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November 10, 2012
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I can't speak!?

:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I don't know whats wrong with me, I can't start conversations unless I'm spoken to. Either I'm nervous or I can't think of anything to say.... even then I can't hold a conversation.

I honestly can't! :(
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Devious Comments

:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"It is the province of knowledge to speak and the privilege of wisdom to listen." -:iconsixthdoctorplz:
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
You probable don't want to hear this, but It will probable get better with time. Don't try and think of something to say, just let it pour out.
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:icondeexie:
deexie Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Nothing's "wrong" with you,you're probably just a little shy,like so many others in this world :) There are 2 types of people,those who start a conversion and those who wait to be approched first...what if we would all start talking at the same time,it would be a mess xD I'm sure you'll built up your confidence with time, when you're approached just sway along with it and everything will run smooth.
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:iconvanhir:
Vanhir Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Speak to your doctor, see a counsellor perhaps.
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The last counselor I had said she was gonna go on vacation and never came back. We asked around and they sad she quit her job. :(
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:iconaeon88:
aeon88 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Why exactly do you get nervous? Do you know?
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've been home schooled for some time now.... I haven't really talked to anyone besides my momter and brother.... I get nervous and sometimes I can't speak. ^^;
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Home schooling is not good for social interaction, in fact it stunts social skills. You may get a better education but at what cost?
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I feel the same way... my mother does this because after she and my dad got divorced, she didn't want me getting separated from her in any way possible. DX
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:iconaeon88:
aeon88 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
That doesn't quite tell me why you get nervous. I'm thinking insecurity. You know, you're worried about sounding stupid or something.

Insofar as that's true, my advice is to intentionally say stupid shit to people. Not at a job interview or anything, but if you don't have to worry about consequences too much just say inane things and you'll realize that you can survive doing so. Once you're over that hump, general chatting might come more naturally to you.
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Afraid of sound like an idiot.. my expression also goes blank cause I get nervous sometimes... then I have to tell people what I'm feeling. It's so embarrassing. DX
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:iconidnidveifencetum:
IdNiDveifencetum Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You'll get over it. Talk and talk and talk and talk and talk until you get used to it. It's easy.
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I haven't really talked to anyone in person or on the phone cause I'm home schooled. ಠ_ಠ

But I'll try.
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:iconidnidveifencetum:
IdNiDveifencetum Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm home-schooled too. I know how hard it is without real-world friends.

I hope you do, and good luck.
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you. ^^;
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:iconidnidveifencetum:
IdNiDveifencetum Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome.
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Nothing is wrong. You're just a shy person. You'll grow out of it. Did you know that James Earl Jones used to have a terrible stutter. From what I understand it was hard to even understand him as a kid.

Then he went on to play Darth Vader.

So just think. You can't speak now, but one day you could play a big screen movie villain who will become legendary.

Or maybe a romantic hero.

Or maybe a... Well point is you'll get there.

:)
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you. :huggle:
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Your welcome. :)
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:iconceibita:
Ceibita Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
The best way to get on an extrovert's good side is to ask them questions about themselves. :P It's not that they don't care what you have to say--introverts listen, and extroverts talk. They'll love to sit there and tell you about stuff all day long. Extroverts actually tend to really like shy, quiet people because they're good listeners.

So, to get started, try asking other people about themselves and the things *they're* interested in. Start with broad questions like someone else suggested. If you don't feel comfortable talking about yourself or feel like people will think you're boring, this can help you get a conversation started. (I'm sure you have a lot more awesome things to say than you think you do, too)

Maybe join activities that will force you to be more extroverted, or watch how outgoing people start conversations, and try it out. If you embarrass yourself, it's ok. The point is, keep trying, and you'll get past this speaking block. If something doesn't work, try something else. There's nothing wrong with you!! Have more confidence in yourself. :)
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:D
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:iconpieaceofmind:
pieaceOfmind Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Artist
same shit here, unless ive known them for a while, like a year friendship probation period lol. its catted
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Exactly! :D
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:iconpieaceofmind:
pieaceOfmind Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Artist
you not speak cause you're unsure of the others opinion? or just feel a bit awkward around new people?
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Unsure of the other persons opinion. :D
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:iconrandomrobskii:
RandomRobskii Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student Filmographer
In that case, as a talkative person in retail, the best way to get customers into conversation is to know what their opinions are already. It's about being observant and not getting into contraversial topics. For example, good things to talk about are always the other person's interests. You talk to a man wearing a rugby shirt, you ask him about the team he supports, whether he thinks they'll win the whatever they win, and if he's been watching their matches. Someone's wearing a marmite T shirt, ask them if they love it or hate it. Pick up on the little things and you'll think of things to say, and you'll already know their answers. Get into the difficult stuff when you're confident around them :)
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I appreciate you help! :hug:
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:iconpieaceofmind:
pieaceOfmind Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Artist
haha ya for me its a bit of both, like when its just me n the new person and i cant think up conversation so its hella awkward the whole time lol. or i say some one liner that goes no where.

ive just accepted it, i prefer fewer close friends anyways. just sucks when you do want to meet someone..., oh well.

your defiantly not alone, ive looked this up before for myself, and their seems to be a number of people that are real shy. hell i had a friend who would only talk to me n my pal, ever that was spruce. we would try to force him to hang out, we were planning on kid napping him lol forcing him to chill one time. never happened unfortunately :)
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Same, I can't think up of anything! XD
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:iconpieaceofmind:
pieaceOfmind Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Artist
but then again remedial talk bores me, sometimes i cant stand talking to people.
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:icondeadpooljohnson:
DeadpoolJohnson Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You speak to me with no problem
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Most of the time when talk online, either way your usually the one that starts the conversation. I can't start conversations because I literally can't speak. I can't bring myself to do it. ^^;
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:icondeadpooljohnson:
DeadpoolJohnson Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wait you're not able to talk in real life
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Not unless you start the conversation, if I "try" to I might not be able to think of anything, or I might not speak cause I just can't. :/

But it's only like that when I'm talking to someone I don't actually know. D:
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:iconsiegeonthorstadt:
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
Speaking takes 2 people to happen. If the other side is not able to strike a conversation with you its not your fault.
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Okay. ^^
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:iconart-of-man:
Art-of-man Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I presume this difficulty is with strangers rather than people you know? Here in the UK we're famous for talking about the weather with strangers, so that tends to be the first opening line with ANYONE! LOL.

If you stop and look around at people having conversations, you'll see that they're basically talking about something that they share common knowledge of. It could be music, TV, politics, books etc. When starting a conversation with a stranger, we have to establish what we have in common, and use that as a starting point - and it's easier than it sounds! :)

The one thing that you have in common with a total stranger is that you're both in the same physical place - and that's your starting point. At the theatre "So, what do you think of the show?" At a party, "So, you enjoying yourself?" In a queue at a shop, "Mmn, busier than I thought it would be!" At the library, "Ooh, what's that author like, I'm not familiar with them?" Meeting new friends of friends, "So how do you know 'blah blah'?" etc

One of the great things about people is that for every person that finds it difficult to find something to talk about, there are loads who are more than willing to make up for them. In general, people love to talk about themselves, so the best way to keep conversations going is to ask 'open' or 'leading' questions. These are questions that people can't answer 'yes' or 'no' to, they have to give longer answers.

For instance, "What do you like doing in your spare time?" will mostly result in them giving several answers. One of those topics you may be familiar with and can then respond to. However, if there's nothing that you have in common, it also allows you to pick one of the topics and respond with something like "Oh, "blah blah" sounds different/interesting, what's that like?"

Of course, it may also be that the person you're shy or nervous of starting a conversation with, is just as shy and nervous as you are, and they're wishing you'd take the lead and talk to them!

At the end of the day, the easiest way to start a conversation is a simple friendly smile and a "Hi, how you doing?" - and as Farraj has said, practise! :)
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow that's really good. :D
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:iconart-of-man:
Art-of-man Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome. And of course, if the conversation stops you can always be perfectly honest and say "I'm not too good at talking (to new people), I get a bit nervous."

That will normally get you some sympathy and a bit of an encouragement response of "Don't worry, you're really good, you just need to do it more often." LOL ;)
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:iconstalkingmeat:
stalkingmeat Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
I suggest reading books.

Interesting books that is. Not some shitty romance novels. Philosophy, history, modern problems. Also the dialogues in books often show you how a good discussion could look like.
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That's a great idea! :glomp:
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:iconeldingagunman:
EldingaGunman Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
I find that this sort of things need to be talked about. If you can't get a friend to sit down and listen to you, then get a shrink to do so.
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:D
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:D
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:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
Let other people do the talking. Just say things like: 'That's interesting', 'Tell me more.', 'How do you feel about that?'
You can fake you way through conversations.
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Good idea! :glomp:
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:iconslippymagnus:
SlippyMagnus Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Just let them know that going in!

Tell someone that you're having issues talking with them, and then try for a Convo'. If they're helping, they'll waive your prollems (and eventually) you will too.

If they're not directly trying to help, just let them know, and try to uphold a conversation!
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Okay! :D
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:iconfuyuko7:
Fuyuko7 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I'm usually the one who does not start a conversation....
I usually stay quiet
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:icontheraiderinside:
TheRaiderInside Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Same. D:
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