Feeling Isolated in my University


yanxue's avatar
I finished my undergraduate programme and graduated in 2007. Then I left my undergraduated to be a high school teacher last year. Now, I have come back to campus. I am carrying out my postgraduate programme in a new university in Shanghai, China. I have been here for almost one month. However, I am not happy because I feel isolated in my new university life. I don't know why.
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Katria-Kage's avatar
Aah, I have the same problem. :XD: I'm way too unconfident to make friends. I don't mind though, I have three real life friends and then a lot of online friends. :meow: My advice is to try and be more confident. Walk up to people, talk to them. If you see someone doing something interesting comment on it to them. I should really take my own advice. ^^;

Good luck, dear.
yanxue's avatar
So, let's try together:handshake:
Andr0o's avatar
"And the monkeys feel alone. All six billion of them."
yanxue's avatar
Sounds funny^^
snappapple's avatar
I would suggest trying to go out and meet people- how you feel is personal. While you may feel that people don't connect with you, the truth may be, because of how you see yourself, that you don't connect with them.

Don't focus so much on "fitting in" or not, just get an education, make yourself known, meet people, talk, play, chat... Chances are you're self-perception is not how others see you- maybe they don't go out of their way to approach you, because you already expect they won't.

What I mean is, if you're already shut-down expecting people not to like you, you're unapproachable. People aren't going to come knocking down your down if you come off as a loner to begin with.

Relax, have fun, and forget you're "different" because probably no one else thinks so.
yanxue's avatar
I absolutely agree with you and hope I could remember you word all the time. I appreciate your kindness very much:hug:
Wombatwarlord777's avatar
Have you tried joining any clubs or something like that? You'd probably find people who share a lot of the same interests you do.
yanxue's avatar
I have joined a yoga club, and I hope I would find people share a lot with me. Thank you so much!
Wombatwarlord777's avatar
inmc's avatar
just stop hiding yourself
yanxue's avatar
It is a good idea, but it seems so difficult!
inmc's avatar
In fact it is quite simple, you only have to find the courage to do it.
yanxue's avatar
Maybe I should have a try. Thank you very much:hug:
Lost-In-Reality248's avatar
even though there is a big gap in our ages, i must say that i feel like that too. i too have changed schools, more times than i'd like, and i'm haunted by the same worries as you. it's hard at the beginning, it always is, but the advice on joining groups is a good one. also, try to talk with people outside classes, if you don't want to compete during lessons. i find it hard to, but since you are a so-called "grown-up", you shouldn't.

i just hope i helped a bit...
yanxue's avatar
Thanks a lot, for all those kind word:nod: When I was a high school teacher in the first half of this year, I did feel I was an adult, but I came back to campus, I found I immediately become emotional and sensitive. It's strange! Thank you again!
Lost-In-Reality248's avatar
It's allright, i mean i feel kinda the same way too, and i guess that the best advice and understanding comes from the people who share the experiance.
I'm glad i could help ^^
homedoggieo's avatar
What do you mean by feeling isolated?

Isolated as in, not making friends?
yanxue's avatar
Thank you for your warm attention! I think I have made some friends here, and they are my roomates. But they are always so busy in their own business, which is different from the friends in my former university. I don't know why I cannot be active in class. All my classmates are trying their best to answer in public, so there is a contest atmosphere in class. But I don't want to contest with others. I just keep quiet in my corner. Another reason is I am from the north of China and too much taller than any other girls and most of the boys. All in all, when my classmates have got along well with new life in this university, I feel I am far away from them all.
homedoggieo's avatar
That's a common feeling in school, feeling disconnected from other people, but one thing I've found that really brings people together is music :)

Are there any clubs you could join :?
yanxue's avatar
I joined a yoga club, but in this club I don't have chances to communicate with others, because the teacher lead us to do yoga all the time.
I do hope it is a common feeling. I am not happy and always think maybe I have done something wrong or there are some severe shortcomings in my characteristics, or I am too different from others, etc. It is an annoying feeling.
homedoggieo's avatar
It sounds like we're quite similar, as I feel that way a lot, and let me assure you, there's nothing wrong with us :) We're a little different, but we're a lot more interesting than most people :#1:

Anybody that can't see that must be pretty shallow, and isn't worth our time anyway ;)
yanxue's avatar
I like your " We're a little different, but we're a lot more interesting than most people " so much :handshake: And let's become more interesting!
homedoggieo's avatar
I plan on it :#1:

You already know English pretty well, that opens up a billion more people out there in the world that you can connect with :)
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