Mom makes it hard to come out

~MisterVo Jun 2, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

My mom irritates me so much when it comes to these things >_<. A few weeks ago she was like, "If there's anything you need to tell me then do it. Even if I get mad, we're still family and family needs to stick together." And then yesterday she saw me and my friends chatting on Facebook about "gay" things apparently and she told me, "You're being wild on Facebook huh? Talking about those kinds of things." I just told her we were messing around and what not but then she says, "Okay, don't do something that makes me sad/upset." Before that point I was going to try again and tell her that I was gay but she ruins it. . . again. . .Idk what to do. It's like she can only think about how she would feel and how people would look at her if they figured out I was gay. It's really annoying. I get that she came from overseas and she's really old-fashioned but everything I like she seems to hate or at least dislike. It really bothers me but I kind of just ignore it most of the time. I swear if she saw me holding hands with another guy she'd go ape **** on me. Any advice? Thanks for taking the time.

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~rain-go-rawr Jun 3, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Glad I could make your day

I try my hardest to go through life and make at least one person smile everyday

~ShadowSpiritWhispers Jun 3, 2012

That's a good way to live

~Avenvia Jun 3, 2012 Student Writer

Are you living with her or financially dependent on her? In general, I wouldn't say it's a good idea to come out to someone that has that much control over your life if you think they'll react badly. Having your parents scream and try to change you isn't fun, of course, but having them do those things and then start making your life miserable since they pay for everything is worse.

If you are by yourself, though, you just have to learn to not care too much if she disapproves. It's hard to do, but if you come out then you can't really take it back, so you'd just have to weather her disapproval until sher accepts that it's who you are, it's not that much of a problem in this modern world and there's nothing she can do to change it.

Or, she might take it a lot better than you expect and it'll turn out to not be a problem at all. Hopefully that's the case.

~MisterVo Jun 3, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Both, I'm only 16 xP. Yea I've been trying to. Hopefully when the chance comes again I'll have the nerves to try telling her. Thanks for the advice :]

~Avenvia Jun 3, 2012 Student Writer

I'm not encouraging you to assume the worst of your mother, but it's always good to prepare for the worst just in case. If you think it's at all possible that she could throw you out on the street or generally screw you over, best not to tell her while she still has the chance to do those things.

Personally, I don't think it's any of my parents' business who I'm seeing, so I don't feel inclined to tell them regardless, but I gather a lot of people are different

~MisterVo Jun 3, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I'm not sure she would go to that extent. Im a good kid hah. Hopefully she'll take it well

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