ignore it. BUT if it's constant then leave that friend and accept him as an acquaintance.
I had a white "friend" who got crazy once he knew his ex-girlfriend slept with a black dude. He knew she had several lovers since they broke up 2 years ago(!!) but the black one was too much for him, my friend denied his ex's existence. I can't understand his logic. But he thinks he's not racist(like most of the people who posted on this thread), he actually thinks he's open minded and all. But he reveals when he faces a crisis.
=> I tell you this story to get to my point : your friend is not totally dumb, he's not totally wrong. He probably has many reasons to ask himself some questions.
Maybe he lacks words to explain them, that's why he points the wealthyness of some white people. But it's not only about this.
I know a guy freaked about that very same thing with his wife. I think he was insecure about his size and performance. He was one of those types of guys that needed constant re-assurance and I guess the stereotype about size made him totally insecure.. And his insecurities ultimately killed the relationship and they divorced. (he kept asking for details and reassurances regarding comparisons between himself and the other man for example. Non-stop.)
But seriously, the friend IS totally wrong. He is no better than the guy that got upset about his girlfriend having sex with a guy of a different race. You can't point at one racist and say "This/that is wrong" and then point at another racist and say "Well... Thats ok, I'm sure he has a good reason to hate others. I'm sure its not just that he is a racist." That is just stupid.
I'm a mixed black/white too, so I can understand YOU. As a third culture kid with mixed skin, I see the race issue in a distorted way compared to the rest of the world since my parents are black and white. I always thought I could be friend with everybody black or white, but with experience I realized that black people AND white people don't see the world as neutral as I do.
I 've met some white people who never had the chance to really be around black people as children, and the opposite aswell. They fear the unknown and once they grown up it's hard to change their mind, it becomes visceral.
I read him some of the replies on this thread when I started it, pretending I did a "yahoo ask search" for "Why do black people still complain about white people". There was another friend who was with us when I read him some of the replys. I read him one in particular from a black guy on this thread and my friend just said he sounds like a "Uncle Ruckus ass nigga" (from the boondocks) so it was hard to get him to understand with someone sitting next to him taking his side. The only other reply I got from him was "Well you gotta hate something"
Ah, racist black people. There's one in my class. He's really annoying. I had to sit between him and a racist (more of a jokingly racist) white kid in class last year. Their conversation would go like this.
Solum-IpsumFeatured By OwnerNov 13, 2012Hobbyist General Artist
Why not tell the last sentence in his face? Black people were enslaved because white people saw them more as dexterous animals than real human beings, and by their technological advantage they could overthrow them more easily. Yes, it's easy to point fingers, but if a black person wants to prove their adaequacy to a white fundies in power, he has to learn self discipline, something that distinguishes people from animals (and that's not related to race). Until he does so, he's not much better than the skinheads kicking the homeless black guy in the alley.
Solum-IpsumFeatured By OwnerNov 20, 2012Hobbyist General Artist
I think I meant that becoming a better person than those you hate is a better goal than to just whine and point fingers, thinking that you're better while you're still not in the position to have the actual freedom to be better.
One day when he matures and grows up he'll realize what a dickwaffle he's being. If he'd know anything about historical awareness he'd know that you can't feel either pride nor shame for something someone else did, let alone what a country/people did when they were living in a completely different world.
Makes sense, I believe you should tell him to lay off history books & get something else for him to read.
I personally hate the British & the French (no, not really, not that much) for taking away my country's foreign sovereignty & put the monarchy in disgrace by taking away territories rightfully ours (which never been returned to this very day I might add), inciting racism in the region & sparking religious intolerant to all of it's colonies (Colonizing process always include the divide & conquer tactic, you guys are bunch of pricks!). For some reason, when I read historical books of my neighboring countries, they seemed to hate my country so much. Honestly, my blood still boils whenever I read The White Man's Burden, it's so arrogant & offensive in so many ways.
Since both of you are in the US, tough luck. All I can say is for you to get him away from history books or around people or things that give him that mindset.
PS. I don't hate the French & the British really, just don't talk to me or ask me history during the late 19th century.
At the end of the day, I'm fairly sure the white people of today did not put his ancestors into slavery. I don't know why he's got sand in his vagina over the past. It happened, I get it, but it's not happening now, and it's not us that did it. It's shit like this that annoys me when people say only white people can be racist.
he pulls out the "well your not black so you don't understand" card. Which is something I can't really argue against (I'm black and spanish). But I asked my dad (who is black)
This right here is the irony gem.
He is saying that he has the right to hate white people based on what their ancestors did (to his ancestors, even), but YOU can't understand because YOU'RE not black— even though your ancestors clearly are.
What about white, rich European/Australian/whatever people whose ancestors never set their foot in America? I mean, there are a lot of people who come from a farmers lineage or something and who have only recently acquired money. There is no real justification about hating those for something their ancestors literally did not do. What's his stance on such people? Do they still fall under the 'hateable white rich people' file? because if they are and he says so, then you can point out just how much of a fucking hypocrite he really is!
He actually specifically targets europeans as well. "I hate europeans because they pretty much own all of africa right now." I don't know what to say to this because it's not something I research. Whether or not this is true is beyond my knowledge. I know he does have a tendency to sit at home and read about stuff he is interested in. Conspiracy theories, psychology and NLP...stuff like that.
... Finland owns all of Africa? xD Iceland have interest in non-local politics? Greece is actually a secret economic superpower, buying mile after mile of empty desert so that they won't have to put that money into something as useless as, I don't know, reversion of corrupted politics, healthcare, and making sure their people get to eat? How interesting. That's certainly news to me...
Well I'm european and I'm pretty sure I don't own anything in Africa at all. That sounds stupid.
You need to smack your friend upside the head and tell him to stop being a victim of something that doesn't affect him. Make him realize that attitude is dis-empowering and it puts him into a poverty-state of consciousness. If you loathe rich people then you will be less willing to become one because of your perception about them. If you come into a state of mind where you think money corrupts people then you will be less willing to achieve money and abundance for yourself. Your friend needs to stop blaming and complaining about events that never even happened to him and move on and live in the now moment. What matters is now. If you're living in the future you are full of anxiety. If you are living in the past you are depressed. If you are living in the present you are at peace.
Not all white people were/are rich and evil. Your friend there is stereotyping, and I think he has to get this over with. And about the ancestors thing, isn't that a thing of the past? Slaves and slave owners and plantations are over. Long over. The past doesn't mean the present.
He hates rich white people because of what their ancestors have done in the past.
No, he hates them because he's a racist. He can't really prove indefinitely who did what to whom in the past. The race card is old and has long since needed to be retired. I'd honestly stop keeping someone like that in my company, because it gets old really fast, and it's bs. He claims the whole "you don't understand because you're not black" but he knows nothing of what he complains about either. The only person holding him back is himself. Don't let him pull you down too.
Yes he admits to being racist, but it's annoying that he thinks that he has a right to be racist. And yeah at this point I'll probably distance myself from him for a while because he has been nothing but negative lately.
Unfortunately, in situations like this, when someone is adamant about their opinion it is very hard to change it unless they want to change themselves, or they are put in a life-changing situation. Sounds like neither of those are going to happen, so you will just have to agree to disagree. You could do that in a couple of ways: tell him that you don't want to hear it when he brings up the subject, straight up tell him to shut the fuck up, ignore him, or if it's ruining your relationship, stop being his friend.
I do think his point of view is extremely hypocritical; being a black person that is racist against white people (or anyone for that matter) is just as bad as a white person that is racist against minorities. Just because one was oppressed much more in the past doesn't make the other any more right or wrong. Sure there's still racism in our country and world, but we have it a lot better than our ancestors did and we should make the most of it. You friend doesn't have to worry about being lynched or discriminated against when he goes grocery shopping or to any public place, and we should all be thankful for that. Instead of wasting his time worrying about those "rich, white folks" (who he doesn't know shit about--their "ancestors" could not have been slave owners, or their wealth was accumulate last generation), he should be working to have a more positive outlook and maybe even try to abolish the racism that still goes on. In fact, there are many more "isms" that are arguably worse in this day and age, particularly sexism and classism. Change is not brought about by dismissing those he hates, it's by reaching out to them.
Honestly, you should just ask him to be honest about his feelings. He doesn't hate them because of the oppression of so long ago; he hates that he can't milk it to get what he thinks is his due. Jealous of their success and those of their ancestors, plain and simple. Now, if he got off his ass and stopped the complaining, he could in fact give his children the same success.
I don't go and break bread with someone I hate. The hypocrisy would make the meal unpalatable.
Tell him not to whine about things he can't change honestly. There will always be poor people as long as there are rich people, thats just life. Unless we manage to create a weird Utopia one day (which is heavily doubtful lol), this is how things will always be. He should focus on what HE wants to make of his own life and not so much on things hundreds of years in the past or other people with serious cash live their lives.
Your friend's hate is outdated. He belongs in the 18th century, like the rest of the blacks who can't get over our past. It's the PAST, a past which he wasn't a part of. Our ancestors suffered so that we can coexist with such "rich, white people." Maybe you should treat him like he expects you to, give him a taste of what such outdated negativity can get him.
I'm black, and I don't even understand. But then again, I like my life to be sensible, so maybe that's a good thing. I don't associate with such people.
Your friend is ignorant, which is ironic due to that he already fits into a black stereotype.
I'm tired of every black person I see fit into the travesty that we ourselves created with such hate and ignorance. Those expectations are being thrown on me. If black people have anyone to blame these days, it's themselves.