My ex is a crazy stalker, What should I do?
Okay, so I dated this guy about a year ago. We grew up together and I moved away 5 years ago, came back for a visit and we dated three months.
Turned out he wanted me to quit art, to marry me asap, and wanted me to become his housewife and get knocked up shortly after. He confessed that that was the kind of relationship he wanted, and I smacked him in the face and got the hell out.
Now, I'm with a great boyfriend who treats me right, and my ex is jealous. He is spreading terrible rumors about me around my hometown, where I have a long-distance contract with a children's book publisher and I work as an artist. The rumors he is spreading could easily damage my reputation for said company and get me fired.
He gets furious when people bring me up, and says I'm all his and that I belong to him. It's just weird.
In addition to messing up my career, he has been following me an sending people to watch me, it's rather frightening.
In a matter of months, I am moving to Texas with my boyfriend and will be far away from this ex. My boyfriend thinks I should just leave it be until I can get out and have it over with, but I'm wondering if there is some action I can take against this ex to get him off my back and keep him from ruining my job.
Has anyone been through something like this, or just have some general advice? I'd love to just get him out of my life.
tl;dr: My crazy jealous ex is screwing up the opportunity of a lifetime for me and stalking me. Do I take action to make it stop or wait and make a run for it to dodge a mess?
Turned out he wanted me to quit art, to marry me asap, and wanted me to become his housewife and get knocked up shortly after. He confessed that that was the kind of relationship he wanted, and I smacked him in the face and got the hell out.
Now, I'm with a great boyfriend who treats me right, and my ex is jealous. He is spreading terrible rumors about me around my hometown, where I have a long-distance contract with a children's book publisher and I work as an artist. The rumors he is spreading could easily damage my reputation for said company and get me fired.
He gets furious when people bring me up, and says I'm all his and that I belong to him. It's just weird.
In addition to messing up my career, he has been following me an sending people to watch me, it's rather frightening.
In a matter of months, I am moving to Texas with my boyfriend and will be far away from this ex. My boyfriend thinks I should just leave it be until I can get out and have it over with, but I'm wondering if there is some action I can take against this ex to get him off my back and keep him from ruining my job.
Has anyone been through something like this, or just have some general advice? I'd love to just get him out of my life.
tl;dr: My crazy jealous ex is screwing up the opportunity of a lifetime for me and stalking me. Do I take action to make it stop or wait and make a run for it to dodge a mess?
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1) Clearly communicate to him via email or phone that he has zero chances of seeing you ever again, that you're going to the police for his stalking behavior, and that if he continues to slander you, you'll sue him.
2) Get a restraining order
3) buy some mace
4) Tell your employer, and show your employer said restraining order as proof.
5) Consider moving to Texas sooner than later.
2) Get a restraining order
3) buy some mace
4) Tell your employer, and show your employer said restraining order as proof.
5) Consider moving to Texas sooner than later.
...have sex with her?
I'd consider perhaps getting a restraining order, or at least looking into it. For the job thing, have you mentioned to them that this has been happening? I think the more people know about the situation, the less likely the rumours can hurt your career.
In the meantime, block his number/e-mail/any other form of contact, and try to avoid travelling around alone until this passes over. Good luck
In the meantime, block his number/e-mail/any other form of contact, and try to avoid travelling around alone until this passes over. Good luck
Patronize your friendly neighborhood hitman. Or, if you're not crazy, get some sort of self defense weapon, like a tazer or mace. Taking legal action will be costly and you likely won't have any positive results by the time you move, since things work rather slowly. Feeling safe is important. If you have something with you that will help you live your life without fearing this jackoff, you'll be much better off.
Restraining order and wait for the move.
Focus on your life and your job.
If it ever comes to it and you have contractual issues related to him, that's when you get a lawyer.
For the most part there isn't much he can do to get you "fired" without putting himself at legal risk.
Just jibber jabbering isn't going to do anything.
Any reactions you show just empower him, once you go silent he'll have to find something else to do.
Focus on your life and your job.
If it ever comes to it and you have contractual issues related to him, that's when you get a lawyer.
For the most part there isn't much he can do to get you "fired" without putting himself at legal risk.
Just jibber jabbering isn't going to do anything.
Any reactions you show just empower him, once you go silent he'll have to find something else to do.
I text him afterward and told him it was me. And now me and my girl are away from that whack-job
Frame him, like what I do to my girlfriend ex. He's been disturbing us by sending mail and threat to beat me up, so I go to a friend of mine who is a super nerdy genius at hacking and guess what we hacked his myspace and friendster password and we own the poor sucka account. I continue by using his account to send some disturbing stuff to all of his contacts there and you know the rest.
Inform the authorities about the sort of harassment.
He sound slike a Borderline Personality bloak...
I would just confront him and tell him to go away. If he refuses, threaten him by saying you will have the authorities involved on the lines of harrassment.
I would just confront him and tell him to go away. If he refuses, threaten him by saying you will have the authorities involved on the lines of harrassment.
Well he's not an ex but he was a pursuer and he was obsessed with me, took pics of me dressing and undressing, told me the bible says my bisexuality will send me to hell and all that, so I broke all ties with him. He thought his way was the saints way when he himself was no saint. I am moving this summer as well and he is not happy at all about it, and he is trying to get me to contact him so i can move into some strange house..yeah no lol. I found a man lately and he's really sweet and loving but this pursuer is really pissed and he wants me to be with him but I just cant be happy with the pursuer, I found happiness with a very amazing man!
Two words; restraining order
Shoot him...
No, I would tell my employer what happens and that you're stalked and that this is where the rumors come from. That could make the risk of being fired a lot smaller if they believe you. If not, nothing's been made worse.
else I think moving could help, but try to go to the police.
No, I would tell my employer what happens and that you're stalked and that this is where the rumors come from. That could make the risk of being fired a lot smaller if they believe you. If not, nothing's been made worse.
else I think moving could help, but try to go to the police.
Resorting to the police would be the best solution IMO, and that's already mentioned above. You could also try talking to him in public to warn him what you'll do if he continues on this line.
eat him
Ex-bfs taste terrible.
Yes, its true
But I always say to my ex: 'Don't mind the taste, just swallow and get it over with, dear.'
Right, right, I keep telling mine that, but they don't listen , and its hot when they swallow, you know
They will never understand it...
ah women, Can't live with, but the only other choice is men,so u know
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WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING. You'll need this as evidence, in case it gets so bad that you need to report him. It will also help you keep the events clear in your mind, so that you can explain the situation quickly to people (whereas if you're stuttering and trying to remember things, people might think you're exaggerating).
Tell your ex a FIRM "No." And do NOT give any reasons or excuses. Do not say "I'm in a relationship!" because then he'll think, "I just have to win her over from him." Do not say "I'm not ready" because then he'll think "I just have to wait". Saying "Not my type" will probably make him think "I'll change for her!" Just say "no" and leave it at that.
Oh, and NEVER initiate contact with him. You know, don't go up to him and start telling him what you think, or anything. If you ever come to him first, he might think this is a sign that you're interested in him.
There are a lot of other things to do as well. Check out these websites for more info:
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There are probably other, better, sources for advice. But these should be at least somewhat helpful.
Tell your ex a FIRM "No." And do NOT give any reasons or excuses. Do not say "I'm in a relationship!" because then he'll think, "I just have to win her over from him." Do not say "I'm not ready" because then he'll think "I just have to wait". Saying "Not my type" will probably make him think "I'll change for her!" Just say "no" and leave it at that.
Oh, and NEVER initiate contact with him. You know, don't go up to him and start telling him what you think, or anything. If you ever come to him first, he might think this is a sign that you're interested in him.
There are a lot of other things to do as well. Check out these websites for more info:
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
There are probably other, better, sources for advice. But these should be at least somewhat helpful.
What a hella freaky guy 
Holy hell >_< Do what the people above said and get some legal action taken against the freak
Talk to an attorney, if this ex is spreading rumors that could hurt your reputation enough for an employer to drop you, you may have ground for a slander civil suit.
I'm confused as to if you're both living in the same town, if so then also follow it up with a restraining order.
It's one thing being a jerk, it's another to threaten your livelyhood.
I'm confused as to if you're both living in the same town, if so then also follow it up with a restraining order.
It's one thing being a jerk, it's another to threaten your livelyhood.