Porn = Cheating?


OhHeyItsYou's avatar
Last night I was browsing through my Patner's web history. It seems that she was looking at porn. Should I worry about this? Is this considered cheating? I'm worried that she might be attracted to others rather then me.....
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Nightshade255's avatar
watch porn WITH her.

Best of both worlds.
LanaXx's avatar
I personally see things a bit differently than most of the comments I have read. My boyfriend and I both don't watch pornography. We decided not to do that, in order to fully only enjoy each other. I am not saying this is the right way to go about it, every relationship is different, I do though believe that not watching pornography has advantages.

One of the advantages is that, I believe, it contribuates to my boyfriend and me having a great sex life together. I believe, without being certain, that not being constantly stimulated by pornography makes performance in real life better. This is what I have experienced personally, at least.

Also, I found that by just focusing on my boyfriend and not constantly talking about being turned on by other people, and not watching pornography, I have come to a point where I really only get turned on by my boyfriend. Because what I associate with sex is him.

Besides, I feel like, we live in the 21. Century. Most of us don't need a mate to survive, we are fine on our own. That means we chose to be with someone because we want to be with them. Since no such thing as life or death is holding us together, I find it very romantic and meaningfull and empowering to the relationship to tell one another you are together because you only want each other. And to show that by only focusing on each other sexually, by for instance, not watching pornography and not talking about your fetishes for other people with each other.

I know this is probably not for everyone, and I truly respect that, and do not think it is wrong at all.
LanaXx's avatar
As for it being cheating or not, that is always up to the people in the relationship to decide, in my opinion :)there is no universal answer
prosaix's avatar
Well... you're on deviantart...
MyPetWussy's avatar
She is attracted to others. Why don't you just be grateful she isn't out screwing them and quit being a nosy ass?
sbarr12's avatar
Why do you think that?
CedarWoods's avatar
I don't think it's cheating. I think porn is degrading to women, but it's not cheating. I don't know about gay male porn though. Whatever the case, it's not cheating. Also, it's healthy for your partner to be attracted to other people.

Plus, I think that it's wrong to go snooping through someone else's web history, but I have no control over what other people do.

If you find yourself having feelings of attraction for someone else, be honest with your partner.
If you're lucky, maybe you'll get involved in a threesome.

Cheers
monsterunderbed20's avatar
listen to me, porn is not cheating. and it is nothing to worry about.
i watch porn with my boy friend and with out him.
its a arousal that people have. its just like any other kinda fetish out there,
ur partner i promise u is just as attracted to you as ever. and probably more so then most the people on the tapes.
i went through my mans laptop and was shocked at the amount of porn on his computer. its normal.
try watchiing some of the porn and see what hes really into. maybe eve take ideas from the tapes thats what i do.
:)
SqueezeBoxx's avatar
Watching porn isn't cheating. My boyfriend watches porn now and then and if I'm honest, sometimes I even find myself venturing on to those sites - it has nothing to do with being attracted to other people but instead just experimenting and being comfortable with your own sexuality - Personally, I think it's quite healthy (if it's not too frequent a habit).

You might feel more comfortable with it if you were to watch it with her and maybe experience it together - then you might get a real insight in to what's going on.

Or if you feel so strongly against it, you should speak to her about it but I am sure you have nothing to worry about :) Chin up.
erarosaimmortal21's avatar
Watching porn isn't cheating.
SapphiraTheMongoose's avatar
Not at all! Think of it like viewing fetishes; she's not looking at it because she doesn't love or want you, it's just a tool she uses to get off! Just seeing these people as "sex objects" instead of people, that's what porn is! A quick way to stimulate your nerves and relax and nothing more. ^^
Cujjo's avatar
Ofcourse watching porn isn't cheating, atleast not according to me (And I guess most people). However, if you really do consider it as cheating, you might should have told her earlier.
Besides, why where you checking her web history? It isn't really fair, it is kind of like reading someones diary. Did you look for something specific or are you just over protective/very jelous?

My best advice for you is to speak with her about this. She might (= Probably) get angry but it is better to take the discussion now, rather than later. Good luck!
BrunoMonsterberg's avatar
Do you look at porn?

And don't worry. It's just porn. If she was attracted to someone entirely, then yes, worry. But you probably won't. You're partner cares for you and just uses porn as a venue for something. What, I don't know.
psaply's avatar
Are you sure she wasn't just browsing the Daily Deviations?
Zetikla's avatar
Idk I dont really feel like it was "cheating" but thats my viewpoint only so meh
Numb3r34's avatar
Of course she's attracted to people other then you. Hell, you're attracted to people other than her. Do you expect her to be any less human?

As for the porn thing, don't miss the opportunity for you and your girl to start watching porn together.
Svataben's avatar
No, porn is not cheating.
2ndecho's avatar
I believe there was a survey that was intended to be for men who did not view porn. They could not find enough men who to participate to justify the grant money they wanted. Point is: very few adult men don't view porn at some point in their lives. Many, many view it regularly. If it's normal for men, it's normal for women.

Porn is like fantasizing, except you're using some visual help. If you stay in a relationship long enough, you will start fantasizing about other people, whether it's celebrities or imaginary people or what not. As long as the fantasies are not about someone you know personally, it's probably healthier to indulge such fantasies than not to.

In other words, if I were a guy, I'd much rather date a woman who watched porn than one who was against it. It would mean we could probably have fun watching some together. If you've been married for 15 years, being able to do that is very helpful for keeping your sex life interesting.
divine--apathia's avatar
Porn is not addictive. Porn is not unhealthy. Porn is not twisting anything. Porn isn't necessarily cheating or taking anything away from a relationship (Anyone who says otherwise is uneducated)

However, you obviously do not feel comfortable with it, you need to talk to your partner.
Capilair's avatar
what the heck dude why are you looking through your girlfriends web history? thats some intense space-invading
Honey-Songs's avatar
It's not cheating. it's just watching sex. not actually having it LOL