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November 6, 2012
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Frustrated.

:iconbefxox:
befxox Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student General Artist
I'm sick too death now of being shy.
since i can remember i have been stupidly quiet, more so over the past 2 years, i have literally became disconntected from all my old friends and past.
I have always been self concious, which i cant really help, i can force myself too love myself, i am a happy person, dont get me wrong, but i just wish i could say whats on my mind without worrying if i make a complete fool off myself... i hate looking back and thinking 'why didnt i say that' 'why didnt i do that'
what frustrates me the most is ive been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now, spend most weekends at his house and i cant even cough out a sentence too his family :/ does anyone else go through this? what helps D: im 18, not loong till i finish college and start work, i wont be able to do what i want too if i carry on like this :/
stressing!
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Devious Comments

:icon2lazy2talk:
2lazy2talk Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
there's really nothing you can do besides taking the risk of making a fool of yourself. It may happen, it may not. It WILL happen from time to time but that's normal. Happens to everybody.
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:iconsiegeonthorstadt:
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012
Theres no fix for this. I know from myself. You can work around the problem though. Like just doing the most stupid things imaginable. When you do the most stupid things that a person can do in a social environment than social interaction becomes easier.
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:iconthemalloryperson:
TheMalloryPerson Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I completely understand. I'm sick of being shy too. Some even asked me the other day "Why are you so shy?" In truth, I'm just that way. I feel like my friends are drifting away from me. However, to help your problem I say this.
Even though you are shy, maybe start by just writing down your thoughts. Perhaps when you get used to writing your thoughts, maybe it may lead to being more open?
Just a suggestion, from someone who is the same way almost.
Bottom line, I'm shy and weird, but I'm friendly once you talk to me. Best of luck to you! Trust me, when you practice writing your thoughts, you'll get more comfortable expressing them.
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:iconkaida-22:
Kaida-22 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I have recently experienced something similar to this as I never used to be shy as a child but now I find myself getting more and more introverted. I used to have a lot of friends but as we grew up we drifted apart. Lately I've been trying to integrate myself into new social groups to make new friends. The more time that I've spent with them however, the more I can feel myself opening up and becoming less awkward around them.

Maybe you just have to come to terms with your shyness. Acknowledge it, but refuse to let it run your life. Put your self out there bit by bit and maybe if you spend enough time with someone you'll really get to know them and make new friends.

If your shy about what your responses to people, maybe instead of responding to them you could ask them some questions. If they are responding to things you ask then you don't have to worry as much about what to say!

Ask your boyfriend if there are any family issues that you shouldn't ask about (generally good to know so you don't stick your foot in your mouth) and then jot down a few general questions to ask each person (stay away from heated topics like divorce or politics, etc.). Next time you see his family, make it a goal to ask each person one question about themselves. One of the first things I asked my boyfriend's mom when I met her was if she had any funny or embarrassing stories about my boyfriend when he was growing up. This really opened her up and we laughed at his expense for quite awhile (luckily he's a good sport like that). I'm sure you could start a few conversations that way!

:hug: Good Luck!
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:iconsignsofortune:
signsofortune Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012
dear befxox,

i feel exactly the same way. even the friends i feel closest to/like the most, often i am afraid to say anything to them. i am mortally shy in almost every circumstance.

there are however a few exceptions.
1. when i am super exhausted, like if i have worked 2 10 hour shifts and not slept for 25 hours, i get too tired to be shy, and then I open up to people.

2. i am less shy when i am talking to someone one on one.

3. when it comes to animals, i am suddenly less shy also. for example, if i see a pretty stray cat on the street, i am not afraid to say to a stranger, "that is such a pretty cat!" and start to talk to them.

My advice would be perhaps to find the things that make you less shy, and try to acquire those circumstances sometimes. that might help your relationships to other people, and maybe even help you overcome shyness elsewhere.

this is only a theory as I have not overcome my shyness; I work as a cashier too and i have to talk to people every day, but when it comes to talking about something for myself, i am mortally afraid.

I hope i have helped somehow.

-sof
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:iconbefxox:
befxox Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Student General Artist
i get the tired thing... im the same when im tired, i dont really care, but its more too do with people i WANT too like me, i get even nervous then someone mentions im shy then its like bam, ten times worse :/
one on one im absolutley fine, still abit curious, but fine D;
aww aha, i have a soft spot for animals too >.<
yeah :/ i see what you mean, i just gotta get myself comfortable, sounds silly but even the way i look makes me confident or shy :/ i feel my biggest issue is honestly my self confidence...
thankyou so much for your reply :) note me anytime :) xx
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:iconsignsofortune:
signsofortune Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012
:hug:
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:iconidnidveifencetum:
IdNiDveifencetum Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
When you're a really shy and secluded person, it's really hard to open up and talk to people. But talking to people can become a breeze.
Here's what I do. I just talk to people bit by bit, progress is slow but sure. As long as you keep talking, you won't feel awkward anymore. If you get used to it, you won't screw up.

P.S. Good luck and I hope this helps.
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:iconbefxox:
befxox Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Student General Artist
thankyou :) it really does help! ima just give it day by day and push myself as much as i can xx
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:iconidnidveifencetum:
IdNiDveifencetum Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Good luck.
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:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
seek therapy or some type of counseling.
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:iconbefxox:
befxox Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Student General Artist
been there, done that D; xx
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:iconturkevulture:
TurkEvulture Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
I'm quiet too. Give yourself time to open up to people.
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:iconbefxox:
befxox Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Student General Artist
thankyou :) x
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:iconeuterpe-the-egret:
Euterpe-The-Egret Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
You need to learn to love yourself (an exercise that I've heard helps is looking in the mirror every morning and evening and finding 5 good things to tell yourself and then repeating that you are worth being loved and that you love yourself).

Once you love yourself you can move forward and become brave. Sometimes you just need to jump out there and try it out. It may be uncomfortable at first but it won't always be like that.
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:iconbefxox:
befxox Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student General Artist
thankyou :) i do just need too get a grip and push myself really but i always feel like theres something blocking me too do so D; xxx
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:iconeuterpe-the-egret:
Euterpe-The-Egret Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
You are the only one blocking you. Try the mirror trick. 5 genuinely positive things about you and then tell yourself that you deserve to be loved, you have self worth, and that you love yourself. Also working on changing negative thoughts into positive ones during the day can help. Changing "I can't" to "this isn't that bad" or "this may be hard but I can do this" really can made a difference.

Good luck. :D
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:iconbefxox:
befxox Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student General Artist
thankyou! :D
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:iconeuterpe-the-egret:
Euterpe-The-Egret Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
No problem.

Just remember that the conviction you feel now will fade if you don't act and continuously remind yourself why you wish to become more social and outgoing.
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:iconbefxox:
befxox Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student General Artist
cant force myself too love myself*
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:iconladyzelda1:
LadyZelda1 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
I looked at your profile. You don't seem to be like the person your portray here. Are you just trolling?
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:iconbefxox:
befxox Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student General Artist
nooo, i'm not that type of person? :s kinda a weird thing too troll about, i've seen a few stupid trolling forums on here which just annoy me really, everyone seems different on paper too person :)
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