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September 20, 2008
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Replies: 57

I have a boner and it won't go away...

:iconslyfox190:
SlyFox190 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
I tried everything from masturbating to looking at pictures of things that wouldn't make even the sickest fuck horny...I'm getting desperate. What do I do?
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Devious Comments

:iconephetat:
ephetat Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
i don't know, how soft is your bed?

and there's always autofellatio!
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:iconslyfox190:
SlyFox190 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
It's as soft as a fat chicks left side roll is. It gets sweaty, too...I don't know. Maybe I should get a new one. You really think that would fix this? I might just go for the "autofellatio" it sounds so much less expensive.
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:iconephetat:
ephetat Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
actually, autofellatio is the process of sucking your own appendage.

otherwise i'd still suggest masturbation, or taking a nap. it might distract your brain and the rest of your body into recalling the vast legions of blood molecules from your phallic regions!

as a last resort you could always go see a doctor -- or someone who you think might help, as long as you wear a slightly sheepish expression...
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:iconslyfox190:
SlyFox190 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Oh, I know. I'm just pretty cheap. That's all I meant. :D And, okay...napping. You're not the first person to suggest this. And even from other threads, too. The chances!
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:iconreverthex:
ReVerthex Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008  Professional Digital Artist
Ask the 40 year old virgin.
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:iconslyfox190:
SlyFox190 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
I tried. He changed his web page and e-mail address...I guess I needed an answer and he didn't have it. Figured I'd go to you guys next.
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:iconnovus-ordo:
Novus-Ordo Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Pray and hopefully God will Purify you of this. If that doesn't work, then Satan has gotten too deep in your head and you should find a Priest to help you cast him out and show you the Way.

This is what happens when you are too unPure. The Bible tried to warn you...
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:iconalibahulimud:
AliBahulimud Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008   Photographer
You are just joking, right?
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:iconslyfox190:
SlyFox190 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
I blame Viagra, not the Devil. D:
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:iconnovus-ordo:
Novus-Ordo Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2008
Viagra is a tool of the devil, its wrong to make a pill that fills you with so much sin!
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