Its true. I know it sounds 'Emo', but right now, im just not happy with how things are going in my life . The one good thing I have is my boyfriend, who I love, but it just seems not to be enough. I fucking ruin things by being all depressed, and its not even his fault. Im gonna be the one to ruin this awesome relationship, just cause I can't control my emotions. I have super jealousy problems that Im trying to work on, but obviously its not working. And I feel terrible because I trust him with my whole heart, but theres always gonna be that little part thats afraid of getting hurt.

ALSO When I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, i ABSOLUTELY hate what I see. I hate the way I look, the way i sound, my wieght, my hair, EVERYTHING. I just wish I could be everything Im not. And yes I know theres good things about everyone, Im just not happy with mine. And Im prolly not even fun to hang oout with. I wish I had a really fun personality, instead of a really lame and boring one. =/ I just want so much more for myself.

And One more topic. My grades. Yea Im starting to get all A's. But thats still not good enough for me. There is so much stress put into these grades, and it seems like I could be doing better, and its killing me. I still have a couple B's. And im STRIVING to get them to really good A's, and I Cannot be happy until i know for sure Im doing my absolute best.

Sorry for the long self pity emo rant. I just needed somewhere to put my thoughts.

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~~~Yamete, oshiri (ga) itai!!!!!!!!~~~