Relationship Issues

~ASmallDaisy Aug 9, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

So my girlfriend have been chatting with a group of people her best friend met. It's two other guys. I've told her my concern (cuz I'm her boyfriend and worry) and she tells me she doesn't talk to the two boys unless her best friend is involved cuz she doesn't know them that much.

Then a few days later I found out she HAS been interacting with them and one of the boys keeps calling her pretty and amazing.

I'm outright pissed. I trusted her word and she lied to me. I'm on the verge of just ending it but I do not want to jump to conclusions. I feel if I talk to her I'd end up yelling and I don't want to do that.

I don't know what to do. Can I ask for help?

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Devious Comments

~Glori305 Aug 9, 2012

Ummmmmmmm you have a problem if your GF is talking to other guys....when they are part of a group including her best friend.

So, what she has told you is that she only hangs out with them when her best friend is there. And you found out that when they are there, she talks to them. And one of these two guys thinks she is pretty amazing. It's not her fault that other guys think she is cool....because she is obviously pretty darn cool, you like her too.

Depends on what "interacting with them" means. If it means she went shopping, ran into these guys, and they all stopped to have a soda and a chat before parting ways, no problem. If she is sneaking of to their homes and lying to you about it, problem. But you also do not say how you found all this out.

There is just too little information here to give you any help.

~Zetikla Aug 9, 2012 Student Photographer

Thats a tough issue you have there..well, you should ask her to make sure

*PandaHaren Aug 9, 2012

To me it sounds like you're the problem. Jealousy never helped no one and you can't stop your girlfriend from having male friends - not even those who think she's pretty and amazing.

~the-ghostfactory Aug 9, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I don't think you should yell or get too angry, it would seem like you're trying to control who she's allowed to hang out with. I think you should do what the others have suggested, just sit her down and voice your concerns.

~ThatGuyPsy Aug 9, 2012 Professional Interface Designer

Don't stand for that crap. Break it off, yeah?

!Ashieepants Aug 9, 2012

=Self-Epidemic hit the nail right on the head.

I know if my boyfriend knew of another guy calling me beautiful, sexy and such on a near-daily basis, he would get mad, and he's every right to. I have male friends, and none of them have called me that. They all respect the relationship I have with my boyfriend.

And that relationship has extremely high levels of trust and respect. So if you two aren't respecting each other then yes, I would consider ending it. Talk to her first, try getting through to her by taking =Self-Epidemic's advice.

=Self-Epidemic Aug 9, 2012 Professional Digital Artist

I feel so proud that you said my advise was good :'D

!Ashieepants Aug 9, 2012

It truly is.

Makes so much sense.

=Octobers-Rust Aug 9, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

You shouldn't be controlling who she talks to. It's kind of abusive :\

~kafine Aug 9, 2012 General Artist

You do need to talk to her about it. Take some time and try and drop the anger though, first. Yelling at her will not be productive. Looking like you're controlling and paranoid is likely to make her end it with you first. So really, do try and chill.

The problem here is that you said you didn't like her talking to other guys in the first place. What was "your concern" that you told her?

Think about it; why did she feel like she couldn't tell you that they started to interact more? If your first instinct is to feel that your relationship is challenged by her simply interacting with other boys, don't you think that would encourage her to hide stuff from you that she feels is harmless?

I think that firstly, you could stand to apologise for making comment about her freindship with them to begin with. She's allowed to have freinds and some of them will be male. Then say that you would prefer she be more up-front about her socialisation with guys because it makes you feel insecure when she hides that from you. Proceed to have a conversation about the guy who fancies her and whether continuting to see him would be unfair to him, because she's agreed to be with you, right?

You may find that you mutually agree that your needs of exclusivity do not match hers at this time, and end on good terms.

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