Remember: it's not your fight,
Speak with your parents and tell them about your feelings,
I'm sure the understand you and they will be happy that you tell that to them.
and perhaps you feel better also. Becouse they understand you.
I'm so sad that I can't do more, I realy want to help you.
but it is well.
I'm sorry for my BAD english....

it's your parents relationship, not yours. You can't do anything.
They're right in keeping you in the dark, kids shouldn't hear or see parents fighting.
Besides, you're 19, you should know this by now.

I know how you feel. My parents have been separated since I was ten and six years later, sometimes I still miss the way things were back then. To make things worse, my dad lives in another country that is six hours flight away, so I only get to see him once a year. Both my parents have a partner and I'm living with my mum and my stepdad. And honestly, I'm already used to it. And if things don't work out for your family, just know that even if your parents don't love each other anymore, they still love you Just let your parents work things out, I suppose. In the mean time, occupy yourself with other things like hanging out with friends, your boyfriend, whatever. Try not to think about it too much because it's beyond your control and it will do nothing but stress you out

You can just except it or remind them about you. The reason families exist is to be a family. To have kids and care about them. Remind them what they got married for. I have a friend who's parent's divorced and he didn't seem to care. Soon after he revealed that his parent's couldn't care less about him or his sister. His sister is lesbian and this guy is turning gay. Sometimes a divorce can throw you off tracks.

Firstly, *Aret's advice is awesome, and I couldn't put it any better than that.

As to how to cope, the only thing to do is to accept that both of your parents still love you and their relationship shouldn't affect how they treat you in any way. From there, you can ask them about it if you choose. Say that it's obvious that something's up, and you think it would be better if you discussed it as adults rather than them try to protect you some more. When you're aware of the situation, it might seem easier to handle and accept, rather than if you just all have to guess.

I'm sorry if my advice isn't the greatest. My parents divorced when I was ten or so and I don't remember really caring. My sister was upset, but I always figured it was there lives and I knew that they didn't stop loving each other because of me.

A 20 year marriage does not break up overnight, and does not break up because 1 of the kids went on vacation.

To be honest, one or both of your parents may have been hanging in there until the kids were old enough and now you and your brothers are getting to the age where you do not need parents. This would NOT make it your fault, or your brothers fault. It would mean that your parents grew apart over 20 years time, and kept it together so you kids had both parents.

So......everything has probably not been fine, and was not fine when you left for vacation. From what I am hearing, only your younger brother actually witnessed something, they are still keeping things quiet. While they are doing their best to not upset your life, you are already upset, so I think a calm discussion is in order.

Go talk to them, but make sure this is not a "you two can not break up, I can not handle it" discussion, but a "I have noticed you are not wearing wedding rings, and sleeping in the same room, what is up?" kind of discussion.

YOU can not keep your parents together (just as you can not drive them apart) all you can do is find out what they are planning, and make your own plans to deal with it.

They are married to each other, not to you. Why do you think you have to do anything?

Ohh man, this is big, and I can totally understand. First thing is, its defiantly not your fault, you can't blame yourself for this. I always thought my parents were really happy, then one day dad was moving out, I never really understood why, but it turns out that they just weren't happy together any more, it happens. Apparently they were fighting all the time...but i never saw any of this. It was really hard to get my head around it, but to be honest, if its not working for them , if they are unhappy, then they have a right to move on. I know this is not really something you want to here, and its hard at first, but it can work out ok. And who knows, maybe this will all blow over and will get better. I think they aren't telling you anything because its an issue between them, and they probably feel that you don't need to be involve and they will tell you about it when they are ready. From personal experience, I don't see my parents divorce as a bad thing, it hurt at the time, and my family is rather disjointed and extended and really confusing to explain, but i learnt form it and i gained people in my life that I am really grateful to have. I can see now that both mum and dad are in better places with people that seem better suited to them. I kind of sound like I am all for divorce, and I will say in my experience I was lucky, I got a say in things, and i think my sister and i were kind of kept in the loop after we found out with how things were happening, and the partners my parents ended up with are ok people... what I am trying to say is even though this is a horrible situation, its not really in your hands and it might be as bad a thing as you think.
But I am sorry that you have to go through this

try not to take on their problems and drown with them is what I would do, cause Someone's got to throw out the ropes to them if they ask you for help. If they ask for help, try your best to look for the positive aspects of this and keep bringing them up,cause it's the positive's that all ways out weigh the negative, if they don't ask you for help, stay out of it it's not your fight and just hope for the best for everyone involved.

I have a feeling that this is a rapid growth spurt period for your family so take your time and nourish your self with good feeling people, good feeling conversations, good feeling experiences as much as you can find or do.

Keep ya chin up,even if you can't see a clear path now, one will eventually come into being for you.
hope this helps.

Q1: What am I even meant to be feeling about this?
A1: There is no spreadsheet for what you have to feel for every life crisis. You don't have to feel anything.

Q2: What do I do? What can I do?
A2: Nothing. Nothing.

Q3: Am I partially to blame for this happening?
A3: Why would you be? Are they arguing about you? No? Then no.

Q4: What do I do if things don't work out?
A4: Same thing everyone does. Get angry, get sad, accept, and live life.


There's nothing to be done but be strong person and handle what comes, whatever comes, if and when it does.

Oh, sweetie. You may think it was fine before you left, but that's not how it works. This has probably been building up for a very long time, and to their credit they've done an excellent job of keeping you kids out of it. But they're only human. It was going to come out eventually.

There's no right or wrong way to feel, there's just how you feel. But please think also that you care about your parents. If you care about them, don't make this about you. They've already been doing that, and it isn't working. You want them to be happy don't you? Because it's quite possible that in order to be happy, they need to be away from each other. The alternative is not a pretty one, and would leave you all much unhappier than if they split up if they need to.

And of course you're not to blame. You're in a relationship, you should know that any problems you may have in that relationship are because of the two of you, and not any outside forces. People grow apart over time, sometimes, and maybe that's all that happened to your parents. It seems like such a small thing, but if you force yourself to stay with someone you are growing away from, it builds resentment and stress until it starts affecting your health. Small things can become huge things.

Your parents love you, they are trying to protect you. Keep an open mind for their sake.