SHITE! I'm in love with my bestfriend's girlfriend...
so, as it turns out, i've gone ahead and decided to fall for one of my best friend's girlfriend. i met her only a few weeks after they had just started going out, and i alway thought that she was a pretty cool girl, but i wasn't interested in her at that point, and especially cos she was already going out too. after a little while i started to develop feelings for her. initially, i just though i might be jealous, and then i started to notice that she would act completely different around me compared to her bf. she's always been more open and herself with me... anywho, in the last couple weeks, things have been getting a little rocky in their relationship. they're going on 8 months and have lived together 2. now all he does is hang with his friends and plays video games and just completely ignores her and just generally treats her like crap; just totally takes her for granted and she does so much for him...
it really hurts me to see her cry because of some of the shit he says and its worse cos he was my friend first, and a good one too... now hes just become an asshole.
now, i know i obviously wouldn't be able to start going out with her even if she did leave him soon... she'd need her time and space, i understand. and she's the kinda girl i could wait for... her bf doesn't even realize how amazing she is.
at this point, all i wanna know is what i should or can do... it's hurting me a lot to see the pain shes in and it hurts to hold all these feelings inside too. i can't really tell any of my other friends that i'm in love with my best friend's girlfriend, that would not go over well. can anyone sudgest anything for me to do about this situation?
it really hurts me to see her cry because of some of the shit he says and its worse cos he was my friend first, and a good one too... now hes just become an asshole.
now, i know i obviously wouldn't be able to start going out with her even if she did leave him soon... she'd need her time and space, i understand. and she's the kinda girl i could wait for... her bf doesn't even realize how amazing she is.
at this point, all i wanna know is what i should or can do... it's hurting me a lot to see the pain shes in and it hurts to hold all these feelings inside too. i can't really tell any of my other friends that i'm in love with my best friend's girlfriend, that would not go over well. can anyone sudgest anything for me to do about this situation?
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I was about to punch you in the face, because thats how long me and my girlfriend have been going out - 8 months. But then I saw the "lived together" part, so - nevermind.
Anyways, dont be a jackass.
Anyways, dont be a jackass.
If you want her, take her that's all. I was in your situation 2 or 3 times and i always did that. If the guy treat her like shit, he deserves it.
For greater justice !
For greater justice !
You can do it the Pickup Artist way. Take the girl by using Boyfriend destroyers 
.
BUT that doesn't seem like good idea would it?
WARNING: This may bite a bit at first, but if you want to do something, I Have a way through this. But first, allow me to 'rant'.
Listen well, love is worthless without commitment. Because commitment is the foundation of love. Emotions come from passion and attraction. So figure out what's going on within yourself first before you think about doing anything. But here's a solution.
Do you LOVE women? Do you LOVE woman? There are over 13 BILLION people on this Earth. And your putting YOUR SOUL on someone that doesn't contribute to your survival. I'm not against it. I'm just saying that you need to THINK ABOUT how you can support her future family and kids before you think this deeply! Right now...
- Your hurting yourself by being emotionally connected to someone that's not returning those same emotions
- Your opening yourself up to someone that doesn't need you
- Your thinking about her in such a way where your willing to surrender the thing you would value if you never met her
...And finally
- You two don't have to be hurting this way
--------------I cant change what you want. But if you love her and you want to contribute, I'll help you because of your passion and your willingness to share that good heart of yours---------
If you want to do something, do what pickup artists call the Boyfriend destroyers. Ironicly, they don't hurt the boyfriends in a direct manner. But what you can do with this is take the girl from him by HER WILL.
Here's the principles behind this quoted from Harmless:
-------------------------
"First, if you BASH her boyfriend, she will get DEFENSIVE and support him. You've just anchored good feelings towards her BF and BAD feelings towards you. Bad idea. This even happens if SHE starts bashing her BF and you AGREE with her.
Second, if you try to convince her that you are better than her BF, the same thing will happen.
Third, if you talk about how awesome her BF is and exaggerate it to impossible proportions and talk about how they are destined to be together forever, this will cause her to re-evaluate her BF in YOUR TERMS... and be disappointed.
Fourth, if you talk about how horrible a BF YOU would be, and why she would never want to date you, she will start to relate that to HER experience with HER boyfriend. It's sometimes also effective if you do this ironically, telling her how WONDERFUL you would be and then describing all your horrible traits as if they were ideal.
Fifth, use future adventures projection to have her imagining the two of you together. Use this HEAVILY. I cannot stress this enough.
Sixth, fractionate between a joking, tongue-in-cheek, "I'm just kidding" tone and serious, "Is he kidding?" tone depending on how into you she is and how attached she still is to her BF.
Seventh, use false disqualifies (Statements why it's a tragety you two can't be together like: "Your too much of a nice girl for me") a LOT. Make excuses for why you can't be with her, especially ones that disqualify yourself. It helps if they are blatantly weak excuses. My favorite is that my other girls take up too much of my time as it is. Use these right after Future Adventures Projection too.
Eighth, just pretend that the words "I have a boyfriend" have NO MEANING at all to you. Continue as if she never said it.
Ninth, she is destined to be yours and you both know it. There is no element of NEEDINESS here."
----------------------
If you feel you have the right to have her, get her and TAKE CARE OF HER alright?
AND PLEASE, DON'T be and act needy. It hurts your inner character and your social value. Use your passion to your advantage and think positivley. Your the good guy right? That's enough reason to smile.
~Gambit VII
P.S. before you get the girl, talk to her friends about what you think WITHOUT bashing. State the positive traits like "I'm willing to put a smile on this girls face"
.BUT that doesn't seem like good idea would it?
WARNING: This may bite a bit at first, but if you want to do something, I Have a way through this. But first, allow me to 'rant'.
Listen well, love is worthless without commitment. Because commitment is the foundation of love. Emotions come from passion and attraction. So figure out what's going on within yourself first before you think about doing anything. But here's a solution.
Do you LOVE women? Do you LOVE woman? There are over 13 BILLION people on this Earth. And your putting YOUR SOUL on someone that doesn't contribute to your survival. I'm not against it. I'm just saying that you need to THINK ABOUT how you can support her future family and kids before you think this deeply! Right now...
- Your hurting yourself by being emotionally connected to someone that's not returning those same emotions
- Your opening yourself up to someone that doesn't need you
- Your thinking about her in such a way where your willing to surrender the thing you would value if you never met her
...And finally
- You two don't have to be hurting this way
--------------I cant change what you want. But if you love her and you want to contribute, I'll help you because of your passion and your willingness to share that good heart of yours---------
If you want to do something, do what pickup artists call the Boyfriend destroyers. Ironicly, they don't hurt the boyfriends in a direct manner. But what you can do with this is take the girl from him by HER WILL.
Here's the principles behind this quoted from Harmless:
-------------------------
"First, if you BASH her boyfriend, she will get DEFENSIVE and support him. You've just anchored good feelings towards her BF and BAD feelings towards you. Bad idea. This even happens if SHE starts bashing her BF and you AGREE with her.
Second, if you try to convince her that you are better than her BF, the same thing will happen.
Third, if you talk about how awesome her BF is and exaggerate it to impossible proportions and talk about how they are destined to be together forever, this will cause her to re-evaluate her BF in YOUR TERMS... and be disappointed.
Fourth, if you talk about how horrible a BF YOU would be, and why she would never want to date you, she will start to relate that to HER experience with HER boyfriend. It's sometimes also effective if you do this ironically, telling her how WONDERFUL you would be and then describing all your horrible traits as if they were ideal.
Fifth, use future adventures projection to have her imagining the two of you together. Use this HEAVILY. I cannot stress this enough.
Sixth, fractionate between a joking, tongue-in-cheek, "I'm just kidding" tone and serious, "Is he kidding?" tone depending on how into you she is and how attached she still is to her BF.
Seventh, use false disqualifies (Statements why it's a tragety you two can't be together like: "Your too much of a nice girl for me") a LOT. Make excuses for why you can't be with her, especially ones that disqualify yourself. It helps if they are blatantly weak excuses. My favorite is that my other girls take up too much of my time as it is. Use these right after Future Adventures Projection too.
Eighth, just pretend that the words "I have a boyfriend" have NO MEANING at all to you. Continue as if she never said it.
Ninth, she is destined to be yours and you both know it. There is no element of NEEDINESS here."
----------------------
If you feel you have the right to have her, get her and TAKE CARE OF HER alright?
AND PLEASE, DON'T be and act needy. It hurts your inner character and your social value. Use your passion to your advantage and think positivley. Your the good guy right? That's enough reason to smile.
~Gambit VII
P.S. before you get the girl, talk to her friends about what you think WITHOUT bashing. State the positive traits like "I'm willing to put a smile on this girls face"
As long as she's with someone else you should respect that. Unless it's really out of control and the dude is abuseive.
Other than that, I'd suggest you get over it and wait it out.
Other than that, I'd suggest you get over it and wait it out.