How can you tell if your friends actually like you?
I see my friends lots.
The thing is, I see them hanging out with each other, but they never invite me. Anywhere. They never call me. They never try to talk to me. They never reply to anything I write (on Facebook, but you know, the internet is a bit irrelevant).
They know I'm insanely lonely. There's 3 of them, and 2 I've known since gradeschool. The times we do hang out, I make them laugh and we have silly in depth discussion about really irrelevant things but I also feel a bit ignored. I'm starting to think they may not like me or don't consider me a friend at all. It's a bit depressing, because they're the only people I talk too and I'm really shy and afraid of what people think, so I feel really uncomfortable about calling them or taking any initiative. I go to a small Catholic high school, so everyone already knows each other really well, so it's not like I can find any other friends.
Last week, two of them went to the zoo. I joked around with them that I was jealous and that I hated them so much (I'm pretty confident they knew I wasn't being serious), but honestly I was really hurt. We're all huge nature dorks. We love camping and animals like crazy, and they know I would probably pay for them to go to the zoo with me, yet they didn't even hint that they were going.
And today was school registration. I went by myself and when I was riding the bus home I saw all three of my friends and a few of their friends walking to the school together. Is it really that hard to ask if I want to come too? At this point I'm pretty sure they just don't want me around.
Not to mention, two of my friends live so close by! I could walk to both their houses in five minutes. Despite this, I haven't spoken to one of them all summer. I can see one guy's backyard from the street I live on. What the fuck.
Is it me? Am I being too much of a pussy? Should I be knocking on their doors and harassing them, calling them, or am I just such a reject that my own friends don't like me at all? They know I'm introverted, lacking any sort of self confidence and shy, shouldn't they know by now that I really don't feel comfortable calling them? That I feel like I might be bothering them by doing so?
I don't know, it just makes me want to cry a little bit.
The thing is, I see them hanging out with each other, but they never invite me. Anywhere. They never call me. They never try to talk to me. They never reply to anything I write (on Facebook, but you know, the internet is a bit irrelevant).
They know I'm insanely lonely. There's 3 of them, and 2 I've known since gradeschool. The times we do hang out, I make them laugh and we have silly in depth discussion about really irrelevant things but I also feel a bit ignored. I'm starting to think they may not like me or don't consider me a friend at all. It's a bit depressing, because they're the only people I talk too and I'm really shy and afraid of what people think, so I feel really uncomfortable about calling them or taking any initiative. I go to a small Catholic high school, so everyone already knows each other really well, so it's not like I can find any other friends.
Last week, two of them went to the zoo. I joked around with them that I was jealous and that I hated them so much (I'm pretty confident they knew I wasn't being serious), but honestly I was really hurt. We're all huge nature dorks. We love camping and animals like crazy, and they know I would probably pay for them to go to the zoo with me, yet they didn't even hint that they were going.
And today was school registration. I went by myself and when I was riding the bus home I saw all three of my friends and a few of their friends walking to the school together. Is it really that hard to ask if I want to come too? At this point I'm pretty sure they just don't want me around.
Not to mention, two of my friends live so close by! I could walk to both their houses in five minutes. Despite this, I haven't spoken to one of them all summer. I can see one guy's backyard from the street I live on. What the fuck.
Is it me? Am I being too much of a pussy? Should I be knocking on their doors and harassing them, calling them, or am I just such a reject that my own friends don't like me at all? They know I'm introverted, lacking any sort of self confidence and shy, shouldn't they know by now that I really don't feel comfortable calling them? That I feel like I might be bothering them by doing so?
I don't know, it just makes me want to cry a little bit.
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Well I try to make some input....
Try not to take this the wrong way, I am not trying to be mean and I say this with the utmost sympathy.
They probably don't like you, as a matter of fact they probably say mean things behind your back. Why? Because to them you are the annoying little reject that cant get any friends and only latch on to them because of a mistaken first impression they all made on you. The only affection you will get from them is pity and not one of them want to be the jackass to tell you off.
again I am telling you this with sympathy but I am also maybe a bit cynical of your freinds because well the same thing happened to me about freshman year. My "freinds" never invited me to anything, ever. I only ever saw them when I went to there house or on the bus. They barley noticed me and I always seemed to be at the butt of the joke. The problem was that non of them want to tell me off and just say that they hated my guts.
One day I overheard Cory talking about how annoying I was and how they all wanted me to just leave them alone. So I did, and you know what? Things have gotten better. We act like we never knew each other, and I found some friends that actually seem to enjoy my company.
So bottom line, I think your current "friends" really don't like you but I guarantee you there are people out there that are willing to be real friends with you because well they actually like you. And once you find them your life will be so much better.
But I could be wrong here and all you have to do is talk to your friends.......
Try not to take this the wrong way, I am not trying to be mean and I say this with the utmost sympathy.
They probably don't like you, as a matter of fact they probably say mean things behind your back. Why? Because to them you are the annoying little reject that cant get any friends and only latch on to them because of a mistaken first impression they all made on you. The only affection you will get from them is pity and not one of them want to be the jackass to tell you off.
again I am telling you this with sympathy but I am also maybe a bit cynical of your freinds because well the same thing happened to me about freshman year. My "freinds" never invited me to anything, ever. I only ever saw them when I went to there house or on the bus. They barley noticed me and I always seemed to be at the butt of the joke. The problem was that non of them want to tell me off and just say that they hated my guts.
One day I overheard Cory talking about how annoying I was and how they all wanted me to just leave them alone. So I did, and you know what? Things have gotten better. We act like we never knew each other, and I found some friends that actually seem to enjoy my company.
So bottom line, I think your current "friends" really don't like you but I guarantee you there are people out there that are willing to be real friends with you because well they actually like you. And once you find them your life will be so much better.
But I could be wrong here and all you have to do is talk to your friends.......
No, they don't like you.
Yes, you can make new friends. Join a team/club/group/any extra-curricular activity.
Yes, you can make new friends. Join a team/club/group/any extra-curricular activity.
Like jennyleigh said, extroverts don't normally understand introverts. I was in the same situation as you a few years ago, and I tried my best to make friends outside of the group I already had. I did this only because we had become more and more distant, and I was worried that we wouldn't even consider each other friends any more in the near future. As it turns out, the four friends I had known since elementary school weren't even the kind of people I really enjoyed hanging out with. The friends I had made 'just in case' turned out to be some of the best friends I have today. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the people you think are your best friends may not even be suited to the position. I would even say that my new friends have less in common with me than my older ones, and yet I enjoy their company more, and they include me in things all the time.
Now, I'm not saying that you should stop being friends with these people, oh no. I mean, I still consider my old group of friends my friends, just not exactly my best friends.
I hope everything goes well for you!
Now, I'm not saying that you should stop being friends with these people, oh no. I mean, I still consider my old group of friends my friends, just not exactly my best friends.
I hope everything goes well for you!
I've been going through the exact same thing for my entire life. Its really hard to deal with, but you should realize that this is only high school and it will get better after its done. I've only just recently realized how disconnected I am with the people i considered friends and that im more of an eyesore and a bother to them than anything. They make plans to hang out with each other in front of me and just forget i was even sitting there sometimes. However, when high school is out, you'll probably never see any of these people again, which could definitely be for the better for you. So don't worry 
theres always new people where you would never expect them to find you. If you feel you have no one to turn to, theres always God 
(im just assuming ur catholic, seeing that ur going to a catholic school)
theres always new people where you would never expect them to find you. If you feel you have no one to turn to, theres always God (im just assuming ur catholic, seeing that ur going to a catholic school)
OMFG sometimes when I make really cool friends I'm exactly like you! Since I move houses and lose my friends a lot I get all paranoid about how they feel about me/do they like me or not? It does decrease my ability to take initiative, like once in middleschool this cool kid was my best friend, but then he made a new friend and together they "ditched" me. IDK how he went from best friend to FUCKING ASSHOLE.
Seriously though tell me what they say. I wish to know if my previous friends were like yours, and if they were I wonder what went on.
Seriously though tell me what they say. I wish to know if my previous friends were like yours, and if they were I wonder what went on.
Ha ha, will do?
Thanks 
So far, I've messaged one of them and they haven't said anything back. I:
._.
I'm a pretty shy person too and I realllly don't like confrontation. But the thing is..you have to mention it to them. If it turns out that you guys have grown apart, at least you'll know instead of getting your feelings hurt over them ditching you like jerks. You sound like a cool person, so don't get too bogged down by what other people think. 
Sometimes, it's that third friend whom you don't know so well. They might not be comfortable with you, but they might also be more outgoing, so they can easily convince your friends to "ditch" you. Sometimes, not always.
You don't need to harass them to invite you. But why don't you plan some outings yourself and invite them? Introversion aside, surely, you also need to put in the work of finding ways to hang out.
You don't need to harass them to invite you. But why don't you plan some outings yourself and invite them? Introversion aside, surely, you also need to put in the work of finding ways to hang out.
Oh I don't think that's the case. The 3rd friend has actually become closer to them then I am (kind of complicated, my friends became really good friends with the 3rd friend's friends so the 3rd friend naturally ended up getting close to them as well, I on the other hand knew no one else than those two so was left out of any get togethers/friend meeting).
I think I'll ask them tomorrow, bake cupcakes for them or something. C:
I think I'll ask them tomorrow, bake cupcakes for them or something. C:
Extroverts usually don't understand introverts and their methods of socializing. I think you need to call them and invite them to do things with you. If you get no bites or keep getting the cold shoulder you need to speak to them about it. Seems like they are letting you fade into the background... Which isn't all their fault.
Alright. I know everyone's supposed to work a bit for friendship, and I guess I've just been a bit paranoid about how they feel about me to the extent where I don't feel comfortable enough to take any initiative.
Tell them how you feel.
They might not even be aware, and they won't do anything to solve your problem if they don't know you have one.
Also, if you pay attention if a particular behavior of yours is annoying them or something, because that might be a contributing factor.
And ask to hang out with them sometimes too! Don't expect them to invite you to a lot of stuff if you never invite them to anything. It goes both ways. [;
They might not even be aware, and they won't do anything to solve your problem if they don't know you have one.
Also, if you pay attention if a particular behavior of yours is annoying them or something, because that might be a contributing factor.
And ask to hang out with them sometimes too! Don't expect them to invite you to a lot of stuff if you never invite them to anything. It goes both ways. [;
:/ I'm a bit hesistant to talk to them, one is brutally honest and enjoys cruel jokes, the other one might as well be a sociopath and the third always puts on really fake sympathy. I can see through her whenever I've opened up to her and she's tried to comfort me, it's more out of pity than anything.
But I'll try.
But I'll try.
From your response here, it almost sounds like you shouldn't WANT to be friends with these people.
BUT, I agree with chex-mix's response - be honest with them. Let them know. If their reaction isn't kind, or shows that they obviously aren't your friends, then move on. Yes, it will be hard, but even though you say you're shy, going to a small Catholic school provides you with the opportunity to approach other people. you'll probably already know them, right?
So, if these friends do give you a bad reaction to your honesty, you may feel really crappy initially - but in time you'll see that you're much happier not having to deal with them always hanging out without you.
But hey, maybe they really do like you and had no clue they were leaving you out. People can be lost in their own little worlds sometimes! Hope that helps,
BUT, I agree with chex-mix's response - be honest with them. Let them know. If their reaction isn't kind, or shows that they obviously aren't your friends, then move on. Yes, it will be hard, but even though you say you're shy, going to a small Catholic school provides you with the opportunity to approach other people. you'll probably already know them, right?
So, if these friends do give you a bad reaction to your honesty, you may feel really crappy initially - but in time you'll see that you're much happier not having to deal with them always hanging out without you.
But hey, maybe they really do like you and had no clue they were leaving you out. People can be lost in their own little worlds sometimes! Hope that helps,
People always tell this, but really I rely don't feel that their flaws are that important. I have fun with them. They make me laugh, we like similar things. They're good people.
I'll try to talk to them about it. I'll have a hard time bringing it up but I think I'll manage. I just have to make sure I don't lash out or get to dramatic.
Thanks C:
I'll try to talk to them about it. I'll have a hard time bringing it up but I think I'll manage. I just have to make sure I don't lash out or get to dramatic.
Thanks C:
I rely don't feel that their flaws are that important.
Yes, you do. That's why you won't be honest with them.
They may be good people, but they may not be the ones for you.
I don't know what your school is like, but can you transfer to a public school? Are you going to go to a public HS?
Yes, you do. That's why you won't be honest with them.
They may be good people, but they may not be the ones for you.
I don't know what your school is like, but can you transfer to a public school? Are you going to go to a public HS?
I wanted to go to public school, because religion class was really eating up my available course slots but so far i've registered for 12th grade at the same catholic high school.
I'm not honest with them because I'm afraid they'll react badly. I'm afraid to find out that they actually don't like me and simply sympathized with the fact that I had no friends.
I'm not honest with them because I'm afraid they'll react badly. I'm afraid to find out that they actually don't like me and simply sympathized with the fact that I had no friends.
Why do you want people that are friends with you based on sympathy, and not merit?
Well... after grade 12, you'll be in university, right? Trust me, many people make alot of friends when they get to uni, and it's an amazing experience! ^^
For now, you should maybe try to befriend other people... even if they are in different cliques. It seems like those girls don't really cherish you as much as they should. It's their loss. You seem like a very sweet, and nice person, you can make friends. Just be a little more confident!
Well... after grade 12, you'll be in university, right? Trust me, many people make alot of friends when they get to uni, and it's an amazing experience! ^^
For now, you should maybe try to befriend other people... even if they are in different cliques. It seems like those girls don't really cherish you as much as they should. It's their loss. You seem like a very sweet, and nice person, you can make friends. Just be a little more confident!
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Talking to them is the best thing - and just relax! Take some deep breaths, remember that these are people you clearly like, and have some faith in them. Then you'll feel more confident when telling them how you feel, because you believe in them to be supportive of you. Good luck