Why don't you ask her what SHE wants, the full synopsis, for a change? You have way too high expectations for her, you can't order her around. You can buy her gifts without her asking, sure, but that doesn't sound like what she wants at all. She wants to be treated in a certain way and obviously you aren't granting her that. Sounds like you two need to talk things out seriously and straight to the point.
Well, spellcheck or not, troll or not. I take posts seriously by default.
Anyway. I learned something recently. If she's not right for you, go on. Don't chase, don't keep at it, you'll only get it worse. Of course there's always exceptions, but if for any reason whatsoever, a girl irks you in any way, don't go with her into a long-term relationship...because after awhile, I'm betting you'll want to tear her face up.
That's pretty much it. You should listen to your mother, she's in the right as well (in my opinion anyway).
Ah, saying what we say, feeling that we complement each other's dialogue, crap like that. I know, I know.
Well, on one side, you can consider yourself flattered, because a lot of people usually don't bitch at others about things that bother them without feeling that there's a bond of trust. But sometimes, people get carried away and aggravate small problems, it's like gunpowder, one spark and it usually all goes up in flames.
On the other hand, it's understandable if you realise that what the other people is bitching about is really not that bad at all and it's really just some sort of gunpowder effect. In that case, perhaps a bit of interrupting and reminding that person that what she's bitching about is really meaningless might work.
You could also just either find yourself an excuse (or white lie) or simply tell that person directly that you don't feel up to listening to it. But I think working with someone to make them realise that they complain about things that aren't worth complaining is better.
Do use tact and diplomacy though. Being blunt or insinuating insult isn't going to lead anywhere, except a fight or perhaps even a break-up if it gets out of control. Everything should be fine if you don't let the other person think that you think bad of them...or something like that. It's usually easy to figure out lol.