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November 9, 2012
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Cutting... Almost

:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
So... the title says a lot... A few days ago I went to the bathroom and took a knife with me. I put it to my leg (I didn't want to use my arm since people would see it more easily and I guess m leg was the next safest place.) But I started trembling to bad and then i couldn't do it safely with out making a mess... I keep getting the urge to do it again that's all I think about most of the time...
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Devious Comments

:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012   Writer
There are much better things you can do to feel better than to cut yourself.

First of all, if you've been cutting for quite some time then my advice will not help at all, so just see a therapist if it's already an addiction. The therapist will help, not some random person on the Internet.

Second, if this was the first time you ever attempted at cutting then STOP. Don't try it again. Once you start you really can't stop without someone/something helping you stop (usually). Do an alternative such as 1) talk about how you feel to a trusted friend or adult, talk it out, let them comfort you. 2) hang out with friends. 3) go for a run or exercise. 4) wear a rubber band and just have it hit your arm or whatever...(explained that wrong and it's still bad to do but it still causes pain - just not lasting, severe, damaging, ect pain. 5) invest yourself in a hobby. 6) do stuff that makes you happy 7) get a pet or hang around your pet more often. 8) help others - volunteer at places. 9) go out more often. 10) think about why you are sad, why you wan to harm yourself, and give yourself advice you'd give to others. You'd want them to follow it through, wouldn't you? Take your own good advice. 11) get more involved in school. 12) sleep. 13) study something new. 14) draw or write. 15) mediate.

I could go on and I will if you want. Even if you do already cut, maybe the alternatives can help...but I don't guarantee it. I hope this helps.
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Cutting yourself never lessens, it just gets more intense and more frequent. I think getting some professional help would be a good move. I'm sure they have some free mental health clinics in just about every city. Don't wait.
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:iconhumanknotgirl:
humanknotgirl Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Sounds to me like you know deep down that you don't want to do it. You know, deep down, that there is a larger problem not yet addressed but you are strong enough to overcome it. You need to tell someone. You need to go to a parent, a teacher, a counselor, a doctor, or somebody who you can trust, and tell them that something is wrong, and that you want to address it, that you want to feel better about things and not resort to almost harming your body.
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:iconfillintheblankstares:
FillInTheBlankStares Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student Writer
Did you just randomly want to use the knife, or do you kind of already do similar things like scratching? Because from what I've heard from a psychological standpoint, you're more likely to have issues with it if you start by scratching and then move up in severity.

While I was trying to stop I would take it out on a piece of paper instead of myself by getting a notebook to scribble in when I got the urge really badly. Maybe that would help you, too?
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Iv been thinking about it for a while now, but yes I went straight to the knife.
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:iconfillintheblankstares:
FillInTheBlankStares Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student Writer
One thing you can try doing to distract yourself is whenever you start feeling like that, just find something to do. Tell yourself to think about it later and find something that requires all of your focus. It helped when I used to, but I'm not sure if there's a difference or not between people who want to and people who have.
You could also try learbing a craft like knitting or crocheting. It may sound random, but it takes so much focus that you forget about what's bugging you. Knitting also kinda hurts when you first start doing it because it uses obscure muscles, so it'll mimic he pain you want to feel without you doing any real harm to yourself.
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:iconelmida:
Elmida Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Get professional help, cutting doesn't solve anything. It's like taking pain killers for a headache when your skull is split open.
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:iconda1withdalongestname:
You're not the first person to think this

Don't do it, because it'll be more of a problem than it's worth. Besides, you didn't do anything wrong, there's no reason to punish yourself with that. Try to do something else or cut something else instead. Maybe folding a paper thick enough & cut them? Or maybe ask your parents can you help with the meat next time they're in the kitchen. I personally prefer burning things especially papers or dried wood, it's a good excuse into urging your family into a barbeque night.
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Nice idea about the babeque. :)
I do burn this sometimes, iv always liked doing that, mom called me a fire manic sometimes.
I never thought about it as punishing myself...
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:iconda1withdalongestname:
Well, I was almost an arsonist when the cloth dryer caught on fire, burning all the clothes on them. Lucky most of the clothes were mine so my mother didn't care. Even luckier, I put the fire out in time, well I got burns on both of my legs because I use hot oil, but nothing major, just scars due to improper wound treatment. But that's just because my mother didn't care enough to get me to the doctor.

Well it's obviously punishing yourself, punishing yourself for something you didn't do. I remembered you're having guy problems & the depression of your mother getting remarried correct? It's not your fault, so there's no need to put it on yourself by cutting yourself. A waste of fine skin I'd say.

:hug: There there, not to worry, things gonna be just fine.
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Good job! Well it's good that you did put it out in time and all.

Yah, that's correct.
I know it's not my fault, well, that part. Everyone says none of this i my fault. And In a way I believe it. But when I'm alone, it just seems like if i had done something better, been nicer, didn't get in so many fights with my sister, then maybe dad would not have left. I understand that none of it was my fault. i get that, but sometimes I still think that it is.
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:iconda1withdalongestname:
Yeah, you can feel that when you're close to someone, I felt that when my parents kicked my aunt off the house, she's like a mother to me than my actual mother. I used to look out the bedroom window & stand on the ledge & look down. Wonder how it would be like if I jumped off. Yes, I did get into trouble for that. But hey, if I did jumped, I wouldn't be telling you this story right now & who knows what would happen to you if we haven't talked :shrug:
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
That's really not nice of your parents. Did they not like her or something?
And i'm really glade you did't jump out that window, probable would have done something by now if you hadn't :hug:
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:iconda1withdalongestname:
Actually, I don't know. Everybody in my family tell different stories. My parents said because she slapped me, my aunt said it's because they are afraid that she'll take me away from them. But if you ask me, I believe my aunt for 2 reasons.
1) I have my first memories when I was extremely young, all I can remember was my aunt & spending time in her place while my parents never showed up, when they did, they tossed me around to live with them or their cousins. Even if I'm at my parent's place, all I can remember was my shouty nanny who kept forcing me to eat rum raisins & always cover her face thick with yoghurt.

2) The slapping incident happened a lot later than they claimed it was, not only that, it also happened long long before the last time they kicked her out. The last time they did was because I prefer to be with her than them. My parents kept using the slapping incident as reasons for kicking her out, believing I was too young to remember anything.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... I can't believe I can still remember these stuff, yet I'm struggling terribly in math class :rofl:

Ok, enough of that
Well, I can't let my internet younger sister who is not related to me in any way didn't I? What kind of an internet older brother would do that? :pat:

My offer still stands though, you can talk to me whenever you like :)
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
That's really terrible that your parents would lie to you like that. I'd be thinking the same things you are.
I know. I remember little things from when I was like 9 and yet I don't remember what I did a week ago!

You really think of me as your internet sister?
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(1 Reply)
:iconvanhir:
Vanhir Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I wouldn't advise starting.
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:iconevelyntaliette:
EvelynTaliette Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
Get someone. Talk to them. Get a psychiatrist if "no one wants to listen to you". Think about your problems. Fix them. Cutting is a symptom of inner problems. It will only leave scars that prove you had problems in your teen years.
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:icontuftedpuffin:
tuftedpuffin Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
Speaking from 12 years of experience...don't do it. Please. Tells somebody you trust sooner than later, and if they won't listen, find someone who will. I wish I hadn't started in the first place.
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:iconphanthom-art:
PhanThom-art Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Talk to your parents or someone else close to you, it's what helped me stop.
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:iconvaliawolfie:
ValiaWolfie Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
There's no point in it ;w; and if you start it will be really hard to stop.
At least I was like that at a point, when I did cut, I found it was like an addiction. Had to do it every.. other day, I believe?
I think the only thing that truly made me stop was cause I was visiting family, it wasn't easy to try anymore. And I had my cousin upset with me cause he found the cuts. Even though they were on my leg o-o uhm, anyways, I don't think you should do it.
It's a pointless and degrading thing to do.
Getting caught is absolutely humiliating, there isn't many lies to make them think it isn't cuts either. I didn't find any at least.
So try to not think about it, do things that get your mind off the thought. It will stop being so frequent eventually.
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:iconidnidveifencetum:
IdNiDveifencetum Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Why do you try to hurt yourself? That's like showing how affected and weak you are to the person who caused all your pain and whatever. Trying to hurt yourself because you're in pain is yielding, surrendering - which means that you've lost, and you can't take it anymore. Think about this whenever you're on the verge of hurting yourself again. If the people who've hurt you and want to bring you down see what you're doing, how would they feel? It would be bliss. And you don't want that, do you? Do you want them to laugh and make fun of you? They're going to feel happy about the fact that they're doing a great job of bringing you down and hurting you.

And if you have any pride or dignity, you wouldn't cut/hurt yourself. Don't let them taste a sweet victory. You have a right to be happy. Everyone does.

And as everyone else said, cutting yourself won't solve ANY of your problems.

Good luck, and I hope this helps. And don't ever think of cutting yourself again, k?
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:iconfreespyrodragon:
freespyrodragon Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Cutting isn't a solution. It's just a temperary mark to a temperary situation. I know how it feels though, I have been struggling with this for years. But it's not the way to go. Please listen to me when I say this. I can't stop. I'm addicted. Trust me ... You don't want to become addicted to something so stupid as that. Just talk it out with your friends and it will get better, okay hun? Keep holding on.
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:iconhorrificsensation:
HorrificSensation Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
dont be stupid and cut yourself. get help. TALK to your parents. talk to somebody that can sit down and help you. dont be stupid and cut yourself... >_> thats not gonna do shit except leave ugly scars.
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:iconangelxxuan:
angelxxuan Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
cutting is a bad thing to get into, some people get into it because they feel hollow and cutting issues they are alive, until the day cutting no longer hurts, then what is done? to be honest, you should seek some help, if possible. talking to a trusted person or someone without an opinion in this matter also helpful. cutting has an underlying issue and what causes people to do it. as a recovering cutter I would suggest you not get into this dark path, to me it because nearly addicting. try focusing your sad side with positive thoughts, maybe trying doing something else, like reading a book, walking outside, watching a movie and so forth. truth me you will feel better without adding cutting to your life.
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:iconsiegeonthorstadt:
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
Everytime you want to cut yourself, hit or kick the wall instead. Its not as dangerous..
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:iconandharian:
Andharian Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student General Artist
you want attention?
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
What do you mean?
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:iconandharian:
Andharian Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student General Artist
I mean, are you doing it to seek attention, or to somehow manage the despair and anguish in your life. Why are you doing it? What do you think it will solve? You need to know the reason as to why you were going to do it, so you can replace it with something less destructive.
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
I'm not looking for attention... I don't know what i'll accomplish by doing this... maybe fell the pain I'm felling inside outside as well?
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:iconandharian:
Andharian Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student General Artist
How about you do this. Every-time you feel sad, or depressed, use the energy to make a little origami star and put it in a jar. This way, when the jar starts filling up, you`ll be reminded of how strong you are. The legend is that, when you make 1000 stars, you can make a wish.
[link] <-- tutorials.
Good luck, dear.
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
That actually sounds really good. Thanks. I might really try that. Thanks. :)
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:iconandharian:
Andharian Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student General Artist
Anytime bro c:
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
:)
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:iconphantasmastriker:
PhantasmaStriker Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
Cutting yourself isn't going to solve your issues other then leaving scaring or possibly infection. Take up a hobby or a vigorous activity like karate or boxing to keep your mind off cutting.
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:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
you need to learn better ways of coping with your issues. Cutting or any type of self harm is not the way to go. Why don't you try channeling your feelings with something else, like art. Instead of cutting, draw or paint what you feel. Doesn't have to be a masterpiece either. Could be something as simple as splattering paints all over a canvas.
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:iconslippymagnus:
SlippyMagnus Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel what you're feeling.

I actually just up and opened my arm up in the kitchen. Hand on knife, and I opened up the back of my wrist. Go try to find your problem, whatever is making you feel so hurt inside that you need to cut yourself open, if for nothing but just to hurt OUTside too, needs solving.

I wet IceCubes and rubbed them against where I would have cut myself, took a scalding shower, and then tried to sleep.
Rest up, as you do this, you will get either TIRED like never before, or not at all, but no matter which path you're expending energy.

REM sleep is important for this sorta thing.
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:iconart-of-man:
Art-of-man Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Okay. Let's see what we can do about this. Firstly, you need to understand that self-harming is a short term solution to a long term issue. You may feel 'better' after you've done it, but within a short space of time you'll feel the need to harm again - and this can lead to all manner of health issues in the long term. What you really need to do is deal with the underlying emotional issues that are currently upsetting you, and whilst events may be out of your control, how you process and deal with them IS under your control. The first step is that you MUST talk to someone. Deciding whom you can trust with such personal information can be difficult. Choose someone who isn’t going to gossip or try to take control of your recovery. Ask yourself who in your life makes you feel accepted and supported. It could be a friend, teacher, religious leader, counselor, or relative. But you don’t necessarily have to choose someone you are close to. There are also many support sites on the internet that can provide contacts and further advice - often anonymously.

As a teenager, we often feel that life is out of our control. Our bodies are changing, we're becoming more adult in our thoughts and feelings, and when there's disruption to our home life it's easy to have a sense that suddenly you're on your own, no-one understands you and no-one cares. Trust me, you're not on your own, there are people who DO understand you, and they care enough to want to help you help yourself.
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:iconperfectreflections:
PerfectReflections Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hey instead of cutting tyr other things like. scribbling hard on paper. go for a hard run. do anything that takes some of your energy and maybe some anger out too. it will help
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012
I'll try it...
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:iconperfectreflections:
PerfectReflections Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
K :)
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:iconsatoshi444:
Satoshi444 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Student General Artist
Gosh, don't cut yourself my friend! It won't do you any good, trust me. Just try to do something else better. Like listening to musics, draw, or maybe play with video games and stuff. Cutting is only for cowards. They do it because they want to feel pain and be miserable by themselves because they don't know how to figure a way out. Wait! I'm not saying you're a coward, but don't try to become one. Stand and face em with strength, not with pain and sorrow. Pain and stuff won't answer you a thing.
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
Maybe I am... I'm pretty lame to even think this... sorry.
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:iconsatoshi444:
Satoshi444 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Student General Artist
Or maybe you don't? Come on, there's always a chance to change...
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
I'm pretty bad at changing. Sorry.
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:iconsatoshi444:
Satoshi444 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Student General Artist
No need to apologize hon:D I'm sure you can.
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
oh... sorry...
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:iconsatoshi444:
Satoshi444 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Student General Artist
GOSH! Would you....uh forget it:icononionsighplz:
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:icongragonwings:
Gragonwings Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
Sorry... ops! I just got into the habit of saying that because that's what everyone expected of me...
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(1 Reply)
:iconx666nightmare666x:
x666NiGhTmArE666x Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
I know how that feels. Don't do it. It will only make you look weak. You have to deal with you problems maturely. I'm sure you can do it. Talk to someone close to you and that you trust, it'll help.
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:iconkhirate:
Khirate Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, at least you've recognized there's a problem.........
May I ask though, do you know why you cut? Is it because it's to relieve stress or emotions, is it because you slightly believe that you want to die, or is it because you enjoy feeling pain? Or is it because of something else?
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