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Posted: August 9, 2012

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Relationship Issues

~ASmallDaisy Aug 9, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

So my girlfriend have been chatting with a group of people her best friend met. It's two other guys. I've told her my concern (cuz I'm her boyfriend and worry) and she tells me she doesn't talk to the two boys unless her best friend is involved cuz she doesn't know them that much.

Then a few days later I found out she HAS been interacting with them and one of the boys keeps calling her pretty and amazing.

I'm outright pissed. I trusted her word and she lied to me. I'm on the verge of just ending it but I do not want to jump to conclusions. I feel if I talk to her I'd end up yelling and I don't want to do that.

I don't know what to do. Can I ask for help?

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~AmalaAzula Aug 10, 2012 Digital Artist

oops, pressed enter. anyway, they can't be friends because from what I've seen from other people's experiences, feelings get involved. Casual flirting and so on. Just hope your gf isn't one of those girls that will fall for another guy because he's sweet talking her. I mean if she really loves you, she wouldnt do anything behind your back that was shady. Don't be acting like a storm house about it, be mature when you ask her about it.

~AmalaAzula Aug 10, 2012 Digital Artist

Like everyone else is saying, ask her, talk to her about it. I have a saying that I learned from someone, girls and guys can't be "friends"

~DutchConnaisseur Aug 9, 2012

Never ever forbid your partner form interacting with other people. What the hell do you think you have that right?
This is exactly what happens if you do a moron thing like that.

~phoenix-feather Aug 9, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Don't yell, that just makes you look like a controlling jerk, she's your girlfriend, not your property. What kind of 'interacting' is she doing? going places with them? texting? talking on facebook? not all interaction is equal. Also it's one thing to just avoid people in person unless conditions are right (ie: her friend with her). But if these guys are say, messaging her on facebook or texting or something, then she can't realistically say 'oh my friend's not here, I can't even talk to you right now.' And if this guy keeps flirting with her, but she's not flirting back, then that isn't her fault. Guys hit on girls all the time whether the girl is interested or not, in a relationship or not, and it can be really uncomfortable, but it's also hard to shoot someone down. Girls get the message that it's 'mean' or 'rude' to tell a guy flat out that we're not interested in them and we want them to stop flirting. And a lot of the time even if we do say that, they'll keep flirting anyway. And yeah, she may kind of like the attention and being reminded that she's attractive. You say this guy calls her pretty and amazing... does she ever hear that from you? Sometimes after a while couples stop telling each other nice things and start taking each other for granted, and when you don't hear anything nice for a while then even unwanted flirting can remind you that you ARE appealing to someone at least.

~TheTuscany Aug 9, 2012

Don't yell at her. The fact that she's fibbing might just because it really is nothing and she doesn't want you to get angry or worry about it. So I would calmly talk with her about how it makes you uncomfortable and maybe ask that she talks with this guy who keeps complimenting her to make sure he understands she's taken.

A little concern is understandable, but there needs to be trust between you two for a healthy relationship to exist, and you don't seem to be trusting her.

~Mystyne Aug 9, 2012

You shouldnt be too upset if she's talking to other guys. You cant expect her to only talk to you and her girlfriends. If another boy is giving her complements, there is nothing that she can do about that but tell him to stop. Either he will or he wont. As long as she doesnt act on these complements and hurt you, you shouldnt worry. But talk to her calmly about it. Ask her whats going on.

*kankitsuru Aug 9, 2012 Student Digital Artist

You gotta talk to her about these things and really let her know how you feel. If you guys are dating, you should be able to talk about anything right? And if she really is flirting with those guys, forget her! No one should have to deal with that. But yeah talking definitely helps

~NekoNatsume Aug 9, 2012 Student General Artist

I learned this from a you tube rant, a day ago. If a girl is telling you she is seeing " a guy friend " or sorts, most of the time , its not only a " friend " . So watch out

~Avenvia Aug 9, 2012 Student Writer

Sit her down and talk to her properly. Chances are, she feels nothing but friendship for the boy in question, and so doesn't consider that you might not like her talking to him.

Ask her how she'd feel in your situation, but also remember that she can talk to whoever she likes, including other boys. It's just if the other boy has a crush on her that she should definitely be easing the contact off.

~2lazy2talk Aug 9, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

that was irrealist of you to think that she wouldn't talk to them. If you're in a group, you will talk to everyone.
Nevertheless, she was wrong to promise something that stupid.
I wouldn't like to see another woman hitting on what's mine, so I'd probably go "talk" to the person.

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