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November 6, 2012
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Replies: 13

What would you do?

:iconakimadoll:
AkimaDoll Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Professional Photographer
So, despite the fact that I avoid this particular forum like the plague, I don't really have any other place I can safely ask this:

If you know for a fact that a guy you know had had a friends-with-benefits relationship for an extended period of time with a third party behind the back of his long-distance girlfriend (a FWB relationship that would probably still be happening except that the third party found out about the girlfriend and was mad as hell at being lied to about the guys relationship status), would you tell the girlfriend (who also happens to be a friend)?

I mention that all of the above parties are in their mid-twenties, so as much as it sounds like it it is sadly not a high-school-bullshit-drama.

I'm really torn about whether or not the GF should be told, because things are getting serious enough that she is job and apartment hunting in his area so that they can be together more, and I don't want her to move out of her home state away from all her friends and family only to find out that she's dating an asshole.
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:iconglori305:
Glori305 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012
For me, it would depend on how well I knew all those involved.

How would you feel if he came to you and asked you why you told her? How would you feel if she came to you and asked why you did not tell her?
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:icon2lazy2talk:
2lazy2talk Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
it really depends. Are you close friends with the girl? Or any of them? If not, I think you can only advise the boy to stop behaving like and idiot.

Besides from that, I'd probably stop being friends with the guy, I don't like cheaters at all.
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:iconincandescentinsanity:
IncandescentInsanity Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Student General Artist
Wow. Glad I'm single. Relationship drama is the worst drama
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:iconcedarwoods:
CedarWoods Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think that people can have more than one relationship at a time, as long as they're honest with each other. Letting her know about the guy sneaking could potentially break them up, but ask her to think about how she feels about open relationships before she goes off and dumps his cheating ass.

A better idea actually, might be to approach the guy, and ask him to come clean to his girlfriend, and tell her that it was his bad to do such a thing without her approval.

Let's say that two people have been together for four years (just a random number). Things are starting to get a bit boring between them. The dates aren't as interesting, the sex is dry (sorry for that), and they just feel like things aren't going anywhere.

Solution 1: Promise to stay friends, but break up as BF & GF.

Solution 2: Each go out and start having on the side affairs. At the end of the day this could make their relationship with each other more exciting.

Think of it this way: A lot of guys suffer from a condition which makes them have to prove that their bigger and better. So if the GF has recently gone on a great date with her side-dish lover then her main course lover will feel the need to prove himself.

Or maybe he'll be cool with it, and understand that their are just some things that he can't give her.
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:icondynamiteboy8:
dynamiteboy8 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree. Tell. Better to look a fool of a truth than ignorant of a lie.
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:iconsiantjudas:
siantjudas Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012   Digital Artist
For me it would depend on how good I knew the parties. If the person being lied to was a good friend, I probably would tell them. But often, especially if they aren't in my inner circle I will try to keep myself out of the drama, and not be the catalyst, simply because I've sen what happens when that happens, and it's a mess for everyone involved.
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:iconarmonah:
Armonah Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012
The problem with telling the cheating boyfriend first is that if his girlfriend "somehow" finds out what's going on, they will know who told her.

She deserves to know, though. She's about to take a huge leap of faith for a guy who might not take that relationship all too seriously.
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:iconthegroovymurphy:
TheGroovyMurphy Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I would talk to the guy first and see if you can get him to tell her.
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:iconk1k0r0:
k1k0r0 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I agree, better to give him te chance to come clean. If he doesn't, well then I would tell my friend about the situation.
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:icondoomblade2712:
Doomblade2712 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012
Find out if the girlfriend is allowing this sorta thing to be going on? And yes, as said talk to the boyfriend first before saying anything... Secrecy will just make the end result of anyone's relationship involved a big mess, tho you could be the one getting some of the blame for saying the ugly truth~ But hey, someone has to clean the sh*t, right?!
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