Whoo boy. My knee jerk reaction is that you need new friends.
Unfortunately, it is very unlikely that anything you say or do will be able to change his beliefs. At this point, he has his blinders on. I think you need to tally the pros and cons of continuing this relationship, because if you're internalizing his negativity it'll only cause you more trouble down the road, and you don't deserve it.
I would be outright with him: "Look, dude, I understand your point, but you're being disrespectful/ignorant/an asshole, and you're about to lose a friend over it. There are just as many racist, ignorant black people as there are white people." Will that change his views? Probably not, but it might make him realize what his callousness may cost him.
For a person to be truly ignorant of racism, they'd have to be incapable of experiencing it. He is a racist, he is directing racism at another race. Thus, by default that race is capable of experiencing and understanding the consequences of racism. Racism isn't something that affects only one race or only minority races. It can come from and be directed at ANY race. And until that is acknowledged racism will ALWAYS be around.
Heck, I've had someone tell me that because I was white that my ancestors could never have experienced tormoil, slavery or mistreatment and that whites don't have the emotional capacity to understand or suffer from it if they did. Never mind the fact my heritage is largely Germanic, Saxon, Irish and Native American (Cherokee & Sioux). And when faced with the plights of other races, I've had someone say that it wasn't as bad because they (Asians, Native Americans, ect) could pass as white. Unfortunately stupidity and ignorance has no limitations.
I'd ask him though, does he ate other blacks? Does he hate Africans? Because African tribes actively participated in slavery and were the primary source of slaves for Colonial and American Slave trade. African tribes were enslaving each other and selling each other to white slave traders. It was actually very uncommon for white slave traders to actively capture and obtain slaves through their own means when they could pay various tribes to do it for them cheaply or in trade for goods.
And just about every race & culture has participated in slave trade during their history... Some still do. That includes Blacks, Asians, Europeans, ect. And as a result, blacks aren't the only ones to have been victimized by the practice and whites aren't the only ones to have victimized others by the practice. And not all whites have ancestors that practiced slavery in early America. Some come from poor ancestry that couldn't afford slavery and many likely have early Colonial and American ancesters that were indentured servants (fancy title for white slaves tricked into servitude under a work for travel & keep contract)
And not only is your "friend" a racist, he is a race purist too since he actively disassociates you from part of your heritage due to you being mixed. That would be like someone telling me I'm not white because of my Native heritage (despite being fair skinned, blond and all. Some members of my family its more obvious with, the only thing that hints at it for me is my flat profile and high cheek bones that is a lot like my great grandmother's.). Then again, if someone asked me if I was Native American or if I understood the hardships of that part of my ancestral heritage I'd say no. Because I didn't experience if first hand, I can't even begin to imagine the extent of their suffering. And I was not raised within that culture, so I have not experienced what some tribes still struggle with today. Same goes for what my other ancestors may have faced. But I know hate won't improve it, it won't improve anything. And its wrong and disrespectful of him to use the hardships of his ancestors as an excuse for his hatred and poor behavior. If he really cared about what they went through, he'd work toward improving things and he'd be against racism rather than proud of it.
"But my problem is how do you put up with a racist who is typically crying about how rich white people are the primary reason for all thier troubles? I mean he is not only making black people look bad, but he is not helping out his own situations in life by blaming others."
He needs to learn to tell the difference between racist people and a racist system. Racism still exists, and there's nothing wrong to have strong feelings against that, but to direct it at white people as a whole isn't going to be very effective if he wants to do something about it. I mean, honestly, what does he think hating on white people is going to achieve? Balance it out? Because that's just not how it works.
Instead, approach it from an angle that white people nowadays hate racism as much as he does, and while they might be ignorant of it, they're potential allies in this battle against racism. You could point him to Tim Wise's website, who is a white anti-racism activist.
And if he doesn't see the difference between a system and the people inside it, hold him accountable for the war in Iraq or something. After all, he's an American, and America started that war where tens of thousands civilians were killed. Oh what's that, you're against the war? Well then why didn't you stop it?
I could hate on British people for what they did to my country, but I choose not to. It was so long ago, and they never did anything to me. I visited London for a few weeks, and they were very nice and patient helping me find directions and kept cheerful conversations.
I think his problem is that he hasn't had much contact with "rich, white people" and have not seen their good or positive sides.
Yes, some people won't just let it go, they live in the past and can't accept people of different sex and color change towards the years. My advice, ignore it. BUT if it's constant then leave that friend and accept him as an acquaintance.
I had a white "friend" who got crazy once he knew his ex-girlfriend slept with a black dude. He knew she had several lovers since they broke up 2 years ago(!!) but the black one was too much for him, my friend denied his ex's existence. I can't understand his logic. But he thinks he's not racist(like most of the people who posted on this thread), he actually thinks he's open minded and all. But he reveals when he faces a crisis.
=> I tell you this story to get to my point : your friend is not totally dumb, he's not totally wrong. He probably has many reasons to ask himself some questions.
Maybe he lacks words to explain them, that's why he points the wealthyness of some white people. But it's not only about this.
I know a guy freaked about that very same thing with his wife. I think he was insecure about his size and performance. He was one of those types of guys that needed constant re-assurance and I guess the stereotype about size made him totally insecure.. And his insecurities ultimately killed the relationship and they divorced. (he kept asking for details and reassurances regarding comparisons between himself and the other man for example. Non-stop.)
But seriously, the friend IS totally wrong. He is no better than the guy that got upset about his girlfriend having sex with a guy of a different race. You can't point at one racist and say "This/that is wrong" and then point at another racist and say "Well... Thats ok, I'm sure he has a good reason to hate others. I'm sure its not just that he is a racist." That is just stupid.
I'm a mixed black/white too, so I can understand YOU. As a third culture kid with mixed skin, I see the race issue in a distorted way compared to the rest of the world since my parents are black and white. I always thought I could be friend with everybody black or white, but with experience I realized that black people AND white people don't see the world as neutral as I do.
I 've met some white people who never had the chance to really be around black people as children, and the opposite aswell. They fear the unknown and once they grown up it's hard to change their mind, it becomes visceral.
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A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
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