To anyone who has been brutally hurt and has had his trust broken(which makes most of us).

I am aware I am not the only cynic here, lol. Well, coming to the point, my best friend broke my trust. The worst thing a person can do to me is break my trust, and that's exactly what she did.

A few days back, I had cut my wrists and the cuts ran so deep that it caused a constant bleeding, I was not planning to die, I had simply wanted to cut myself because something unexpected had happened. But this is a different story.

I texted my best friend telling her what I had done, and I got no response. I got scared so I called her up, she picked up the phone and sounded completely casual.

Here is how it went:-

Myself: Did you get my message ?
Best friend: Yeah, I did. *No emotion in her voice*
Myself: Oh, I see...
Best friend: I am with college friends, going to college. *Laughs with her friends*
Myself: *Trying to recover from the shock of what she had done* Oh, okay...bye.

Well, if you people are curious about how my life was saved, then I'd just save that story for later.

The problem I need to have a serious discussion on is the magnitude of my best friend's betrayal, she had been my best friend for 12/13 years now. No kidding. The last thing I want to hear is the justification for her act, cause what did was plain wrong, so justifying it would be out of question. I expected that she would ask me later on if my problem had been solved, if my cuts had started to heal, but my anticipation went in vain. And, even though, I am trying to work my out of it by keeping myself busy with the exams-preparation, it seems impossible to enetirely subside my pain.

However, I am proud of myself for trying and even prouder that I haven't tried contacting her again. This wasn't the first time that she hurt me, she's hurt me on numerous occassions, she has made unimaginable mistakes with me, the kind not many people could forgive. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to reperesent myself as a saint(not even close). If anything, I believe I am a fool to have forgiven her before, I feel like I've brutally mocked myself.

Rest assure, I am not using bad coping strategies in order to get through all this(to my surprise), but I wish she would realise what she had done.

*Sighs* I feel so good after writing it out.

Thanks for reading, y'all.

Love, Farah

--
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep...
And miles to go before I sleep