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June 25, 2012
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Replies: 15

one thing about guys which bothers me

Forums > Community > Help with Life
:iconyusxelia:
~yusxelia Jun 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Maybe I'm over-reacting, but I do not uderstand why guys (boyfriends I mean) get mad if you say you want to change something in your look (loose some weight, or dye your hair or just put on some sexy make-up )they start to claim you shouldn't do that and sometimes they say just don't like some of these things, but despite that they keep fascinating and looking at other girls! I know it's natural too look at attractive people, but I do not understand why it's so bothers them if their girlfriends want to look pretty and most of time only for them.
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:iconmaryyana:
*MaryYana Jun 25, 2012   Traditional Artist
He wants you the way you were when he met you... You might not be comfortable with your weight or think that your face isn't sexy enough already - or you may think that it could look better - but he thinks you look perfect the way you are. He got attracted to your looks as they were already, why change them?
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:iconmerrak:
=merrak Jun 25, 2012  Hobbyist
I've never got upset at my wife if she wanted to change something, so I suppose I can't speak for all guys. (And maybe marriage is different here). I will say, though, don't overestimate how important looks are. Personality and especially self-confidence go a long way to determining attractiveness. Physical attraction is usually the ice-breaker.

In terms of looks, some guys are turned on by specific things. Let's say... short brown hair. To those particular guys, a woman with short brown hair would be considered very attractive, even if in general she is found "average". Now if she changes her hair, maybe to the average guy she would be found more attractive - but to those specific guys, she actually would be less. If the girlfriend wants to change her looks for the boyfriend then it would be worth knowing what he is into.
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:iconyusxelia:
~yusxelia Jun 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I know exactly which taste he has, I started to think he's just jealous xD I mean it's normal for guys to look at others girls, but it's no gooood if other guys look at their gf xD
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:iconthe-uglytruth:
*The-UglyTruth Jun 25, 2012
Click the reply button under an avatar if you want to reply to a specific person. And if he doesn't like guys looking at you, that's his insecurities. Address your own first, but make sure to call him on it.
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:iconthe-uglytruth:
*The-UglyTruth Jun 25, 2012
Ignoring the gross generalizations abound... maybe your boyfriend is trying to say he likes you the way you are, and that he feels like you don't need to change anything. Changing some aspect isn't going to upset him, but as soon as you say something like 'My hair is ugly, I need to change it' the knee-jerk reaction can be 'No you dont, you're fine as you are'. If you feel like changing something then do it, do it for you, and say you're doing it for you.
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:iconyusxelia:
Mood: Anger ~yusxelia Jun 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I always say such thing like I want to do it becouse of me being more self-confident and happy, and then he starts to claim I do it only becouse I'm seaking for other guys attention!
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:iconthe-uglytruth:
*The-UglyTruth Jun 25, 2012
Just do what you want, and if he has a problem with it then that's tough for him. If he doesn't support your need to feel self-confident then there are some obvious trust and security issues on his part.
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:iconhobbnob1:
~hobbnob1 Jun 25, 2012  Student General Artist
I don't fully understand the question (I'm a guy :P). Looking at another girl doesn't mean that they don't think you're attractive, and certainly doesn't mean they should you should try and make yourself more attractive. Not all guys feel the need to ogle other women, but the ones that are loyal would never ask you out anyway, we're quiet like that :)

Funny fact: makeup was originally devised to make people more attractive as you know. However, male psychology says that anyone wearing makeup will be less attractive as a potential girlfriend, because a girl's want to be more attractive is linked to insecurity, which is linked (in a guy's mind) to over-reliance and paranoia :)

TL;DR: Chill and be happy :hug:
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:iconthe-uglytruth:
*The-UglyTruth Jun 25, 2012
Not all guys feel the need to ogle other women, the ones that are loyal would never ask you out anyway, we're quiet like that

Did you just say that anyone who has the balls to ask a girl out is bound to be disloyal? Really? Or that looking at other girls is disloyal?

How old are you?
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:iconhobbnob1:
~hobbnob1 Jun 25, 2012  Student General Artist
I'm 18, and as a general rule of thumb yes, people with enough confidence to ask a girl out will likely have the confidence to ogle other women without repurcussions.
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