There's this guy I like....

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~KozakuraAkiyama Apr 23, 2012 Student Digital Artist

But he freaks out whenever he sees me. He's really nice and hot but he flat out runs away when i come near

I'm a really attractive woman, so why is he acting this way? do you think he's afraid to be seen with me? ;n; I can't imagine why! and he's being super rude!

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~KingStephenArthur Apr 24, 2012 Student Photographer

never assume someone is being rude. He may have anxiety. just talk to him so he knows you don't bite. sneak up behind him or something and tap his shoulder and just say things, he may want to actually talk to you but is too nervous.

~RavynneNevyrmore Apr 24, 2012 Student Digital Artist

First of all don't listen to these people telling you you're some kind of egomaniac just because you said you're an attractive woman in a perfectly relevant context. They're trying to bring you down because society doesn't like for people who are attractive to feel good about themselves.

Self-esteem is healthy as long as you don't believe yourself to be above others, which I see no reason to believe in your OP. Please go on thinking that you're fabulous and that everyone else is fabulous too, and pay no regard to those who would have you feel bad about yourself in order to make themselves feel better.

The guy could be shy and nervous around you. If you haven't taken the first step to break the ice by saying hello and asking how his day is or something like that, do so.

If he won't even let you approach without running away, hell, maybe he is intimidated. Try dressing down for a while...you know, messy hair, less flattering clothes, no make up. Yeah it's stupid that you should have to make yourself look different before someone will talk to you, but if talking to this guy really means so much to you, maybe appearing "more approachable" will do the trick to getting this skittish rabbit to hold still. Once he warms up to you and learns you're not so scary, it shouldn't be necessary anymore.

Or, you know, maybe he just doesn't like you. xD Some people are really prejudiced and will judge someone unfairly based on looks alone, even if he doesn't know you... Or maybe he heard things about you and is judging you based on that instead of getting to know you. Whatever the case, if he really has some preconceived judgment about you then there isn't much you can do about it except to shrug it off, not concern yourself with him, and go about your life. It's more his loss for not getting to know you due to prejudice than it is your loss for not getting to know someone who would make judgments about a person he doesn't know.

=Natsumimew Apr 28, 2012

I second this motion ^

~Coffe-Kanon Apr 24, 2012

You've got it all wrong.

It's not about "society doesn't like for people who are attractive to feel good about themselves".

It's more about the fact that it's impossible to be "plain attractive" at all. Attraction happens between two subjects. I.e here has to be a target that is attracted to someone in order to determine if someone is attractive or not, and most importantly: attractive TO WHOM!

Saying "im an attractive woman/man" can only be interprated as "I am attractive to ANYONE" (which is impossible by default due to the vast spectrum of tastes and preferences).

The description "attractive" is nothing but a vague and utterly pointless estimation of averages. It's like saying that apples taste good (period) rather than saying: "I think that apples taste good". You might be correct to say that apples taste good since many people will agree with you, but you can bet your ass that an important amount of people will disagree.

Also, the fact that the guy in question FLEE whenever the OP comes near him should tell you, if anything, that attractiveness is far from universal.

~RavynneNevyrmore Apr 24, 2012 Student Digital Artist

Actually I believe that the attraction you're talking about is "being attracted to X," which is different from "finding X attractive."

I think Angelina Jolie is attractive but I am not attracted to her. Conversely, I am attracted to awkward looking men with large noses but I do not think they are objectively attractive. It's a matter of objectivity vs. subjectivity.

For what it's worth, based on my experiences, I have a personal theory that people who find themselves naturally attracted to most individuals that are considered conventionally attractive have a more difficult time discerning this line. If you find yourself attracted to Angelina Jolie and not attracted to awkward looking men with large noses, to use my previous example, then you would be less likely to notice the difference because there's more overlap between the two categories for you.

More specifically, and perhaps incidentally, I have found in my experiences that heterosexual men have a more difficult time discerning the line—and even argue that it doesn't exist—than heterosexual women, who understand it almost intuitively.

We can assume the OP meant, "I am considered conventionally attractive." In the objective sense. She didn't say, "He is attracted to me," which would be presumptuous. She said, "I am attractive," which is a valid self-made assessment based on a scale established by society.

And no, the fact that the guy flees from the OP does NOT necessarily mean that he is not attracted to her, nor does it mean that she is not attractive, which are again two different concepts.

~Coffe-Kanon Apr 25, 2012

"Scale established by society"? It's not like any society has weekly news bulletins covering the "attractiveness scale".

As I said before: this idea of "conventionally attractive" is completely pointless to begin with, since what you yourself believe to be conventionally attractive all just bottles down to your own subjective perception of averages. I.e you BELIEVE that a certain physical appearance to be considered attractive int he eyes of a certain amount of people, but without actually being able to prove it.

And you know what? ALL people make these subjective assessments. And what do you think happen when billions of people all make their own subjective assessments? Well, let's just say that there's bound to be a truckload of differences, ESPECIALLY when most of them are making them "intuitively".

Another factor that makes the idea of being "conventionally attractive" pointless is the fact that it doesn't really matter to the OP how "conventionally attractive" she is. If the object of her affection doesn't find her attractive (which could very well be the case, we can't really know until we hear from the guy she's drooling after) being "conventionally attractive" won't help her get the guy at all.

That's also a problem with a lot of women that I've noticed. They tend to hide behind the idea that they consider themselves "conventionally attractive" and that it somehow gives them a free pass not to have to approach a guy themselves. The line of thinking tend to look like this:

"I look good, I'm conventionally attractive, hence I shouldn't have to humiliate myself by approaching a guy I like and tell him what I feel. He should simply notice me on his own and only put himself on the line so I don't have to. And if he doesn't then im just going to ignore him because im too much of a chickenshit to come clean about what I feel for another human being!"

Considering oneself to be conventionally attractive and hoping that it's supposed to spare you the akward and scary situation of having to confess that you got the hots for someone is quite detrimental to ones chances of finding out whether a relationship could happen or not.

The best advice I'd give in this situation is to drop delusions of grandeur and percieved ideas of being conventionally attractive and adopt some honesty and humility. I.e "man up" and come clean...

~RavynneNevyrmore Apr 25, 2012 Student Digital Artist

That's way too many paragraphs to argue your case that you're completely in the right for presuming to judge some girl based on one sentence she said online. Just no.

~Coffe-Kanon Apr 25, 2012

Wait, what?

I believe you're confusing me with someone else. While I might maintain that I have every right to judge people like everybody else (al humans are judgemental by default, it is impossible not to be) I haven't really engaged in much judgement here...

~mollyclaud Apr 24, 2012

Im honestly really not trying to be rude so if I sound like that sorry in advance but..
For one if you've never talked to him before then you cant really like him, just think he's attractive which wouldn't be able to start a working healthy relationship.
Another point is the fact you said you are a really attractive woman, sounds like an ego no offense. Most(hence most) decent guy would be scared shitless of the thought of being with a girl with a ego. Not all guy's go for looks btw, some look for personality and such.

~Golden-Penguin Apr 23, 2012

were you wearing the same colour each time he ran? he could be Autistic and have an intense dislike of the colour you were wearing, like in the movie 'My Name is Khan'

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